Birth Of A Nation - A Review

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Six.
     I was in a terribly foul mood last weekend because my landlord decided to cut down most of the mature evergreen trees which dotted the apartment building I live in. I loved those trees. I felt like someone had tossed an axe through my chest when I came home and saw the homicide scene. So to deal with my temporary deep depression, I watched the movie Birth Of A Nation. I figured I was already in such an awful mood, nothing else could possibly make it worse. And I've been wanting to see this movie since I was a teenager anyhow, which is when I first heard of it.
     BOAN was made in 1915 and is considered the first full-length motion picture. All cinema prior was 20 minutes or shorter, so character development and plot was very simplistic and understated. D.W. Griffith, BOAN's director, had already made many of these short movies and was quite adept at technique and style; and if he were working today, he'd probably be an Oscar-winnining director. In fact, I'm sure that any 2014 college film class still spends much lecture time on him and this flick. The technical advancements of this film are numerous and important.

Birth Of A Nation - the Klan vs. the rapists

     BOAN has many elements of any modern blockbuster: war, battle, blood, dancing, heroes, bad guys, horses, romance, etc. In a nutshell, the plot is  the story of the pre-civil war era, the civil war itself and reconstruction: essentially 1855-1875, or so, in South Carolina. However, it also contains a brand of  racism which is so over the top that it raised eyebrows even BACK THEN!!! The NAACP which was 6 years old at the time, went on a rampage over this movie. Lawsuits attempting to ban the movie started immediately. President Wilson, watching the movie in the White House, BOAN being the first movie screening there, allegedly said, "it is like writing history with lightning".
     D.W. Griffith, a southerner who's father was a Confederate officer, made a movie which is so gruesome in its portrayal of African-Americans and Northerners, it's like the history of Israel being written by Osama Bin Laden, literally. The second half of BOAN illustrates how and why the Ku Klux Klan was born: to protect all white people, even northerners, and happy, meek, black servants, from the multitudes of newly-freed, gun-totting, swaggering black rapists. Imagine how extreme racism would have to be, to be considered unsuitable, even in World War I era America and you have BOAN.
     The response surprised Griffith. He claimed that he simply had no idea what he was saying while creating this film. His follow up spectacle, Intolerance, made in 1916, was his apology and is about just exactly that: intolerance of any people based upon their race or creed. I saw that lavish movie sometime during the 1990's and it's also fantastic. And here-in lies the conflict for any cinephile trying to review BOAN based upon it's merit as a flick and not as a political statement: good luck. Pretty much all reviewers and film historians believe it to be one of the 100 most important movies ever made, based upon it's artistic and technical achievements.

The stage set built for Intolerance

     I'm VERY used to watching ancient, silent, black & white flicks, so I was okay with all those elements. (The day before starting BOAN, I watched The Iron Horse, 1925, just wonderful. Perhaps I'll talk on that movie another time.) My biggest artistic problem with BOAN was the length: 3 hours 15 minutes. Griffith's inability to edit was almost as bad as his resentment at the North for winning the Civil War. But the editing problem not-withstanding, this is a movie worth watching and even owning a copy of if you're an extremely serious movie buff (which I am if anybody wants to give me a copy for my birthday, November 21st).
     Birth Of A Nation. My score: 10/10

Quito. Chapter 13. Some Unlikely Help

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Five.
     Quito was dry as a beige pterodactyl bone when Henry Mancini's very pink and instantly recognizable theme to Breakfast At Tiffany's, Moon River, started. (In fact, it was a massive hit song in the early 1960's when the movie came out. Just everybody knew it.) But more to the point, Quito needed to know who or what could aid him in getting out of this jam. So he was grateful for his Mancini-powered ESP to provide a little help. He wished he could break free by himself, but the leashes were just too strong and there were 7 hench-poodles plus our villain. Also, he knew that asking for help when needing it or accepting it when offered was good for the soul. And really, who would be impressed by a dog getting loose all by himself? Lord knows, they do it all the time anyhow.
     So with Mancini's music playing on the TV, and the other dogs all working hard on their project, our dog used his ESP to find out who'd scare Wanda the most. He concentrated hard, real hard, to get into Wanda's brain and discover who'd really freak her out. When he felt her deepest fears, he barked "are you kidding me?" to himself. He just couldn't believe whom she was scared of. In fact, he actually felt like laughing at her for having this most silly fear. But he knew how mean it would be to laugh. He wouldn't like it if somebody laughed at him for being scared of something. He knew, for example, that some people are scared of the Wicked Witch from the Wizard Of Oz. It not nice for people or dogs to judge each other about their fears. So he just said to himself  "whatever". But he also thought, "this explains a lot."
     Then he went into his brain and concentrated on materializing the help...
     He heard them singing from outside while marching.

Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho!

We're here to save Quito,

Our furry friend,

From a dreadful end,

Heigh Ho!Heigh Ho! 

     And with that, the little door in the corner opened and marching down the stairs and into the room came the Seven Dwarfs ready to kick some poodle butt.
Continued Next Week... Chapter 14. The Fight.

Jersey Boys - A Review

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Four.

     I saw Jersey Boys the other day. It was everything you've heard. Colorful, musical, splashy, loud, funny, slightly boring and somewhat flat. I think the problem is that everybody has seen the play. When you see a play where the audience has such strong, old, positive associations with the music and indeed stands up during the finale/encore and sings along, no movie experience can compare. That was one of the problems with Momma Mia - the movie also. Half the fun of these performances is playing along with the stage actors.
     I'll tell you my biggest problem with Jersey Boys - the movie, though. I'm a freak for anachronistic detail. If any of the styling in a movie or play is incorrect to the year, I spot it instantly. I noticed some of that in this movie, both with background music, arrangements of centerpiece music, clothing style and hair style. At one point I was truly confused as to when the given scene was supposed to be taking place, the background music was SO incorrect to the year.
     Just for the fun, music and entertainment, go see the movie. But don't expect to be blown away. And if you haven't seen the play, please don't avoid it based upon this movie. Go see it if it's ever performed by your local high school. You'll enjoy it.
Jersey Boys - 6/10. 

A Dance Contest & Oops, My Page Numbers Are Out Of Order

     Page Two Hundred Fifty.

     First things first. I accidentally skipped page 250. I can't believe I did that. But, oh, well. So, we'll have page 250 now. There. Easily fixed. No worries. Now, onto other issues.
     I think I've mentioned before that I attend a lot of dance performances and took much dance when I was younger. Last night was a new one though... I was asked to judge a local, amateur "Dancing With The Stars". A Cleveland-based liturgical dance company had this as the theme for their 30th anniversary and fund-raiser and asked me to be one of the "celebrity" judges. (I think that's one of the most laughable things on the planet. But, whatever. I'll admit what many accept as fact: I get around; a lot of people know me. But celebrity? Well... that's the type of thing which might go to my head. But I digress.)
     Liturgical Dance is otherwise known as Praise Dance and is a well-developed aspect of African-American church life. Besides representing prayer and praise in movement, liturgical dance also tells of the African-American struggle. When done well, it can be powerful to watch. I can't say that I'm very knowledgeable about this type of dance but I'm acquainted with this particular company, Duffy Liturgical Dance, Duffy-Lit for short, and am personally fond of the founder/choreographer, Edna Duffy. When she phoned a month ago asking for my help, I said "Sure".   
     There was a ballroom in the Intercontinental Hotel on the main Cleveland Clinic campus, six teams of dancers, six judges, Rock 'n Roll and Rhythm & Blues music, good food and lots of fun. I'm afraid I was the Simon Cowell of the evening, but someone had to be. Also, I wasn't the only white person in the room. White Jew? Yes. White person? No. There were 3 others. Additionally, I feel like I made some good, new contacts. (That's one thing I do well at these types of events - network, network, network.) There were some rather high-profile Clevelanders in that room. A few of them now have my e-mail address. Good. 
     Unfortunately, it wasn't very well attended. They unknowingly planned the event on the same night as the Cleveland Museum of Art's Summer Solstice Party. I've talked about that party in  past blogs, so I won't re-hash it. But suffice it to say, the Solstice party, which this year was expanded to 6000 and still sold out 12 weeks(?) in advance and is 1 mile from the Intercontinental, possibly ate into our audience. This was also my first time missing the Solstice party in 5 years, I think. Sad... especially considering the fact that this year I could have just flashed my employee badge and walked right in.
     If there's another DuffyLit Dancing With The Stars in 2015, I'm sure they won't have it on such a high-octane evening. It was very fun and I wish there had been hundreds of people attending. They would've enjoyed it.   
    

