One Hundred Eighty-Five.
If you've been reading this blog for a year or longer, you may remember that I make homemade Valentine's cards every year. I mentioned this in a blog last February. I've been doing it for about 25 years or so and every year at about this time I go a bit nuts.
Right now, my living room is a complete mess, with supplies everywhere and bits and pieces of crud on the floor. It's not normal card making crud either. This year's cards will be made out of metal mesh, felt and cord. There's no typical "pretty card paper" to be found, In fact, I haven't made a Valentine's card out of "pretty card paper" in years (1999?). And the last time I did, it was watercolor paper which had an original painting on it. My cards are often made out of all sorts of household materials typically unintended for greeting card usage. Sometimes, I will make cards on canvas: meaning oil paintings or some type of 3-D design which needs to be affixed to a perfectly flat surface. Usually though, my cards are overgrown, migraine-inducing projects for me. (Who can ever forget the year I commissioned a metal shop on Cleveland's west side to precut metal plates out of steel? Then I glued on tiny glass beads into the shape of a heart.) These cards are as much work as building a full-size Eiffel Tower out of wooden sticks in my backyard.
If I survive the ordeal, in your mailbox, you'll find the large envelope which contains the artwork, some chocolates and a child's store-bought greeting card intended for the third-grade classroom: One Direction, Superman, Scooby Doo, Justin Bieber, Charlie Brown or whatever is currently popular. Recipients love the entire package and that feels wonderful. (Over the years a few husbands have thanked me for sending their wives, my old friends, these cards. The husbands claim I takes the pressure off them.)
Every year I send out 5 or 6 dozen of those things and the mailing list is constantly evolving. New friends are shocked when these unknown packages arrive in the mail. (You see, I don't tell new friends in advance about them.) They phone me, expressing some form of mixed appreciation/shock/glee. I've been accused of "having waaaaaaay too much time on my hands" And, as this is the real world, others do fall of the list. People who may have been art of my life 10 years ago, but whom I no longer have an active friendship with, no longer get cards. Unless, of course, they phone me on February 15th screaming, "WHERE'S MY GODDAMN CARD?" Then I do resume them the following year. (This has happened.) But I just cannot make 200, or more, of those things and mail them out every year. I wish I could, but I can't. I don't have the money or time. This year's list is just under 60 and that was with ruthless editing, which I unfortunately must employ. As it is, cards go to Europe and 10 states besides Ohio.
I began making these cards while studying art in school, but not as an art project. They're simply a creative outlet for me. Today, everyone who knows me well, knows that my regular artistic endeavors are: hairdressing, commercial window design, creative writing, food prep and Valentine's Day cards. That's probably enough. But who knows what the future holds?
Valentine's Day card made by me, 2013. Heavy, rigid plastic, cut and spray-painted gold. Wrapped in Saran Wrap and eyelash yarn.
Jeremy Gutow is a Cleveland-based male nanny and private chef. He also manages a beauty salon.
Friday, January 31, 2014
If You Always Do What You've Always Done...
Page One Hundred Eighty-Four.
There's an old saying, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got". I think some people don't always realize the implications of that axiom. No matter how much we may want change, and allegedly make a decision to change, if we don't take the actions to change the freeway we're on, we're going to continue down that road with nary a twist or turn.
I think a lot about decision-making without action-taking. That's where so many of us get stuck. It is very difficult to make different actions than we're used to making. But when those actions are improvements or evolutions over old ones they eventually feel so good. We wonder why we didn't do it sooner.
New jobs, new relationships, new eating habits; improved lifestyles, improved ways of dealing with stress, improved inner security... and all which increase our ability to contribute to society, are ours for the taking. All we have to do is follow-up our healthy decisions with actions.
How easy.
There's an old saying, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got". I think some people don't always realize the implications of that axiom. No matter how much we may want change, and allegedly make a decision to change, if we don't take the actions to change the freeway we're on, we're going to continue down that road with nary a twist or turn.
I think a lot about decision-making without action-taking. That's where so many of us get stuck. It is very difficult to make different actions than we're used to making. But when those actions are improvements or evolutions over old ones they eventually feel so good. We wonder why we didn't do it sooner.
New jobs, new relationships, new eating habits; improved lifestyles, improved ways of dealing with stress, improved inner security... and all which increase our ability to contribute to society, are ours for the taking. All we have to do is follow-up our healthy decisions with actions.
How easy.
Cleveland Heights, Ohio In The Winter |
Thursday, January 30, 2014
A Superbowl Meal
Page One Hundred Eighty-Three.
Superbowl Sunday is in a couple of days. I'll probably watch the game with my Indian roommate in tow. Superbowl Sunday is the #1 pizza day in America, literally. But I'm so sick of pizza after my pizza party last week that I'm boycotting it for a little while. I'm thinking of making homemade chicken pot pie. It's neither fast nor easy but it is tasty. However, as mentioned prior in this blog, my roommate's biggest complaint about American food is it's lack of spicyness. Well, chicken pot pie pretty much epitomizes that. However, mine is extra flavorful, I'm proud to declare. So, perhaps he'll like it.
**********
My favorite Superbowl memory dates to the mid-90's. A very close friend, Meryl, phoned me at the Star Spangled Banner and we stayed on the phone through the entire game. I hadn't spent that much time on the phone since those wacky teenage years. But it was too fun. It was like having a close friend over, but without the clean-up when they leave. Also, I was able to watch TV in my underwear. Always a plus.
Superbowl Sunday is in a couple of days. I'll probably watch the game with my Indian roommate in tow. Superbowl Sunday is the #1 pizza day in America, literally. But I'm so sick of pizza after my pizza party last week that I'm boycotting it for a little while. I'm thinking of making homemade chicken pot pie. It's neither fast nor easy but it is tasty. However, as mentioned prior in this blog, my roommate's biggest complaint about American food is it's lack of spicyness. Well, chicken pot pie pretty much epitomizes that. However, mine is extra flavorful, I'm proud to declare. So, perhaps he'll like it.
