Jeremy Gutow is a Cleveland-based male nanny and private chef. He also manages a beauty salon.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Quito Chapter 5. Telling William And Thomas.

     Page Two Hundred Twenty-Six.
     So Quito went home and found William and Thomas tuckpointing the chimney. (Tuckpointing is when you make the mortar in between the bricks look really good.) Parents had been nagging them to do it for a couple of days, and now Will and Tom were finally getting around to it. (They had a very tight schedule, you know.) They continued to work on the dark, brown chimney as Quito began telling them about his cold-fusion super-powers. At first they didn't believe him. "I don't believe you", said William while mixing the cement with his trowel.
     "I don't believe you either, beguiling as your story is",  piped little Thomas as he lay the new mortar. But then Quito lifted up the new, lemon yellow Maserati in the driveway and carried it around in his paws as he flew around the bright, sunshiny backyard. After that little demonstration they just had to believe him, for heaven's sake. They were properly amazed as he told them everything.
     "So you have no idea whom the villains are when they'll come after you and attempt to neutralize your unearthly gifts?" squeaked Thomas.
     "Nope, nope, nope", woofed, woofed, woofed Quito after putting the Maserati back and then reclining on the chaise lounge and sipping some pink lemonade.
     "Well, you have us to protect you when they do show up", declared William.
                                                            ******************                                                                            Many Augusts came and went; six to be exact. Parents had 2 more beautiful, stylish and hip children, Jackson and Jordan. As soon as they were each born Quito told them of his powers, just so they wouldn't be surprised when they saw him flying around. In fact, even Parents got used to his powers. They had him replace the aging roof as he could do it without an aluminum ladder. And, they also had Quito make and install a new concrete counter top in the kids' bathroom because he was able to lift it himself.  Zachary, Judd and Nathanael continued to be nutty maniacs. But they were really kind, smart and nice. Also, their home was so beautiful that Architectural Digest came out and took photos for a spread entitled "Gorgeous Homes of Retired Eccentric Professors" Subsequently, all the neighbors overlooked their respective personality disorders. 
     One day in December of 2008 everybody was hanging out together. Quito was now 6, William was 9, Thomas 8, Jackson 2 and Jordan was a 1 year old toddler. They were eating a breakfast of ham and cheese omelets and homemade rye bread with orange marmalade all of which Jackson had made as he was refining his cooking skills. They were all concentrating on that day's New York Times, specifically a story about the effects of Gamma Rays on Man In The Moon Marigolds. Jordan was thinking that she'd like to study this type of thing when she went to university so she was just glued to the article as Jackson was reading aloud to everyone. The article ended and Jackson turned the page.
     He encountered an article entitled "Villain to start adding more commercials for salty & sugary snacks to children's TV programming." Seems that Miss Wanda Villain, heir to the great Villain Dental Clinic fortune, had made the decision to invest in salty and sugary snacks to increase her dental business and was now buying up much time during cartoon shows to advertise these tooth rotting products. The article continued that Miss Villain of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, who's hobbies included: skiing; wind-surfing and watching children get fat and lazy, had come up with this fool-proof plan by which to make more money and then control the world. (She also knew that the extra commercials would make the kids crazy. And being a villain, driving kids crazy just thrilled her.) "I also need extra money because I want to install a new furnace in my home and it'll be really expensive", she was quoted as saying. 
     "Well, that's not very nice", said Jackson who was now changing Jordan's smelly, poopy diaper.
     "And she lives in such close proximity to us", said Thomas.
     "I'm not cool with this. This isn't groovy at all", said William.
     "That stinks!", said Jordan. Nobody was sure if she was referring to the Villainous situation or her own diaper.
     "Hmmm..." arfed Quito.
     Then the doorbell rang.
     Continued next week... Chapter 6. Miss Wanda Villain

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