Lars And The Real Girl - A Movie Review

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Three.

     I recently watched Lars And The Real Girl again and it's a really great movie. I don't know why Ryan Gosling wasn't nominated for an Oscar for playing the title role, though he was nominated for a Golden Globe. 
     This tender comedy-drama came out in 2007 and I saw it in the theater, then liked it so much that I purchased it. In a nutshell, this is the story of a 27 year old loner who's so desperate for female companionship that he humanizes a love-doll and treats her like a real person. To humor him, the other townsfolk treat her as human too.
     This is a very upbeat, quirky, easy to overlook comedy. But it would brighten any dark day. Caveat: if you're uncomfortable with movies about serious mental illness, skip this flick.
I give it a 9/10.

Quito. Chapter 12. A Boo-Boo

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Two.
     The scene was like something out of Frankenstein. First of all, Quito looked like a wet, gray rat since the hench-poodles had  been spraying him with a clear water bottle to keep his powers at bay. Second, he was harnessed up to a tan and brown corduroy sofa which had been out of style for 30 years. Third, the pink and purple TV camera-looking thing was aimed right at his furry, dog chest. Fourth, the small black and white TV was now very close; just on the other side of the sofa and it was showing some old flick on one of the classic movie channels. Fifth, there were all sorts of electronics strewn about here and there. There were violet, red and blue wires and yellow, green and orange cables everywhere, hooking components together. It was just a colorful ball of confusion. And furthermore, he still was trying to figure out why the odor of the room was so familiar. It was some kind of sunshiney-lemon cleaning solution that he'd smelled before, but for all he was worth, he just couldn't figure out where.
     Quito heard Wanda in the corner give the hench-poodles lots of instructions which kept them preoccupied. But he couldn't make out any of her directions 'cause the TV was so loud. She also seemed to be off her own world. "She seems off her own world", he woofed to himself. It was as if she didn't even notice him, how he was quickly drying off, the TV or anything else, for she was so involved in her project of sending him into the parallel universe next door. She was just barking orders to the poodles over and over and not paying any attention to what was going around her.
     Quito was observing all this while out of the corner of his eye was simultaneously watching TV. After all, he needed something to do since it takes no energy to be tied up to a sofa. (This isn't to say that Quito wasn't scared. Of course he was. But in addition to being scared, he was also a bit bored and antsy.)
     The movie ended which was good because he didn't understand it at all. It was about some computer named HAL from a long time ago, the years 2001 to be exact, up in outer space. But then, the ending didn't have anything to do with anything else. The whole thing just didn't make any sense and frustrated Quito terribly. After the flick ended, the movie host talked for a while about how it inspired everybody. But, Quito didn't feel inspired at all. He felt confused.
     Then after a few commercials, the host was back and began talking about Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard, whomever they were. Then he began talking about a guy named Truman Capote and some book he wrote which was entitled Breakfast At Tiffany's and how a director, Blake Edwards, turned that book into the movie which would start in a moment. When Quito heard the phrase "Breakfast At Tiffany's" he realized that Wanda had made a gigantic boo-boo by leaving the TV on a classic movie channel and then not even paying enough attention to realize what she'd done.
     Then the movie started. The logo for Paramount Pictures appeared and then there was a scene of a taxi driving down the street. The music began and Quito, now dry as a bone, knew he'd be just fine.
     Continued next week... Quito. Chapter 13. Some Unlikely Help.

What Casey Kasem Gave Me

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-One.

