How To Make Fried Rice

     Page One Hundred Seventy-Six.
     Yesterday, I made the kid Chinese fried rice for dinner. He liked it very much and asked me where I learned to make it. I told him the entire story, which he didn't believe. I'll tell you, too. I know that you will believe me.
     I was living in a hut in Wisconsin in the 5th century B.C. and my neighbor,Golda Meir, visited me often just to gossip about this and that. But one particular day she was venting deeply to me about her new boyfriend, Confucius. Seems she was upset with him because Sinatra was on tour and Connie wouldn't buy tickets for the show merely because of Frankie's reputed lack of sophistication. You see, Connie was really into personal enrichment and Frankie just didn't appear to care about such things. And as Confucius  was really preoccupied with wearing his ethics on his sleeve he had to boycott Sinatra. This really angered Golda because Frankie made her swoon.
     So the next week, Golda came over to my place again and this time brought me some food that I'd never heard of. It was called Fried Rice. Apparently after venting to me she went over and had a blow out with Connie. So the next day, he tried to win Golda back by making her dinner. It was this fried rice stuff which he said his mother invented one day because she had some old, stale rice she wanted to use up. Well, my gosh that stuff was tasty! They ended-up making up, too. Partially because that rice was sooooo good and partially because Connie came down off his high horse and purchased Sinatra tickets.
     That was simultaneously the beginning of the love affair between Jewish people and Chinese food.
     Here's the recipe as Golda taught me. Enough for about 6 hungry people or 8 if this is a side dish.
oil
2 raw eggs, somewhat mixed like for scrambled eggs
4 cups cooked white rice
1/2 tsp (?) ground ginger
1/2 tsp (?) garlic powder
2 tsp (?) soy sauce
3-4 Tbl (?) teriyaki sauce
4-5 scallions, sliced diagonally into 1/4" sections
1 cup frozen peas, run under hot water in a colander for a moment until thawed and warmed
1 good handful bean sprouts
meat, if desired. For example 1 lb. cooked beef, chicken or pork cut onto bite sized chunks or 16-20 medium-sized, cooked shrimp.
     In very large frying pan or preferably a wok, pour in a good amount of oil, say a few tablespoons. It has to go a long way. Heat oil up to very hot but not smoking. Pour in eggs and stir for just a second. They'll gradually break up and scramble properly as everything else is added and mixed in. Add rice, spices and sauces. Stir quickly and taste. Not salty enough? Add more Soy Sauce. Not sweet enough? Add more Teriyaki. Need more umph? Add more ginger or garlic. Seasonings must be to your taste. When seasonings are reasonably close, toss in meat, stir quickly 'till warm. Then, add scallions and peas, stirring again 'till warm. At very end, fold in sprouts. Adjust seasonings, if needed. Serve with Sweet & Sour Sauce.
     Here are tricks to successful Asian cooking.
     1) ALL INGREDIENTS MUST BE PREPARED, SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND READY TO GO PRIOR TO STARTING. In European-style cooking, there's always time to spare when cooking something like, oh... I don't know... let's say... beef stew. Just in case you forgot to chop the onions, it ultimately isn't too big a deal if they're added late or in the wrong order. In Asian cooking, speed and order is of the utmost importance. If your ingredients aren't ready prior to starting, everything else will overcook or burn while waiting for you to chop and cut. Speed, speed, speed is the essence to Asian cooking.
     2) Also, add things which need more cooking or warming first and items which are just barely heated, last. In Fried Rice, everything, the rice, meat and veggies are just warmed and in fact. you don't want your sprouts to loose their crunch at all, so they get barely cooked whatsoever. So really, in a dish like this, the only thing which actually gets cooked at all are the eggs. Otherwise, everything else is about flavors mixing and food warming.
     3) Precook almost everything then just mix really fast in the super-hot pan. That's what Asian cooking comes down to.
     These aforementioned rules apply to pretty much most Asian dishes, regardless of the specific cultures. If you can get your organization and speed skills in place, no Asian inspired dish is off limits, at least according to Golda.