Page One Hundred-Three.
My relationship with the kid is progressing. Last Friday we got to talking about restaurant breakfasts. I told him about IHOP's early bird breakfast special: two pancakes, two eggs, two pieces of meat, coffee and the morning paper, all for $3.99. As far as I'm concerned, that's the best deal on the planet. They don't advertise it either, I discovered it purely by accident when I went in there very early one day a couple of years ago. I was placing my order and the waitress suggested that I'd save money with the special. She was right, but it's only available on business days 6AM-9AM. (I'm in Cleveland, epicenter of low prices. I don't know if the price changes in other cities.)
So Shem was amazed by this special and I suggested that we go check it out sometime. He was all for it and we decided on the following Monday, which would have been two days ago.
I said, "what time should I pick you up? 8.30? 8.45?"
"You can pick me up at 8."
"Do you really think you'll get up.
"Yes. For something like this. Yeah."
"I'll really be pissed if you stand me up."
He smiled.
"Seriously. You better not stand me up."
"I won't. I promise."
"Uh Huh."
He promptly stood me up. He was sound asleep.
So, when I went back many hours later to make him his dinner he came out and said, "I'm sorry".
I glared at him.
He started his well rehearsed apology. "Do you remember when you were a teenager?"
I busted up laughing. "That's the best opening line of an apology I've ever heard. Good for you. Congratulations on your creativity. I'm sure Shakespeare never was so creative."
He proceeded to explain that he got his days confused because of his summertime lack of structure. That's why he was up until who knows when playing video games. I accepted his apology and we'll reschedule for sometime next week. Also, he ultimately forgave me for inflicting feelings of guilt upon him because I made beef tips with sauteed mushrooms, red peppers and onions in thin sauce over wide noodles for dinner. Teenagers... What to do, what to do, what to do?!?!
We're getting along famously.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
World's Best Hot Dog
Page One Hundred-Two.
Independence Day is in a few days and that means hot dogs. What's your favorite brand of dog? For years and years, I didn't really care what kind I ate as long as it was kosher. I knew that I simply hated pork dogs, but beyond that, I didn't really have a favorite brand.
That changed some years ago when I was working at Fancy-Schmancy Nursing Home. I was hosting an outdoor event and needed to order some raw dogs from the dietary department to grill and serve to our residents. Dietary provided me with a few packages of David Berg dogs. My life hasn't been the same since. I'd never heard of David Berg dogs prior to that but I can tell you that those things were good. I'd eventually host other outdoor events and would have more Berg dogs. I think it got to the point where I was hosting outdoor events just so I could grill up Berg dogs.
I'd soon learn that Berg's primary market is as the high-end ball-park hot dog vendor. When you go to a baseball game you can often purchase a normal dog or a more expensive (premium) one. Bergs are the premium ones. After I left Fancy-Schmancy, I did a little research and was able to find Bergs in local, better grocery stores. I almost always have a pack in my freezer and I've turned the family whom I cook for onto them. They love 'em.
(Being a label-reader, I've noticed that Bergs are quite low-fat and are comprised of very wholesome ingredients. I once sent an e-mail to the company's customer relations department in which I heartily complimented them. They never responded. You'd figure that a company would be happy to receive that type of letter and would drop a line of appreciation. Nothing. This is just another example of the sorry state of American customer appreciation.)
Be prepared. They're pricey.
Independence Day is in a few days and that means hot dogs. What's your favorite brand of dog? For years and years, I didn't really care what kind I ate as long as it was kosher. I knew that I simply hated pork dogs, but beyond that, I didn't really have a favorite brand.
That changed some years ago when I was working at Fancy-Schmancy Nursing Home. I was hosting an outdoor event and needed to order some raw dogs from the dietary department to grill and serve to our residents. Dietary provided me with a few packages of David Berg dogs. My life hasn't been the same since. I'd never heard of David Berg dogs prior to that but I can tell you that those things were good. I'd eventually host other outdoor events and would have more Berg dogs. I think it got to the point where I was hosting outdoor events just so I could grill up Berg dogs.
I'd soon learn that Berg's primary market is as the high-end ball-park hot dog vendor. When you go to a baseball game you can often purchase a normal dog or a more expensive (premium) one. Bergs are the premium ones. After I left Fancy-Schmancy, I did a little research and was able to find Bergs in local, better grocery stores. I almost always have a pack in my freezer and I've turned the family whom I cook for onto them. They love 'em.
