White America & Black America: The Difference? Mac 'N Cheese

     Page One Hundred Fifty-Nine.
     Yesterday, I got into a discussion with my co-workers about the different eating habits of black people and white people at large family gatherings or parties. It really is amazing how different some traditions are.
     I'm the manager of an African-American beauty salon even though I'm white. I've also spent a certain amount of time in other predominately black environments over the years, for a variety of reasons. The food differences still fascinate me.
     In about 2000, after working at the hospital for a little while, I got into a conversation with a black co-worker about her recent family Thanksgiving feast. She mentioned in passing how good the mac 'n cheese was. I was visibly surprised that she'd had that dish at Thanksgiving. She was, in turn, surprised that I was surprised. I'd never heard of mac 'n cheese at Thanksgiving and she was shocked at my ignorance. Another black co-worker who was standing nearby interceded. "Jeremy, black people always have mac 'n cheese at their family and holiday gatherings. And white people don't know that. And black people don't know that white people don't have it."  
     She was right. I've had this conversation countless times over the years with other white and black people and they're equally surprised.
     Yesterday at the salon, they asked me what will be on the average white family's Thanksgiving table in a couple of weeks. "Turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed white potatoes, cranberry relish, green beans, rolls and butter. Then some families will personalize it by perhaps adding sweet potatoes, peas, salad, and/or glazed carrots. But then they may eliminate the white potatoes and green beans and lots of people don't really like cranberry relish. But generally, the stereotypical caucasian family will have something closely related to that."
     "That's it?"
     "Yeah."
     "That's boring. What's your second meat?"
     "What's a second meat?"
     At that point the room erupted in laughter. They proceeded to list all the things that might be served at a black Thanksgiving, none of which surprised me because I'm somewhat well versed in stereotypical African-American eating habits at this point in my life. For those of you who aren't, take the aforementioned "White People List" and add spiral sliced ham, greens (collared or turnip), sometimes roast beef, black eyed peas, spaghetti with tomato sauce (occasionally), chicken wings, corn bread and, of course, mac 'n cheese. It tends to be more food and a greater variety than what I'm used to.
     Now, here's one question: is it a Southern thing? I've never thought to ask a Southern caucasian what their stereotypical eating habits are come Thanksgiving. But I wonder if it's more of a varied spread than what I'm used to as a Northerner? My next question is: if it's not a Southern thing but an exclusively black thing, why? What's the origin of the subtle changes

     But getting back to that mac 'n cheese... that stuff really represents the great divide between white and black America. And I'll tell you something else. MANY people have told me that I make the best mac 'n cheese with lobster that they've ever tasted. But I'd never take it to a black gathering. Never. They'd consider me an amateur. Why set myself up to receive those patronizing comments?