**********
My favorite Superbowl memory dates to the mid-90's. A very close friend, Meryl, phoned me at the Star Spangled Banner and we stayed on the phone through the entire game. I hadn't spent that much time on the phone since those wacky teenage years. But it was too fun. It was like having a close friend over, but without the clean-up when they leave. Also, I was able to watch TV in my underwear. Always a plus.
On Studying The Book Of Job
Page One Hundred Eighty-Two.
I've been invited to join a monthly Bible study group. Typically, 10, 12 or so people attend this decades-long affair. It's led by a now-retired minister with another retired minister one of the attendees, along with 2 former nuns (now Protestants) and assorted husbands, wives, various tag-a-longs and now, me. I love my life. Positively adore it.
I think I've been invited because I'm often seen as someone who brings a new or original insight to whatever spiritual or religious issue is being discusses. I suspect my Jewishness played some into the decision to invite me, but not heavily. I'm just immensely curious about the Bible and what it has to say. And, people who talk with me about religious or spiritual subjects pick up on that really fast.
I disagree with much of the Bible's teachings and am fairly open about that. I also disagree with much of the history which is taken as Biblical fact. But I think what strikes people quickly is my knowledge. So many people who disagree with this verse or that don't really know much about the Bible itself. I do know it critically; though admittedly nowhere near as much as these retired ministers or nuns, but some. Probably more than the typical church/synagogue attending American, in fact. I'm so intensely interested in it.
It's human nature to have issues with beliefs or attitudes which affect you negatively or disagree with the way you were raised. But that's where most people stop. They choose to get angry and then stay in the anger without speaking with those people or reading and studying the books which these people quote. I, on the other hand, was raised to believe in educated dialogue. Not debate or argument, mind you, but friendly, open and educated discourse. Subsequently, if I have an issue with, say, the occasionally held 18th and 19th century belief that slavery is sanctioned by the Bible, then I better find out all I can about the entire book and even more about those specific verses which are quoted by those believers. And this is just one example.
So the first class I'll be attending,
in a few weeks, will be on the book of Job. I know a little about that book, but not much. I was told that's perfectly fine and not to worry about my lack of education. Well I can't help it. There's a massive over-achiever in me that won't always stay camouflaged. I've already taken down some books from my bookshelf and begun studying. That is one seriously fascinating book.
And, maybe most importantly, dinner is included. You know those old church ladies can cook. This hostess is allegedly a magnificent cook, too. I'm not allowed to bring a thing. (They specifically told me that.) A free Protestant meal, and all I have to do is show up and be contrary. Yum, Yum, Yum!!!
I've been invited to join a monthly Bible study group. Typically, 10, 12 or so people attend this decades-long affair. It's led by a now-retired minister with another retired minister one of the attendees, along with 2 former nuns (now Protestants) and assorted husbands, wives, various tag-a-longs and now, me. I love my life. Positively adore it.
I think I've been invited because I'm often seen as someone who brings a new or original insight to whatever spiritual or religious issue is being discusses. I suspect my Jewishness played some into the decision to invite me, but not heavily. I'm just immensely curious about the Bible and what it has to say. And, people who talk with me about religious or spiritual subjects pick up on that really fast.
I disagree with much of the Bible's teachings and am fairly open about that. I also disagree with much of the history which is taken as Biblical fact. But I think what strikes people quickly is my knowledge. So many people who disagree with this verse or that don't really know much about the Bible itself. I do know it critically; though admittedly nowhere near as much as these retired ministers or nuns, but some. Probably more than the typical church/synagogue attending American, in fact. I'm so intensely interested in it.
It's human nature to have issues with beliefs or attitudes which affect you negatively or disagree with the way you were raised. But that's where most people stop. They choose to get angry and then stay in the anger without speaking with those people or reading and studying the books which these people quote. I, on the other hand, was raised to believe in educated dialogue. Not debate or argument, mind you, but friendly, open and educated discourse. Subsequently, if I have an issue with, say, the occasionally held 18th and 19th century belief that slavery is sanctioned by the Bible, then I better find out all I can about the entire book and even more about those specific verses which are quoted by those believers. And this is just one example.
So the first class I'll be attending,
The Book Of Job |
And, maybe most importantly, dinner is included. You know those old church ladies can cook. This hostess is allegedly a magnificent cook, too. I'm not allowed to bring a thing. (They specifically told me that.) A free Protestant meal, and all I have to do is show up and be contrary. Yum, Yum, Yum!!!
Friday, January 24, 2014
On Feeding An Indian Roommate
Page One Hundred Eighty-One.
Nainital, India |
Nainital, India. Evening. |
I currently have an Indian roommate. He's finishing up medical school back home and he's here, in Cleveland, doing a medical rotation as part of his education. Raja's only here for a few months, but is hoping to come back and start his residency in 2015 at University Hospitals of Cleveland, the hospital he's doing his short rotation at right now. I've been driving him around and showing him the sites, museums and so forth (in spite of our Cleveland winter, God help me).
|
He's enjoying his time here very much but does complain that American food is difficult to get used to. He thinks it's, well, for lack of a better word, "flat". His home region, Kashmir, is known for their flavorful dishes in the first place and apparently his mother really pushes her spice usage over the edge. So, of course, when you've been eating that style for 23 years, hamburger and french fries can seem a bit bland. (He will eat beef.) His uncle, who's a doctor in Las Vegas loves American food. But Uncle has also been here for a couple of decades and has gradually acclimated to our flavors. Raja realizes that and is looking forward to acclimating too. He's being a trooper though. While I was perfecting my homemade pizza dough and pizza sauce for the pizza party/bridal shower last week, I did lots of taste tests. Raja was gleefully happy to aid with that dubious chore. I also make myself lots of rice & bean dishes to which I add Tabasco sauce and other extra stuff. One day I splashed some Tabasco into a spoon and gave it to him. He was impressed by its fire.