(Being a label-reader, I've noticed that Bergs are quite low-fat and are comprised of very wholesome ingredients. I once sent an e-mail to the company's customer relations department in which I heartily complimented them. They never responded. You'd figure that a company would be happy to receive that type of letter and would drop a line of appreciation. Nothing. This is just another example of the sorry state of American customer appreciation.)
Be prepared. They're pricey.
Friday, June 28, 2013
On Eating Broccoli Stalks
Page One Hundred-One.
I always thought that the only part of broccoli which was good to eat was the flower. So I would always trim my broccoli to within an inch of its life prior to cooking and then toss most of what I'd purchased in the garbage can. A few years ago, I was corrected.
I was helping build the Coliseum in Rome one day and was having my traditional lunch of two Big Macs, an extra large order of fries, two hot apple pies for dessert and a diet Coke. I noticed some of my co-workers eating what appeared to be broccoli stalks. I recognized these co-workers in passing as they were all six original members of Pink Floyd: Roger Waters, David Gilmour, Syd Barrett, Henry Mancini, Richard Wright and Nick Mason. They were all sitting together and joking around, even Syd, who appeared to be somewhat stable. I approached them and introduced myself. We hadn't really met prior because we were working on different elements of the building and we'd been placed there by differing contractors. They were welders, I was electrical. But I was so stunned by the sight of these Earthlings eating broccoli stalks that I just had to investigate. They were shocked that I didn't eat the stalk as they thought the stalk was practically the sweetest and most flavorful part of the entire plant. They offered me a sample and I had to agree. I asked them how to prepare stalks properly. Henry Mancini spoke right up:
"The only real trick is to peel it prior to cooking as the skin is yucky. Use a potato peeler for this project. But once you get the tough skin out of there, just cook as normal. The stalk will take longer than the flower by a couple of minutes. So it's best to cut the stalk off right near the flower and cook it longer. If you leave the flower on the stalk and cook the entire spear together, by the time the stalk is done the flower will be mush. An average stalk might take a total of six or seven minutes or so to boil up, while the flower might be done in four or so, depending upon size. That's it."
Then Syd Barrett weighed in:
"Make sure to use plenty of water and also heavily salt it to retain the beautiful green color. So just toss the stalk into the boiling water, set the timer for about three or four minutes then toss in the flowers. Then set the timer for another three minutes or so. Let them all cook together. Once everything is fork tender, they're done. They'll be great."
So, that's it. I've been cooking and eating stalks ever since and golly gosh gee are they good or what?
I always thought that the only part of broccoli which was good to eat was the flower. So I would always trim my broccoli to within an inch of its life prior to cooking and then toss most of what I'd purchased in the garbage can. A few years ago, I was corrected.
I was helping build the Coliseum in Rome one day and was having my traditional lunch of two Big Macs, an extra large order of fries, two hot apple pies for dessert and a diet Coke. I noticed some of my co-workers eating what appeared to be broccoli stalks. I recognized these co-workers in passing as they were all six original members of Pink Floyd: Roger Waters, David Gilmour, Syd Barrett, Henry Mancini, Richard Wright and Nick Mason. They were all sitting together and joking around, even Syd, who appeared to be somewhat stable. I approached them and introduced myself. We hadn't really met prior because we were working on different elements of the building and we'd been placed there by differing contractors. They were welders, I was electrical. But I was so stunned by the sight of these Earthlings eating broccoli stalks that I just had to investigate. They were shocked that I didn't eat the stalk as they thought the stalk was practically the sweetest and most flavorful part of the entire plant. They offered me a sample and I had to agree. I asked them how to prepare stalks properly. Henry Mancini spoke right up:
"The only real trick is to peel it prior to cooking as the skin is yucky. Use a potato peeler for this project. But once you get the tough skin out of there, just cook as normal. The stalk will take longer than the flower by a couple of minutes. So it's best to cut the stalk off right near the flower and cook it longer. If you leave the flower on the stalk and cook the entire spear together, by the time the stalk is done the flower will be mush. An average stalk might take a total of six or seven minutes or so to boil up, while the flower might be done in four or so, depending upon size. That's it."
Then Syd Barrett weighed in:
"Make sure to use plenty of water and also heavily salt it to retain the beautiful green color. So just toss the stalk into the boiling water, set the timer for about three or four minutes then toss in the flowers. Then set the timer for another three minutes or so. Let them all cook together. Once everything is fork tender, they're done. They'll be great."
So, that's it. I've been cooking and eating stalks ever since and golly gosh gee are they good or what?
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Ode To Cherries
Page One Hundred-One.