     I found myself feeling very sad over the loss of Mr. Kasem. I listened to his show every week when I was younger and learned a lot from it.
     Some people consider me to have an unnatural knowledge of entertainment trivia from the 1910's-1990's. Much of that was inspired by listening to the weekly countdown each Sunday. Casey's show inspired me to want more information than just the obvious. And not only that, but that desire was okay.
     Contemporary American culture sometimes teaches that it's uncool to know history and it's effects on today. The AT40 taught the the opposite. Thanks Casey. 

Lobster Newburg

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Nine.

     Believe it or not, Lobster Newburg is just small lobster chunks in a sherry-cream sauce, served over toast. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. If you can make a moderately thin cream sauce, (think chicken a la king style) just do it, adding some sherry to thin. Then add your pre-cooked lobster chunks and serve over really great bread which is hot from the toaster and cut into triangles. Look up specific recipes on the net, but really it's that easy and simple. And scrumpdilyicious.  
     
    

Quito. Chapter 11. A Glimmer Of Hope.

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Eight.
     Meanwhile, back at the ranch... the kids were freaking out. "I'm freaking out", declared William. "Where could Quito be? Dudes, where could that Wanda be hiding him? This whole thing is a real bummer."
     "This is a rather dubious situation", confirmed Thomas.
     "Yeah. I don't like the way things are looking", added Jackson.
     "Affirmative", piped little baby Jordan.
     "Well, what are we going to do?", asked Jackson. "Wait, I know", he declared, answering his own question. "We need to call people and tell them what's going on. If we have enough people looking for him, then maybe we'll get some results."
     So that's exactly what they did. The four of them brainstormed a long list of various people and agencies who might be able to help, and one by one the kids spent all day making phone calls. In order, William got on his Winnie the Pooh phone and called the local agencies: the Mayor's office and the Shaker Heights police and fire departments. He also called Shaker Heights Country Club, Canterbury Country Club, Shaker Heights animal control and the city kennel thinking that it couldn't hurt. Additionally, he phoned the Cuyahoga County Executive's office and the Northeast Ohio Regional Sewer District, again, just in case.
     Thomas used his Mickey Mouse phone and took on the state and national agencies: the governors office; the FBI; the CIA; the marines, army, navy and air force; the National Guard; the White House; NASA; the Secret Service and Coast Guard.
     Jackson used his Scooby-Doo phone to make the international calls as he was the one who was most well-connected with people in really high places. He phoned the GRU (Glavnoye Razvedyvatel'noye Upravleniye); Scotland Yard, Mossad; The IDF (Israel Defense Force); The Royal Canadian Mounted Police; BND (Bundesnachrichtendienst); Interpol and MI6 (British Secret Intelligence Service). (Seriously, Jackson was REALLY well-connected.)
     Meanwhile, Jordan, on her Richard Nixon phone, contacted people and organizations whom we wouldn't normally think of, but you just never know... Michelle Obama; Prince George; FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association); Bill Gates; The IOC (International Olympic Committee); Lady Gaga; Kim Jong Un; Pope Francis and Greenpeace. (Jordan was well-connected, too.)
     They spent all day contacting people. People was very sympathetic, understanding and helpful, too. So helpful, in fact, that everybody whom they spoke with generated plans and ideas together to find and free Quito. Kim Jong Un and MI6 came up with one plan together. Lady Gaga, BND, Prince George and the Sewer District came up with another plan. Greenpeace and the city kennel came up with yet another plan. And many other ideas were tossed around as well. Many people had glimmers of hope and they tried to calm the children down.
     Spending the day on the phone wore the children out. Their necks hurt very badly from the phone cradling and their hands were cramped from the dialing and writing out of ideas. By dinnertime they only wanted to go to bed and then wake up to the smell of Quito making some fresh, dark-roast Columbian decaffeinated coffee, sweetened with brown sugar and lightened with scalded whole milk.
     They could barely keep their eyes open long enough to gulp down the Lobster Newburg which William had whipped up. He even had to put Jimi Hendrix on the Victrola just to keep them awake while eating. They all went to sleep very upset and nearly crying as they were so sad because they missed their black and white, furry buddy.
     Continued Next Week... Quito Chapter 12. A Boo-Boo.  

Great Oatmeal Tricks

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Seven.
     Want to know how to dress up oatmeal when you're still asleep and can't think clearly? Here are some little hints.