I've made Indian cuisine a few times over the years, but am not at all fluent in it. So, I'm not yet comfortable offering to make him "food like Momma used to make". I have been blessed by being an extremely quick study in the kitchen, though. So perhaps I should offer one of these days. I think Indian food is all about the sauce. If that sauce is correct, you just pour it over lamb or chicken and white rice and call it supper. Unless, of course, you're dealing with a vegetarian. Then simply pour your sauce over lentils and rice. Either way, just stabilize that sauce and you're home free.
Raja is staying until early March. But, he's recommending me to a med school buddy back in India who's also coming to Cleveland for a rotation. That buddy is arriving just as Raja's leaving. So the buddy wants to move into my place for the month he'll be here. That's fine with me. I can't stand looking for roommates.
I can just see my place turning into an annex of the Cleveland India Community Center (which is 1/2 mile away). But if this does happen, I really should become a gracious host and learn their cuisine preparation. It would make all these ridiculously young medical students feel warm and cozy on the inside.
|
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Meanwhile, Back At Williams-Sonoma...
Page One Hundred-Eighty.
So, I went into the 'ole place to drop off my receipts for the bridal shower food. They want me to start teaching cooking classes on a regular, weekly basis. This job won't pay the rent just yet, but who knows what the future holds?
So, I went into the 'ole place to drop off my receipts for the bridal shower food. They want me to start teaching cooking classes on a regular, weekly basis. This job won't pay the rent just yet, but who knows what the future holds?
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
A Few Non-Sequitors
Page One Hundred Seventy-Nine.
Three days ago I catered an event at Williams-Sonoma. They were having a bridal shower in the store and hired me to come on in and make all the food. It was a headache. It was a pizza party for 30 so I made 10 pizzas with all the usual variety of toppings. Plus there was the salad, raw vegetable shish-ka-bobs and chocolate-dipped strawberries. In fact, I demonstrated the shish-kas and choco-berries, so I was technically the entertainment at this bridal party. (The second time in my life when that's happened. But, the first time is a separate and somewhat inappropriate story.) I made all the dough and sauce the day before. My back hurt by the time the whole thing was over on Saturday night.
******************************
The next day, was Sunday and to relax post-pizza, I decided to take in a church double-feature. I haven't done that in a while. By "church double-feature" I mean that I attend one church service at 9.30 and a different one at 11. Please don't question this. It all makes perfect sense in my Jewish universe. I figure if I'm going to attend a different religion's house of worship at all, why not do 2 in one day? I have copious numbers of friends in both of these particular churches and the senior minister of one is sort of like my spiritual advisor. So it really is quite an enjoyable morning.
They're both United Methodist, a denomination which I know is undergoing difficult evolution and transition. So, it's doubly fascinating as an outsider for me to watch them evolve, but from within. I knew that they'd be celebrating Martin Luther King Day in their respective services, in one form or another. Subsequently, I correctly assumed that their current struggle with gay civil rights would come up.
The United Methodist denomination has a poor record with embracing civil rights for all people in the first place. However, 1 of the 2 churches which I attend is somewhat willing to engage in dialogue about it's history. For the record, United Methodism wasn't established with civil rights of any form in mind, anyhow. It was established in the 18th century solely to spread the word of the Christian Gospel to the needy of the world. So it makes sense that it would have a slow record on embracing human rights issues still today. Human rights has simply never been it's priority. Converting the poor to Christ through hope and prayer has been.
This, as opposed to a denomination like The United Church of Christ which was established almost exclusively for civil rights issues back in the 17th century; and, subsequently began ordaining black people to their ministry in the 1820's, females in the 1890's and homosexuals in the early 1970's. The Congregationalists (the former name of United Church of Christ) practically invented the abolitionist movement. That's simply how they identify themselves. They'll also admit that they use the Bible as a "reference" book.
I'm learning that different Christian denominations are really like different schools. Would you go to MIT and expect to get a degree in Art History? So really... come on. Why be surprised when a certain denomination (Methodism) that didn't even acknowledge MLK's assassination in 1968 at it's services on the Sunday following the shooting, would struggle with gay rights?
I'm like a Jewish Mr. Spock. I find the whole situation fascinating. (Tel Aviv, Israel is currently the #1 vacation destination in the world for gay travelers. Jews love the gays. Just love 'em. Even Orthodox Jews, our version of Southern Baptists have begun embracing homos.)
*****************************
My job with the kid is coming to an end again. He's switching schools right now so I'll no longer be needed. Anybody have a job to offer me?
Three days ago I catered an event at Williams-Sonoma. They were having a bridal shower in the store and hired me to come on in and make all the food. It was a headache. It was a pizza party for 30 so I made 10 pizzas with all the usual variety of toppings. Plus there was the salad, raw vegetable shish-ka-bobs and chocolate-dipped strawberries. In fact, I demonstrated the shish-kas and choco-berries, so I was technically the entertainment at this bridal party. (The second time in my life when that's happened. But, the first time is a separate and somewhat inappropriate story.) I made all the dough and sauce the day before. My back hurt by the time the whole thing was over on Saturday night.
******************************
The next day, was Sunday and to relax post-pizza, I decided to take in a church double-feature. I haven't done that in a while. By "church double-feature" I mean that I attend one church service at 9.30 and a different one at 11. Please don't question this. It all makes perfect sense in my Jewish universe. I figure if I'm going to attend a different religion's house of worship at all, why not do 2 in one day? I have copious numbers of friends in both of these particular churches and the senior minister of one is sort of like my spiritual advisor. So it really is quite an enjoyable morning.
