What's The Hurry?

     Page Seventy-Five.
     I baby-sat a lot as a teenager, for a variety of ages and genders. I was a live-in nanny to two pre-school girls for one and a half years while in my twenties. Then, I was a live-in nanny to three teenaged boys for eight years, also while in my twenties and early thirties. Fast forward fourteen years. Six years ago I nannied two early-teenaged girls for a year. Five years ago I nannied two other mid-teen girls for a year and a half. Four years ago I started nannying two preteen boys for the next couple of years and two and a half years ago, I began nannying a family with four kids: a girl who's now away at college and three boys who are entering their teen and preteen years. (And, just a reminder: I'm a boy.)
     Nobody's ever asked me, but if an average, American parent ever requested just one suggestion on parenting, I'd say: "don't be in a hurry for your kids to grow up".
     Savor the crazy, dysfunctional, overly energetic times which comprise your child's early years. Enjoy the noise and the fighting. Appreciate the fun of watching your children pretend they're playing on Mars. Because, one of these days those kids will be grown and gone. There'll be no more noise and running and playing. Many, not all, but many parents miss that.
     As the youngest of your kids drives off to her first year of college, a part of you goes with her. The part that got to teach her about manners and charity. The part that soothed her knee and kissed her after she fell off the jungle gym. The part that scolded her after she lied about doing her homework. Now, as she drives off, you're left with two things: all those memories and all the worry in the world that she'll be safe and sound. You can't take care of her anymore. When she was little you could. Her concerns and fears were so simple, like falling off a jungle gym. Now, you can only pray that she's secure, happy and that the values you attempted to instill in her actual took hold.
     In the mid-nineties, a small book was written called, "Life's Little Instruction Book". It was a series of suggestions and thoughts that a father wrote for his his college bound son. One of the thoughts was, "right now your mother misses you". That's so true and kids and young parents don't realize it until it's too late. Kids can't be blamed for not realizing how much their parents miss them. And young parents tend to be oblivious to how fast the time will really go by. Of course this is human nature. The brain simply can't grasp all that can happen over the course of a future eighteen years. And eighteen years seems so far away anyhow.
     But most children really will grow up and move out. And from birth to college there'll be many fights and disappointments and dramas and poor grades and romantic break-ups and shocks and unsavory friends and poor decisions and sarcasm and unappetizing table manners and experimentation with chemicals and disagreements galore. But there will also be unbounded joy. One of the greatest gifts that humans have is the gift of gratitude. As long as we are grateful for the many joyous moments of our childrens' early years and and then commit those moments to memory we will be blessed.
     Until the grand-kids show up, there will be no more pillow fights. There will be no more jumping on the bed (and breaking it). There will be no more lemonade stands. There will be no more indoor forts. There will just be peace and quiet. It's not all it's cracked up to be.