Tater Tots

     Page Seven.
     What would the current world situation be if not for the invention of Tater Tots? I think that Tater Tots have much more to do with the current global economy, the split of the two Koreas and Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" than we may realize.
     Taters were invented in the early 1950's and gradually gained in popularity until they became a pop culture staple by about the 70's or so. I ate my first one while in my twenties as my family did frozen french fries but not frozen tots. I prepared my first batch while being a live-in Nanny for the Shapiro boys, then I subsequently ate said Tot. They are one of the tastier imitation foods out there, I will admit. And as far as it goes, there isn't TOO much plastic involved in their production, it could be far worse.
     I first heard about the "Tot Casserole" in 2005 while at a convention for Activities Professionals. Some women at my table were talking about different versions of the casserole and I was stunned by the concept. Brown some ground beef and dump it in a casserole. Then pour on some Cream of Anything soup. Then pour on a bag of Tots. Finally, slice up some Velveeta and lay that on top. Shove the whole mess in the oven and bake till dead. This concept goes against everything I stand for as a private chef. Now honestly, I LOVE white trash food, I really do, and I recognize its necessary place in the world, but the Tot Casserole doesn't even sound good. Perhaps it's just me.
     While out with friends the other night, we ended up at a nice bar/restaurant here in Cleveland Heights, the rather sophisticated Cleveland suburb in which I reside. On the menu, this place has Tater Tots listed as their potato accompaniment instead of fries. They actually used the words Tater Tots which I'm positive are trademarked. I simply couldn't believe that. Upon research I discovered that some fast food joints also serve the Tot, but this was no fast food spot. So this place actually cooks a handful of real Tots and then charges five bucks for it; they make no false claims that these things are anything other than Tots which in the store are $3.59 a bag. What a fabulous way to get rich.
     We all know that Napoleon Dynamite is a fan of the tot. but he doesn't like them mashed.
     At a personal chef job I once had, I was occasionally asked to make real, home-made Tater Tots, as in: from scratch. They were the types of things my great grandmother might recognize as food, and they were pretty good too. They were a little bit of a hassle and slightly time consuming to prepare but they were quite tasty and well worth the time. (Actually, they were scrumpdelicious.) When I saw the restaurant menu the other day, I was expecting this to be the fare offered, but no. Real live honest to God Tots were on the plates. Whatever.
     So you see my friends, the evidence suggests that indeed Tater Tots are in fact partially responsible for Vanilla Ice's rise and fall. Nasa is still trying to discover if Tots have anything to do with Black Holes and Quasars.