They're both United Methodist, a denomination which I know is undergoing difficult evolution and transition. So, it's doubly fascinating as an outsider for me to watch them evolve, but from within. I knew that they'd be celebrating Martin Luther King Day in their respective services, in one form or another. Subsequently, I correctly assumed that their current struggle with gay civil rights would come up.
The United Methodist denomination has a poor record with embracing civil rights for all people in the first place. However, 1 of the 2 churches which I attend is somewhat willing to engage in dialogue about it's history. For the record, United Methodism wasn't established with civil rights of any form in mind, anyhow. It was established in the 18th century solely to spread the word of the Christian Gospel to the needy of the world. So it makes sense that it would have a slow record on embracing human rights issues still today. Human rights has simply never been it's priority. Converting the poor to Christ through hope and prayer has been.
This, as opposed to a denomination like The United Church of Christ which was established almost exclusively for civil rights issues back in the 17th century; and, subsequently began ordaining black people to their ministry in the 1820's, females in the 1890's and homosexuals in the early 1970's. The Congregationalists (the former name of United Church of Christ) practically invented the abolitionist movement. That's simply how they identify themselves. They'll also admit that they use the Bible as a "reference" book.
I'm learning that different Christian denominations are really like different schools. Would you go to MIT and expect to get a degree in Art History? So really... come on. Why be surprised when a certain denomination (Methodism) that didn't even acknowledge MLK's assassination in 1968 at it's services on the Sunday following the shooting, would struggle with gay rights?
I'm like a Jewish Mr. Spock. I find the whole situation fascinating. (Tel Aviv, Israel is currently the #1 vacation destination in the world for gay travelers. Jews love the gays. Just love 'em. Even Orthodox Jews, our version of Southern Baptists have begun embracing homos.)
*****************************
My job with the kid is coming to an end again. He's switching schools right now so I'll no longer be needed. Anybody have a job to offer me?
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Peter The Martian's Pad Thai
Page One Hundred Seventy-Eight.
I'll first be having Peter's Pad Thai 7573 years from now when I serve aboard the USS Gaga. He'll be the head chef of that earth-based inter-galactic vessel. This, in spite of the fact that he'll be a Martian will be quite a feat. How he'll learn to make earth food so well, I won't ever figure out. But, every Friday night for our Sabbath meal he'll make this wonderful dish. I can already taste it.
Here's his recipe, all the way from the future. All ingredients are approximate and will need to be adjusted to suit your specific taste preferences. I suggest practicing this dish a few times prior to serving it to people who's opinions or feelings you actually care about. This will feed between four and six depending upon whether or not they're polite.
Plan on a trip to your local Asian food market for some of the products. If you haven't got a local Asian market, good luck.
Peter the Martian's Pad Thai
1 package of medium rice noodles. (I think a package is 1 pound)
some peanut oil or other oil which can withstand high heat
some hot water
1 canister of palm sugar
more hot water (perhaps 1 cup?)
2-3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 canister of tamarind sauce
1 bottle of fish sauce
a few chicken breasts or thighs or both, cooked, sliced into bite-sized pieces (if desired, chicken can be supplemented with cooked, large shrimp)
1 package of tiny shrimp
1 package of pressed tofu (the extra dry kind) sliced into tiny pieces
a bunch of scallions, sliced diagonally into pretty pieces
a large handful of frozen peas, thawed
a large handful of bean sprouts
a couple of fresh limes, one cut in half, the other cut into wedges
about 1/2 cup of lightly crushed peanuts
First, Pray and prepare to work fast. Gather all ingredients together, sliced and organized prior to starting ANY cooking. Asian cooking is all about speed and the only way that can be attained is to have everything ready to go prior to cooking anything.
Second, soak the noodles in a large bowl of hot water. Asian rice noodles are never cooked, just soaked.
Third, open the canister of palm sugar and remove about 4 or 5 of the discs. Palm sugar arrives in round discs which are hard as rock. The rounds vary in size from 1 or 2 inches across. They're hard 'cause they're like Asian brown sugar which has intentionally been left out to dry. Put a bunch into a bowl and pour on some very hot water and let them soften for a while.
Fourth, put your wok onto the stove and pour in some oil. Enough to cook a lot of food. Perhaps a few tablespoons or so. Heat the oil "till it's pretty darn hot.
Fifth, pour in the beaten eggs and scramble for just a minute.
Sixth, dump in the drained, wet noodles and stir with the eggs.
Seventh, pour in the palm sugar AND the hot water and a few tablespoons of tamarind sauce and a few teaspoons of fish sauce. Stir like mad.
Add the chicken, a healthy handful of shrimp and lots of tofu pieces. Stir like crazy.
Finally, add the scallions, peas and sprouts. Stir again.
If the entire concoction is too dry, add some hot water right now. There should definitely be droplets of moisture on the food as you're eating it. But, it shouldn't be in a sauce per se. So don't add to much water. Got it? (Add a little at a time and you'll be fine.)
Squeeze the two halves of lime over the whole shebang.
After the Pad Thai is plated, garnish with some peanuts sprinkled over and a lime wedge served on the side. Chow down on one of the world's most delicious national dishes (Thailand).
Yes indeedy. Pad Thai is to Thailand what a hamburger and fries are to America; fish and chips are to England, falafel is to Israel, gyro is to Greece or fried rice to China. It's that ubiquitous. In fact, it's so prevalent on the streets over there, that nobody actually makes it from scratch at home. You know how nobody makes Oreo cookies at home from scratch in America? Same thing. You simply go out and buy it. No questions asked.