It's cherry season. I'm categorically not a fan of summer or warm/hot weather, but cherries make it all worthwhile. When I'm dead, I'll be sad because that means that I won't be able to eat cherries anymore.
My two favorite foods in this world are pepperoni pizza and fresh cherries, sad but true. (I'm a kid at heart. Guess why I'm so good at interacting with and caring for young people?) So, quite frequently during cherry season, I'll have pepperoni pizza with a nice salad for dinner and then for dessert I'll have a bowl of cherries.
In fact, maybe that's what I'll have tonight for dinner. I think I'll make myself a deep dish pepp pizza. Yessiree Bob. That's sounds just right. I'll go to Alesci's Italian grocery store (one of our local fantastic Italian grocery stores) and pick up the sauce, cheese, pepp and dough. I don't make my own dough. Why bother when I can buy it freshly made at Alesci's for thirty-five cents? Then I'll bring the whole mess home and assemble.
I'll break out my twelve inch cast iron skillet, grease it, dust it with corn meal, then put the dough in and spread. Then, I'll pour on the sauce, toss on the cheese, lovingly place the pepp and bake at 425 for about fifteen minutes or so. Yum, yum, yum. It'll be too good for words.
If he plays his cards right, perhaps I'll make the new kid, Shem, some of my deep dish pizza sometime. Not tomorrow, though. He likes lasagne, so I'll make him that. And, because it's virtually impossible to make lasagne for one, I'll make a normal amount and then I'm going to join him and we'll sit at the dining room table and eat dinner together like civilized people. We planned it yesterday. He also likes Moose Tracks ice cream... okay fine, twist my arm.
It's cherry season. I'm categorically not a fan of summer or warm/hot weather, but cherries make it all worthwhile. When I'm dead, I'll be sad because that means that I won't be able to eat cherries anymore.
My two favorite foods in this world are pepperoni pizza and fresh cherries, sad but true. (I'm a kid at heart. Guess why I'm so good at interacting with and caring for young people?) So, quite frequently during cherry season, I'll have pepperoni pizza with a nice salad for dinner and then for dessert I'll have a bowl of cherries.
In fact, maybe that's what I'll have tonight for dinner. I think I'll make myself a deep dish pepp pizza. Yessiree Bob. That's sounds just right. I'll go to Alesci's Italian grocery store (one of our local fantastic Italian grocery stores) and pick up the sauce, cheese, pepp and dough. I don't make my own dough. Why bother when I can buy it freshly made at Alesci's for thirty-five cents? Then I'll bring the whole mess home and assemble.
I'll break out my twelve inch cast iron skillet, grease it, dust it with corn meal, then put the dough in and spread. Then, I'll pour on the sauce, toss on the cheese, lovingly place the pepp and bake at 425 for about fifteen minutes or so. Yum, yum, yum. It'll be too good for words.
If he plays his cards right, perhaps I'll make the new kid, Shem, some of my deep dish pizza sometime. Not tomorrow, though. He likes lasagne, so I'll make him that. And, because it's virtually impossible to make lasagne for one, I'll make a normal amount and then I'm going to join him and we'll sit at the dining room table and eat dinner together like civilized people. We planned it yesterday. He also likes Moose Tracks ice cream... okay fine, twist my arm.
Monday, June 24, 2013
The Cleveland Museum Of Art's Summer Solstice Party
Page One Hundred.
Today's blog has nothing to do with food or children. It has nothing to do with the new kid whom I'm working with. It really has nothing to do with anything except for a party I went to last night.
As I've mentioned in the past, I live in Cleveland, Ohio, Cleveland Heights, an old, gracious, inner-ring suburb, to be exact. I've talked about how Cleveland is substantially larger than most people realize. And I've talked about the unusually broad ethnic communities who live here and serve food here. I've also implied that there's great wealth here. Well, I'm not going to imply great wealth in today's blog.
By the mid-19th century, Cleveland had so many rich people it was crazy. John D. Rocky lived here for much of his life. (His summer home was just about a mile from where I live. But, it burned down prior to World War I, I think. Also, John is buried about one half mile from my apartment. His grave is right next to President Garfield's.) And many, many other super rich folk lived here and built their homes on Euclid Avenue, one of our major thoroughfares. After the Civil War and before the turn of the 20th century, Euclid Avenue was considered by many international travelers to be the most beautiful road in the world, outside of Paris. Though only two of those homes still exist today, the legacies of most of those families still exist heavily in Northeast Ohio, read: financial endowments. Our arts and cultural institutions are so wealthy you simply wouldn't believe it.
