Jeremy Gutow is a Cleveland-based male nanny and private chef. He also manages a beauty salon.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Mr. Hershey's Secret To Immoral Choco-Chip Cookies

     Page Ninety-One.
     It was a Tuesday afternoon in October and I was assisting my buddy, Romeo, as he was working on his newest invention: the computer. He was really frustrated. I was doing my best to try and keep him calm, but he was just off the charts with aggravation. (I wondered if this was how Bill Gates felt when he invented the disposable paper coffee cup?)
     Just to backtrack, Romeo was a close high school friend of mine and he was dating another friend, Juliet. They got along great but their parents couldn't stand each other. (Romeo's mother, Halle Berry, was an astrophysicist. She didn't get along with Juliet's father, Theodore Roosevelt, who was a quantum physicist. They had altering theories as to how to figure out how many universes exist.) Subsequently, Romeo and Juliet had to have a clandestine affair.
     Romeo and I had second period English class together and Juliet and I shared eighth period Life Skills class, so they would tell me what was going on. They also asked me to transmit messages to each other as their parents were monitoring their texts. (If they were even seen talking with each other, it would get back to their parents.) I didn't love being in the middle, but that's what happens sometimes. I really liked both of them, too.
     So anyhow, Romeo fancied himself an inventor. I was over his house assisting while he was working on his newest invention: this "computer" thing. I wasn't even sure what it was, but I knew that if Romeo was inventing it, it must be good. And he was just talking non-stop about Juliet. I warned him that he'd better be careful what he said in the house because, of course, walls have ears.
     All of a sudden, his father, Milton Hershey, walked in. I though for sure he'd heard us talking about Juliet but he acted normal. The reason that he'd come in was because he'd just made a batch of choco-chip cookies. I was hardly going to stop myself from gorging on choco-chip cookies made by Milton Hershey himself so I just inhaled those things. And they were beyond good. They were downright immoral.
     I asked Mr. Hershey what made them so good and he told me his primary secret was adding some almond extract. He added the same amount of almond extract as vanilla. He had a few other secrets too, which I'll share another time because they're complicated. But adding that little bit of almond is sooooo easy and sooooo good! I've never forgotten any of his other tricks either.
     A minute after leaving he came back in and told us that he'd heard us talking about Juliet. He said that he wouldn't tell Halle, but that if Romeo knew what was good for him, he'd better be careful. Mr. Hershey really was very understanding. Also, I think another reason he didn't care too much was because the family feud was primarily between his wife and Juliet's father. And, I later found out that Milton and Halle were having serious problems anyhow which would lead to a divorce when Romeo was in college (University of Hawaii). So he truly didn't care if his wife was double crossed anyhow. 
     Incidentally, Romeo never completely got his computer working. He eventually gave up and put his energies into learning how to paint. It paid off - he ended up painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. And, as it turned out, he and Juliet eventually broke up. What do you expect from a couple of teenagers? He got over his parents divorce quickly too. He'd been seeing it coming for years. He told me that he'd wondered why it hadn't occurred earlier.  

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