Here's the primary problem with making it at home from scratch in America: getting the sauce right. Good Pad Thai is all about a balance of sweet, bitter/sour and salty. Sweet comes from the palm sugar, bitter/sour is from tamarind and salty is from fish sauce. As previously mentioned, palm sugar arrives hard, like perfect discs of dead brown sugar. These melt slowly in heat, such as water. Or in a wok while you're cooking everything together. Tamarind is a bitter fruit which is pureed and put into a canister. A little of this stuff goes a long way. Fish sauce is the consistency of water but super salty and with the taste of fish. This is sprinkled out from it's jar. For more salt flavor, I also add the tiny shrimp. It's a bit non-traditional, but really good.
At the end, the lime juice adds a splash of citrus zing and pucker which is very traditional and the peanuts add some crunch.
So that's it. I seriously suggest practicing a few times on forgiving friends or your children when they've been bratty prior to making it for a special engagement. Even bad pad thai sis still wonderful though.
This page of How to Cook Children supplements the YouTube video entitled:
How to Cook Children - Episode 10; Pad Thai
(You'll need to type in that EXACT address or it'll take you a while to find.)
I'll first be having Peter's Pad Thai 7573 years from now when I serve aboard the USS Gaga. He'll be the head chef of that earth-based inter-galactic vessel. This, in spite of the fact that he'll be a Martian will be quite a feat. How he'll learn to make earth food so well, I won't ever figure out. But, every Friday night for our Sabbath meal he'll make this wonderful dish. I can already taste it.
Here's his recipe, all the way from the future. All ingredients are approximate and will need to be adjusted to suit your specific taste preferences. I suggest practicing this dish a few times prior to serving it to people who's opinions or feelings you actually care about. This will feed between four and six depending upon whether or not they're polite.
Plan on a trip to your local Asian food market for some of the products. If you haven't got a local Asian market, good luck.
Peter the Martian's Pad Thai
1 package of medium rice noodles. (I think a package is 1 pound)
some peanut oil or other oil which can withstand high heat
some hot water
1 canister of palm sugar
more hot water (perhaps 1 cup?)
2-3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 canister of tamarind sauce
1 bottle of fish sauce
a few chicken breasts or thighs or both, cooked, sliced into bite-sized pieces (if desired, chicken can be supplemented with cooked, large shrimp)
1 package of tiny shrimp
1 package of pressed tofu (the extra dry kind) sliced into tiny pieces
a bunch of scallions, sliced diagonally into pretty pieces
a large handful of frozen peas, thawed
a large handful of bean sprouts
a couple of fresh limes, one cut in half, the other cut into wedges
about 1/2 cup of lightly crushed peanuts
First, Pray and prepare to work fast. Gather all ingredients together, sliced and organized prior to starting ANY cooking. Asian cooking is all about speed and the only way that can be attained is to have everything ready to go prior to cooking anything.
Second, soak the noodles in a large bowl of hot water. Asian rice noodles are never cooked, just soaked.
Third, open the canister of palm sugar and remove about 4 or 5 of the discs. Palm sugar arrives in round discs which are hard as rock. The rounds vary in size from 1 or 2 inches across. They're hard 'cause they're like Asian brown sugar which has intentionally been left out to dry. Put a bunch into a bowl and pour on some very hot water and let them soften for a while.
Fourth, put your wok onto the stove and pour in some oil. Enough to cook a lot of food. Perhaps a few tablespoons or so. Heat the oil "till it's pretty darn hot.
Fifth, pour in the beaten eggs and scramble for just a minute.
Sixth, dump in the drained, wet noodles and stir with the eggs.
Seventh, pour in the palm sugar AND the hot water and a few tablespoons of tamarind sauce and a few teaspoons of fish sauce. Stir like mad.
Add the chicken, a healthy handful of shrimp and lots of tofu pieces. Stir like crazy.
Finally, add the scallions, peas and sprouts. Stir again.
If the entire concoction is too dry, add some hot water right now. There should definitely be droplets of moisture on the food as you're eating it. But, it shouldn't be in a sauce per se. So don't add to much water. Got it? (Add a little at a time and you'll be fine.)
Squeeze the two halves of lime over the whole shebang.
After the Pad Thai is plated, garnish with some peanuts sprinkled over and a lime wedge served on the side. Chow down on one of the world's most delicious national dishes (Thailand).
Yes indeedy. Pad Thai is to Thailand what a hamburger and fries are to America; fish and chips are to England, falafel is to Israel, gyro is to Greece or fried rice to China. It's that ubiquitous. In fact, it's so prevalent on the streets over there, that nobody actually makes it from scratch at home. You know how nobody makes Oreo cookies at home from scratch in America? Same thing. You simply go out and buy it. No questions asked.
Here's the primary problem with making it at home from scratch in America: getting the sauce right. Good Pad Thai is all about a balance of sweet, bitter/sour and salty. Sweet comes from the palm sugar, bitter/sour is from tamarind and salty is from fish sauce. As previously mentioned, palm sugar arrives hard, like perfect discs of dead brown sugar. These melt slowly in heat, such as water. Or in a wok while you're cooking everything together. Tamarind is a bitter fruit which is pureed and put into a canister. A little of this stuff goes a long way. Fish sauce is the consistency of water but super salty and with the taste of fish. This is sprinkled out from it's jar. For more salt flavor, I also add the tiny shrimp. It's a bit non-traditional, but really good.
At the end, the lime juice adds a splash of citrus zing and pucker which is very traditional and the peanuts add some crunch.
So that's it. I seriously suggest practicing a few times on forgiving friends or your children when they've been bratty prior to making it for a special engagement. Even bad pad thai sis still wonderful though.
This page of How to Cook Children supplements the YouTube video entitled:
How to Cook Children - Episode 10; Pad Thai
(You'll need to type in that EXACT address or it'll take you a while to find.)
Yum-Yum, Pad Thai |
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Dear Readers...
Page One Hundred Seventy-Seven.