     1) Add a tablespoon of bran to each serving of oatmeal while cooking. You'll also have to add a touch more water, too. This extra fiber adds nutrition and also makes the bowl of deliciousness more filling; thereby, keeping you from craving your next meal for a longer duration.
     2) Add some craisins, raisins, chopped dates, walnuts, pecans, pistachios or whatever you like while cooking. Again, add a little extra water. Be prepared, the cooking process will reconstitute the dried fruit and it will be warm, gooey, ooey and yummy. All these items will add even more healthful bulk, to keep you full longer. If adding the tree nuts, you'll get that much more protein.
     3) Add cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger or cardamom. Add vanilla extract or other extracts:  almond, orange, lemon, mint, butter rum, etc. while cooking. Pure flavor.
     4) Add brown sugar while cooking. There's no law against a little sweetness and malty flavor.
     5) After cooking, add maple syrup or table syrup. What was that about no law against sweetness?
     6) Top with finely diced fresh fruit like apples. Or toss on some berries, bananas or... why the possibilities are endless. Sprinkle on some crunchy granola. Yum
     7) Top with milk. This increases the protein, of course, and also if you didn't add enough cooking water, the milk will fill in the moisture gaps. This protein and calcium also makes it a complete and balanced meal.
     8) Prepare all the dry ingredients the night before. Put everything into the sauce pan and cover with the lid. Refrigerate or not, who cares? Then, when you arise in the morning, there's no thought involved. Just add the liquids, cook slowly for 5 minutes and chow down.
     9) For example, Orange Creamsicle Oatmeal: vanilla extract, orange extract, grated orange rind, white sugar and milk. Or Lemon-Poppy Oatmeal. Or Butter-Rum Oatmeal with extra butter added. Or Sweet Green Tea Oatmeal made with green tea instead of water. That would be good with cardamom, honey and chopped dates. Hawaiian Oatmeal cooked with a combination of water and pineapple juice and topped with more pineapple, sweetened coconut, chopped walnuts or almonds, coconut milk and topped with a marachino cherry. Come up with your own combinations. Anything you can create and cook at home will be substantially healthier than a McMuffin, doughnut or something prepared straight from a box in the freezer. 
     10) Remember, always add that bran to increase the nutrition.