The Cleveland Museum of Art is just finishing up a near decade-long expansion. Literally. Imagine a museum expansion that's taken nearly ten years to complete. The entire Freedom Tower in Manhattan will take less than that from start to finish. The museum was established in 1913 with the original building being completed in 1916. It added on in the late fifties, then again in the early seventies. And it was large in the first place. So, in the late nineties, they decided that they couldn't leave well enough alone and decided to add on again. But this time they wouldn't just add a little shack onto the back. Oh, no, no, no. They decided to tear down the '50's addition, add a three tier attached parking structure, add two additions that, kind of, mimicked the '70's addition creating a, sort of, square building with a courtyard in the middle, then cover that courtyard with glass thereby creating the largest public atrium in Ohio. This atrium is one acre large and surrounded on four sides by galleries. So essentially, it's a football stadium with art where seats ought to be. Cost: almost 400 million. But, thankfully, our museum is one of the most heavily endowed art museums in America, so they can afford it, thank you very much. International architectural critics are hailing it a gem and a masterpiece, rivaled only by the art inside. It really is stunning. This is also the most lavish arts and cultural project in Ohio's history.
They shut the entire building down in '05, to begin the project and the museum was completely closed for about three years, slowly reopening little pieces, parts, corners, nooks and crannies starting in 2008. The last section, yet to open, will be the large Chinese galleries, around Christmas of this year.
In 2009, they held a party on June 21st to celebrate the opening of various galleries that season. (Perhaps they were opening the American contemporary art galleries? I can't remember.) That party got five thousand attendees so they decided to make it an annual affair. Last night was the fifth Summer Solstice Party and it's considered one of Cleveland's hippest parties. They fly in various dj's from around the world. Those dj's spin in this location or that. Then, they have live world music playing on this stage or that. So there's music and dancing and drinking and merriment and art galleries until 1AM. All in all, it's a pretty wild night and people really look forward to it. They sell out every year (fast) and I won't be surprised if they decide to sell closer to seven or eight thousand tickets next year. Lord knows, they have the space. Apparently, some upper echelon people at the museum are already fighting to make the party larger.
Last night was my third year volunteering at the Museum Solstice Party. Oy!!! Actually, it wasn't too bad. Years two and three, I conducted surveys and entered people in raffles. Last night, I worked the will call table. People really were well-behaved and pleasant. There were just soooooo many of them. It was a mad house, but then, it is every year. So I do know what to expect. It really is very fun.
Always, on the Sunday after the Solstice Party, the museum is barely open. It opens late and some of the extra services don't open at all: the restaurant, store and certain high maintenance galleries. This is because the entire staff is there until 2AM the night before, working the party. But instead, right now, and for the next couple of days, the museum's completely closed 'cause they're filming the next Captain America movie in the atrium. Just as well, those guards need the sleep.
Today's blog has nothing to do with food or children. It has nothing to do with the new kid whom I'm working with. It really has nothing to do with anything except for a party I went to last night.
As I've mentioned in the past, I live in Cleveland, Ohio, Cleveland Heights, an old, gracious, inner-ring suburb, to be exact. I've talked about how Cleveland is substantially larger than most people realize. And I've talked about the unusually broad ethnic communities who live here and serve food here. I've also implied that there's great wealth here. Well, I'm not going to imply great wealth in today's blog.
By the mid-19th century, Cleveland had so many rich people it was crazy. John D. Rocky lived here for much of his life. (His summer home was just about a mile from where I live. But, it burned down prior to World War I, I think. Also, John is buried about one half mile from my apartment. His grave is right next to President Garfield's.) And many, many other super rich folk lived here and built their homes on Euclid Avenue, one of our major thoroughfares. After the Civil War and before the turn of the 20th century, Euclid Avenue was considered by many international travelers to be the most beautiful road in the world, outside of Paris. Though only two of those homes still exist today, the legacies of most of those families still exist heavily in Northeast Ohio, read: financial endowments. Our arts and cultural institutions are so wealthy you simply wouldn't believe it.
The Cleveland Museum of Art is just finishing up a near decade-long expansion. Literally. Imagine a museum expansion that's taken nearly ten years to complete. The entire Freedom Tower in Manhattan will take less than that from start to finish. The museum was established in 1913 with the original building being completed in 1916. It added on in the late fifties, then again in the early seventies. And it was large in the first place. So, in the late nineties, they decided that they couldn't leave well enough alone and decided to add on again. But this time they wouldn't just add a little shack onto the back. Oh, no, no, no. They decided to tear down the '50's addition, add a three tier attached parking structure, add two additions that, kind of, mimicked the '70's addition creating a, sort of, square building with a courtyard in the middle, then cover that courtyard with glass thereby creating the largest public atrium in Ohio. This atrium is one acre large and surrounded on four sides by galleries. So essentially, it's a football stadium with art where seats ought to be. Cost: almost 400 million. But, thankfully, our museum is one of the most heavily endowed art museums in America, so they can afford it, thank you very much. International architectural critics are hailing it a gem and a masterpiece, rivaled only by the art inside. It really is stunning. This is also the most lavish arts and cultural project in Ohio's history.