Dear readers (don't you always get concerned when you read a column in the newspaper which starts that way? But, oh well...) starting soonish you may notice a new tone added to this blog. That's because I'm merging another blog in with this one. My other blog, "The Mystery Of One Self" discusses some of my philosophies of life, God, the universe, gratitude, hope and all manner of things which make the world an easier place to live in. That blog is only a few months old but already has a devoted, albeit small, regular readership. I'm simply too busy to work on two blogs. Look, I can barely get three of these blogs written per week, let alone six once the other blog is included. Too much is too much.
As it is, this blog was supposed to be primarily about my experiences with food, children and food combined with children. But, I've already strayed from those topics so much it just makes my head spin. I mean really, what's with all this crap about Cleveland, Ohio anyhow? (I just really love my town, Cleveland, and find it an endlessly fascinating thing to discuss.) And, the Cleveland Museum of Art??? (By the way, have you been there yet? I saw the newest galleries two days ago. Mind-boggling, just mind-boggling.) So adding my thoughts about God is only the next step in the evolution of this blog. Plus the fact, I've discussed God with almost all the children I've nannied over the years. They have tons of questions about Her and those questions really inspire a lot of contemplation. Children want to know.
The other thing you'll notice about those blog entries is my inclusion of photo illustrations which seemingly appear to have nothing to do with anything. Pretty flowers, amazing buildings, beautiful people, gorgeous snowstorms, etc are included alongside those God-thoughts. Those pretty pictures simply illustrate God's handiworks in all their infinite varieties. (Can anybody honestly tell me that God didn't spend just a little bit extra time on Elizabeth Taylor's face and body?)
The address for the other blog is www.mysteryofoneself.blogspot.com if you'd like to get a sneak preview. Being new, it's only about 20 or so pages long. Thanks for reading. I truly appreciate it.
Dear readers (don't you always get concerned when you read a column in the newspaper which starts that way? But, oh well...) starting soonish you may notice a new tone added to this blog. That's because I'm merging another blog in with this one. My other blog, "The Mystery Of One Self" discusses some of my philosophies of life, God, the universe, gratitude, hope and all manner of things which make the world an easier place to live in. That blog is only a few months old but already has a devoted, albeit small, regular readership. I'm simply too busy to work on two blogs. Look, I can barely get three of these blogs written per week, let alone six once the other blog is included. Too much is too much.
As it is, this blog was supposed to be primarily about my experiences with food, children and food combined with children. But, I've already strayed from those topics so much it just makes my head spin. I mean really, what's with all this crap about Cleveland, Ohio anyhow? (I just really love my town, Cleveland, and find it an endlessly fascinating thing to discuss.) And, the Cleveland Museum of Art??? (By the way, have you been there yet? I saw the newest galleries two days ago. Mind-boggling, just mind-boggling.) So adding my thoughts about God is only the next step in the evolution of this blog. Plus the fact, I've discussed God with almost all the children I've nannied over the years. They have tons of questions about Her and those questions really inspire a lot of contemplation. Children want to know.
The other thing you'll notice about those blog entries is my inclusion of photo illustrations which seemingly appear to have nothing to do with anything. Pretty flowers, amazing buildings, beautiful people, gorgeous snowstorms, etc are included alongside those God-thoughts. Those pretty pictures simply illustrate God's handiworks in all their infinite varieties. (Can anybody honestly tell me that God didn't spend just a little bit extra time on Elizabeth Taylor's face and body?)
The address for the other blog is www.mysteryofoneself.blogspot.com if you'd like to get a sneak preview. Being new, it's only about 20 or so pages long. Thanks for reading. I truly appreciate it.
French Actor, Sami Frey circa mid-1960's |
Friday, January 3, 2014
How To Make Fried Rice
Page One Hundred Seventy-Six.
Yesterday, I made the kid Chinese fried rice for dinner. He liked it very much and asked me where I learned to make it. I told him the entire story, which he didn't believe. I'll tell you, too. I know that you will believe me.
I was living in a hut in Wisconsin in the 5th century B.C. and my neighbor,Golda Meir, visited me often just to gossip about this and that. But one particular day she was venting deeply to me about her new boyfriend, Confucius. Seems she was upset with him because Sinatra was on tour and Connie wouldn't buy tickets for the show merely because of Frankie's reputed lack of sophistication. You see, Connie was really into personal enrichment and Frankie just didn't appear to care about such things. And as Confucius was really preoccupied with wearing his ethics on his sleeve he had to boycott Sinatra. This really angered Golda because Frankie made her swoon.
So the next week, Golda came over to my place again and this time brought me some food that I'd never heard of. It was called Fried Rice. Apparently after venting to me she went over and had a blow out with Connie. So the next day, he tried to win Golda back by making her dinner. It was this fried rice stuff which he said his mother invented one day because she had some old, stale rice she wanted to use up. Well, my gosh that stuff was tasty! They ended-up making up, too. Partially because that rice was sooooo good and partially because Connie came down off his high horse and purchased Sinatra tickets.
That was simultaneously the beginning of the love affair between Jewish people and Chinese food.
Here's the recipe as Golda taught me. Enough for about 6 hungry people or 8 if this is a side dish.
oil
2 raw eggs, somewhat mixed like for scrambled eggs
4 cups cooked white rice
1/2 tsp (?) ground ginger
1/2 tsp (?) garlic powder
2 tsp (?) soy sauce
3-4 Tbl (?) teriyaki sauce
4-5 scallions, sliced diagonally into 1/4" sections
1 cup frozen peas, run under hot water in a colander for a moment until thawed and warmed
1 good handful bean sprouts
meat, if desired. For example 1 lb. cooked beef, chicken or pork cut onto bite sized chunks or 16-20 medium-sized, cooked shrimp.