Quito. Chapter 10. Wanda's Hide-Out

     Two Hundred Forty-Six.
     As Quito slowly came to, he was very groogy and didn't understand what had happened to him. Then, he realized that he'd been dog-napped and was being held in a kennel which was far too small. But he was barely able to get up and walk around in a tight little circle before settling down again. He looked around and saw Wanda's henchmen, or rather, hench-poodles, playing video games. They were playing Minecraft and apparently having the time of their lives as they didn't notice that he'd woken up from the chemicals they'd used to put him to sleep. Also, he was always in a bad mood when he first woke up; he didn't like to talk with people at all first thing in the morning. Typically the only thing that made him happy at sunrise was a big bowl of oatmeal. He especially loved it when it was dressed up with lots of fruit and other sweet stuff. But he had the feeling that his captors weren't good cooks, He found out that he was correct about their lack of cooking expertise much sooner than he would have preferred.
     One of the poodles just happened to look over and noticed that Quito was awake. "He's awake" the small black dog yipped to the other six canines.
     "Well, let's give him something to eat", yapped an all white poodle who's hair was cut to look like a fancy bush in your garden; he even had ribbons on him. (Actually, you sort of had to feel sorry for the little guy, even if he was an evil hench-poodle. He looked like he just stepped out of a French beauty salon and his name should be Fifi.) Then a couple of the others got up, went to a corner of the room, put some things in a bowl, brought it over and slipped it into the cage. Our hero began eating and realized that it was old, stale Rice Krispies with no extra sugar or strawberries. Also, the milk was beginning to turn sour. It was just awful. The meal was not fit for a king, he thought. But being well-mannered and polite, he ate what was offered to him. Quito knew that being a gracious guest was just as important as being a gracious host and that included eating what was presented to him while a prisoner in a villain's secret hide-out. But while attempting to consume this most horrible meal, he was also looking around and trying to figure out where he was and how to get out.
     The room appeared to be in a basement. He could figure this out because he saw three windows across the top of the walls. And looking out of the windows, he saw grass and plants, so he knew he was looking up front underground. Additionally, the windows had thick, black, metal bars on them. So, whatever was inside, stayed inside; and whatever was outside, stayed outside. The walls were old, dirty brick and the floor was gray concrete. It was a little messy, but he'd seen worse. He noticed something else though. The odor was somewhat familiar. He couldn't place it, but he'd definitely smelled this odor before. It wasn't a bad odor, in fact, it smelled like a cleaning solution of some type.
     "Well, well, well. How nice to see you again, Quito. I trust our accommodations, though not fancy, meet your lowest expectations?" Quito saw Wanda entering the room from a very small door in the corner. For the quick moment that the tiny door was opened, he could see sunlight streaming down a flight of stairs leading to this delicate opening.
     "Wanda, you can do whatever you want to me, but I will not be your spokesdog!"
     "How quaint. You think that's why I've doggie-napped you? Not at all. I've decided to eliminate you. I'm done trying to get you in my ads. Now I'm just going to use you as an example to make sure that nobody ever says NO! to me ever again. I'm going to make sure you never say anything to anybody else ever again. You see Quito, I have powers of my own that you don't know about. I'm sending you into a parallel universe which is right next door. And you're going to live there forever. And not only that, but I'm going to make sure that you only ever watch commercials in the other universe. I'm going to transport you with an old-fashioned, small screen, square TV and arrange it so that whenever a real show comes on, the channel will automatically switch and you'll be back to watching commercials for medicine, carpet and banks for ever and ever and ever."
     "Spot, you and Fido walk Quito over to the sofa in the corner and use a leash to tie him up there. Prince, Rusty, Skipper and Ruff, you bring the Universal Alternator up from storage. Bingo you make some kibble to nibble while we're transforming Quito." 
     One hour and seventeen minutes later Quito was leashed up to the sofa and a big pink and purple contraption that looked a little like a television camera was aiming right toward his chest. On the other side of the room was the dingiest little TV you ever saw and all sorts of wires and cables were connecting it to the pink and purple contraption. Our hero was concerned. He couldn't see a way out.
    Continued next week... Chapter 11. A Glimmer of Hope.

How Unfortunate

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Five.
     A few weeks ago in this blog I mentioned that I'd decided to put myself on care.com in hopes of finding a new nanny position. I filled out the application, getting, according to them "71%" done.  I paid $60 for a background check, wrote my experience, posted my photo, lined up some references and so forth. Everything I posted to my bio was properly approved by the company.
     A female co-worker who'd gotten work through them encouraged me to post myself on this website as she thought they'd beat a path to my door what with my resume and all. In fact, a few people in the recent past encouraged me to do it. I'd assumed any agency would laugh at me 'cause I'm a male. "No, go on and do it. They'll love you 'cause of all your experience", everybody said.
     So last Friday, I applied for my first job, watching a newborn and a toddler - part-time, a job I feel very confident about. Later in the day, I received an e-mail from care.com saying that they'd dismissed me, with no reason given. In this "form letter" they said that it's their right to dismiss anybody at any time, and they'd inform anybody who I'd been in contact with that they'd let me go. What in the world?
     I knew it! I assume what happened is this mommy received my e-mail of interest, saw I was a guy, freaked out, assuming I was a child molester and contacted the company. That's all I can guess. If this isn't sexism I don't know what is. Society just refuses to think that men can watch children. And by society, I mean modern-day mommies and daddies. I don't care if they claim to be on the political left or right, the vast bulk of modern-American parents flatly refuse to acknowledge any possibility that men can care for children as much as women can. That disgusts me. 
     Further more, I can't tell you how many adds I saw that said "must love kids" right in the add. Why would anybody need to put that in a nanny-wanted post? I don't get why anybody would pick a profession like child-care unless they adored children. I think that's one of those jobs that someone wouldn't even approach without a very strong care-giving personality profile already in place.
     How unfortunate that people think that males are only able to do certain jobs and females are only able to do others. With no overlap. And we think we've come so far.