In very large frying pan or preferably a wok, pour in a good amount of oil, say a few tablespoons. It has to go a long way. Heat oil up to very hot but not smoking. Pour in eggs and stir for just a second. They'll gradually break up and scramble properly as everything else is added and mixed in. Add rice, spices and sauces. Stir quickly and taste. Not salty enough? Add more Soy Sauce. Not sweet enough? Add more Teriyaki. Need more umph? Add more ginger or garlic. Seasonings must be to your taste. When seasonings are reasonably close, toss in meat, stir quickly 'till warm. Then, add scallions and peas, stirring again 'till warm. At very end, fold in sprouts. Adjust seasonings, if needed. Serve with Sweet & Sour Sauce.
Here are tricks to successful Asian cooking.
1) ALL INGREDIENTS MUST BE PREPARED, SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND READY TO GO PRIOR TO STARTING. In European-style cooking, there's always time to spare when cooking something like, oh... I don't know... let's say... beef stew. Just in case you forgot to chop the onions, it ultimately isn't too big a deal if they're added late or in the wrong order. In Asian cooking, speed and order is of the utmost importance. If your ingredients aren't ready prior to starting, everything else will overcook or burn while waiting for you to chop and cut. Speed, speed, speed is the essence to Asian cooking.
2) Also, add things which need more cooking or warming first and items which are just barely heated, last. In Fried Rice, everything, the rice, meat and veggies are just warmed and in fact. you don't want your sprouts to loose their crunch at all, so they get barely cooked whatsoever. So really, in a dish like this, the only thing which actually gets cooked at all are the eggs. Otherwise, everything else is about flavors mixing and food warming.
3) Precook almost everything then just mix really fast in the super-hot pan. That's what Asian cooking comes down to.
These aforementioned rules apply to pretty much most Asian dishes, regardless of the specific cultures. If you can get your organization and speed skills in place, no Asian inspired dish is off limits, at least according to Golda.
Yesterday, I made the kid Chinese fried rice for dinner. He liked it very much and asked me where I learned to make it. I told him the entire story, which he didn't believe. I'll tell you, too. I know that you will believe me.
I was living in a hut in Wisconsin in the 5th century B.C. and my neighbor,Golda Meir, visited me often just to gossip about this and that. But one particular day she was venting deeply to me about her new boyfriend, Confucius. Seems she was upset with him because Sinatra was on tour and Connie wouldn't buy tickets for the show merely because of Frankie's reputed lack of sophistication. You see, Connie was really into personal enrichment and Frankie just didn't appear to care about such things. And as Confucius was really preoccupied with wearing his ethics on his sleeve he had to boycott Sinatra. This really angered Golda because Frankie made her swoon.
So the next week, Golda came over to my place again and this time brought me some food that I'd never heard of. It was called Fried Rice. Apparently after venting to me she went over and had a blow out with Connie. So the next day, he tried to win Golda back by making her dinner. It was this fried rice stuff which he said his mother invented one day because she had some old, stale rice she wanted to use up. Well, my gosh that stuff was tasty! They ended-up making up, too. Partially because that rice was sooooo good and partially because Connie came down off his high horse and purchased Sinatra tickets.
That was simultaneously the beginning of the love affair between Jewish people and Chinese food.
Here's the recipe as Golda taught me. Enough for about 6 hungry people or 8 if this is a side dish.
oil
2 raw eggs, somewhat mixed like for scrambled eggs
4 cups cooked white rice
1/2 tsp (?) ground ginger
1/2 tsp (?) garlic powder
2 tsp (?) soy sauce
3-4 Tbl (?) teriyaki sauce
4-5 scallions, sliced diagonally into 1/4" sections
1 cup frozen peas, run under hot water in a colander for a moment until thawed and warmed
1 good handful bean sprouts
meat, if desired. For example 1 lb. cooked beef, chicken or pork cut onto bite sized chunks or 16-20 medium-sized, cooked shrimp.
In very large frying pan or preferably a wok, pour in a good amount of oil, say a few tablespoons. It has to go a long way. Heat oil up to very hot but not smoking. Pour in eggs and stir for just a second. They'll gradually break up and scramble properly as everything else is added and mixed in. Add rice, spices and sauces. Stir quickly and taste. Not salty enough? Add more Soy Sauce. Not sweet enough? Add more Teriyaki. Need more umph? Add more ginger or garlic. Seasonings must be to your taste. When seasonings are reasonably close, toss in meat, stir quickly 'till warm. Then, add scallions and peas, stirring again 'till warm. At very end, fold in sprouts. Adjust seasonings, if needed. Serve with Sweet & Sour Sauce.
Here are tricks to successful Asian cooking.
1) ALL INGREDIENTS MUST BE PREPARED, SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND READY TO GO PRIOR TO STARTING. In European-style cooking, there's always time to spare when cooking something like, oh... I don't know... let's say... beef stew. Just in case you forgot to chop the onions, it ultimately isn't too big a deal if they're added late or in the wrong order. In Asian cooking, speed and order is of the utmost importance. If your ingredients aren't ready prior to starting, everything else will overcook or burn while waiting for you to chop and cut. Speed, speed, speed is the essence to Asian cooking.
2) Also, add things which need more cooking or warming first and items which are just barely heated, last. In Fried Rice, everything, the rice, meat and veggies are just warmed and in fact. you don't want your sprouts to loose their crunch at all, so they get barely cooked whatsoever. So really, in a dish like this, the only thing which actually gets cooked at all are the eggs. Otherwise, everything else is about flavors mixing and food warming.
3) Precook almost everything then just mix really fast in the super-hot pan. That's what Asian cooking comes down to.
These aforementioned rules apply to pretty much most Asian dishes, regardless of the specific cultures. If you can get your organization and speed skills in place, no Asian inspired dish is off limits, at least according to Golda.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
A Benefit For Heights Arts
Page One Hundred Seventy-Five.
It's New Year's Day, and this morning I had a pleasant breakfast at Tommy's restaurant here in Cleveland Heights. Tommy's is a pretty famous local joint on Coventry Road. It dates back to the early '70's and was one of the first Cleveland-area spots to get onto the whole '70's/vegetarian/middle-Eastern/health food/lots of wooden decor band wagon. It's still around with few changes to the menu and is so famous in fact, that's it's appeared on The Food Network a number of times. Cleveland actually has a number of restaurants and chefs who are well-known to the Food Network and it's viewers. Tommy's is only one. For the record, it does serve meat of many varieties. But much of the meat is served un-American style, meaning: meat pies.
For the last decade or so, on New Years Day, Tommy's has been closed for regular business and instead has been open from 10AM to 2PM for a fund-raiser. $10.00 gets all you can eat of a traditional American breakfast: pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, juice and so forth. The place is packed. By 9.45AM, the waiting line is out the door and, if heaven forbid, you show up after 11, you'll wait an hour for a table.
On January 1st, 2013, one of my buddies phoned me at 9 and declared that he was already first in line. Did I want to join him? I politely passed, explaining that even though the place is 500 feet from my apartment, and I could literally show up in my PJ's, there was no way on this or any other planet I was getting out of a nice warm bed on a cold morning. This year, that same friend gave me advanced warning. A few weeks ago he began preparing me for today's predawn (9.15AM) phone call. He was first in line again and eagerly awaiting my arrival. I managed to show up 20 minutes later, just seconds prior to the multitudes of humanity. We were sitting, drinking coffee, just a wee bit later.
None of Tommy's workers on New Year's Day are regular employees. All are volunteers from Cleveland Heights city hall, the Cleveland Heights Teachers Union and other local civic organizations as all the proceeds from the benefit go to a local arts organization entitled Heights Arts.
Cleveland Heights has a preponderance of artists and art enthusiasts among it's population. It's a somewhat sophisticated community and the artsy-fartsy people have organized themselves into this well-respected civic organization. Heights Arts has a Lee Road storefront where local artists sell their wares and where anybody can pop in and find out what's going on in Cleveland's surprisingly well-organized arts community. In fact, much of Cleveland's arts community is organized around the Cleveland Museum of Art which is among the world's top tier art museums and also the Cleveland Institute of Art which is commonly considered one of America's finest art schools. Both of these institutions are seconds from Cleveland Heights' western border.
So this morning I did my part. I let a friend donate $10.00 in my name to Heights Arts so I could eat pancakes and stuff. It was a nice way to start the new year. For dinner tonight, I'll be back on Coventry, with another friend at Hunan's. Then after dinner, I have a party to go to. It'll be a nice day. Last night, I rang out the old year at a rib joint directly across the street from the beauty salon I manage over on Lee Road. I'd never been there before and got a burger. It wasn't bad and the accompanying salad was really good; I want to go back and try their ribs sometime. I'll get back to you on that one.
It's New Year's Day, and this morning I had a pleasant breakfast at Tommy's restaurant here in Cleveland Heights. Tommy's is a pretty famous local joint on Coventry Road. It dates back to the early '70's and was one of the first Cleveland-area spots to get onto the whole '70's/vegetarian/middle-Eastern/health food/lots of wooden decor band wagon. It's still around with few changes to the menu and is so famous in fact, that's it's appeared on The Food Network a number of times. Cleveland actually has a number of restaurants and chefs who are well-known to the Food Network and it's viewers. Tommy's is only one. For the record, it does serve meat of many varieties. But much of the meat is served un-American style, meaning: meat pies.
Tommy's, when it isn't 20 degrees outside. |
For the last decade or so, on New Years Day, Tommy's has been closed for regular business and instead has been open from 10AM to 2PM for a fund-raiser. $10.00 gets all you can eat of a traditional American breakfast: pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, juice and so forth. The place is packed. By 9.45AM, the waiting line is out the door and, if heaven forbid, you show up after 11, you'll wait an hour for a table.
On January 1st, 2013, one of my buddies phoned me at 9 and declared that he was already first in line. Did I want to join him? I politely passed, explaining that even though the place is 500 feet from my apartment, and I could literally show up in my PJ's, there was no way on this or any other planet I was getting out of a nice warm bed on a cold morning. This year, that same friend gave me advanced warning. A few weeks ago he began preparing me for today's predawn (9.15AM) phone call. He was first in line again and eagerly awaiting my arrival. I managed to show up 20 minutes later, just seconds prior to the multitudes of humanity. We were sitting, drinking coffee, just a wee bit later.
None of Tommy's workers on New Year's Day are regular employees. All are volunteers from Cleveland Heights city hall, the Cleveland Heights Teachers Union and other local civic organizations as all the proceeds from the benefit go to a local arts organization entitled Heights Arts.
Cleveland Heights has a preponderance of artists and art enthusiasts among it's population. It's a somewhat sophisticated community and the artsy-fartsy people have organized themselves into this well-respected civic organization. Heights Arts has a Lee Road storefront where local artists sell their wares and where anybody can pop in and find out what's going on in Cleveland's surprisingly well-organized arts community. In fact, much of Cleveland's arts community is organized around the Cleveland Museum of Art which is among the world's top tier art museums and also the Cleveland Institute of Art which is commonly considered one of America's finest art schools. Both of these institutions are seconds from Cleveland Heights' western border.
Heights Arts, also when it isn't 20 degrees outside. |
So this morning I did my part. I let a friend donate $10.00 in my name to Heights Arts so I could eat pancakes and stuff. It was a nice way to start the new year. For dinner tonight, I'll be back on Coventry, with another friend at Hunan's. Then after dinner, I have a party to go to. It'll be a nice day. Last night, I rang out the old year at a rib joint directly across the street from the beauty salon I manage over on Lee Road. I'd never been there before and got a burger. It wasn't bad and the accompanying salad was really good; I want to go back and try their ribs sometime. I'll get back to you on that one.
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