They shut the entire building down in '05, to begin the project and the museum was completely closed for about three years, slowly reopening little pieces, parts, corners, nooks and crannies starting in 2008. The last section, yet to open, will be the large Chinese galleries, around Christmas of this year.
In 2009, they held a party on June 21st to celebrate the opening of various galleries that season. (Perhaps they were opening the American contemporary art galleries? I can't remember.) That party got five thousand attendees so they decided to make it an annual affair. Last night was the fifth Summer Solstice Party and it's considered one of Cleveland's hippest parties. They fly in various dj's from around the world. Those dj's spin in this location or that. Then, they have live world music playing on this stage or that. So there's music and dancing and drinking and merriment and art galleries until 1AM. All in all, it's a pretty wild night and people really look forward to it. They sell out every year (fast) and I won't be surprised if they decide to sell closer to seven or eight thousand tickets next year. Lord knows, they have the space. Apparently, some upper echelon people at the museum are already fighting to make the party larger.
Last night was my third year volunteering at the Museum Solstice Party. Oy!!! Actually, it wasn't too bad. Years two and three, I conducted surveys and entered people in raffles. Last night, I worked the will call table. People really were well-behaved and pleasant. There were just soooooo many of them. It was a mad house, but then, it is every year. So I do know what to expect. It really is very fun.
Always, on the Sunday after the Solstice Party, the museum is barely open. It opens late and some of the extra services don't open at all: the restaurant, store and certain high maintenance galleries. This is because the entire staff is there until 2AM the night before, working the party. But instead, right now, and for the next couple of days, the museum's completely closed 'cause they're filming the next Captain America movie in the atrium. Just as well, those guards need the sleep.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Cooking For A Fifteen Year Old - Part Three
Page Ninety-Nine.
Well, the kid, Shem, has begun to warm up to me. Yesterday when I was over cooking, he started out by mostly ignoring me. But by the time dinner was ready and he was eating, he was really quite talkative.We carried on about this and that, computer games and other incredibly important matters for, perhaps, half an hour. Turns out the kid's a champion gamer. He's won tournaments and so forth. While talking, he was very animated; he smiled and laughed occasionally. It was really a very nice chat. He's quite personable and warm after all. Who knew?
He was also particularly nice to his guardian, my friend Deb, last evening. He asked her how her day was. He hasn't done that in months; she was shocked. So, she subsequently phoned me this morning and asked me to add another day per week. I'll add Fridays. At this rate, I won't be surprised if we somehow figure out a way to keep me on board after the kid gets back from summer camp and moves in with his brother. In a situation like this, when you find a puzzle piece which apparently works, you don''t remove it. That's just my gut feeling. We'll see.
This Friday, I'll make him Beef Stroganoff for dinner and a turkey, lettuce and tomato for Saturday lunch. I really hope he makes it in life.
Well, the kid, Shem, has begun to warm up to me. Yesterday when I was over cooking, he started out by mostly ignoring me. But by the time dinner was ready and he was eating, he was really quite talkative.We carried on about this and that, computer games and other incredibly important matters for, perhaps, half an hour. Turns out the kid's a champion gamer. He's won tournaments and so forth. While talking, he was very animated; he smiled and laughed occasionally. It was really a very nice chat. He's quite personable and warm after all. Who knew?
He was also particularly nice to his guardian, my friend Deb, last evening. He asked her how her day was. He hasn't done that in months; she was shocked. So, she subsequently phoned me this morning and asked me to add another day per week. I'll add Fridays. At this rate, I won't be surprised if we somehow figure out a way to keep me on board after the kid gets back from summer camp and moves in with his brother. In a situation like this, when you find a puzzle piece which apparently works, you don''t remove it. That's just my gut feeling. We'll see.
This Friday, I'll make him Beef Stroganoff for dinner and a turkey, lettuce and tomato for Saturday lunch. I really hope he makes it in life.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Cooking For A Fifteen Year Old Boy - Part Two
Page Ninety-Eight.
Just an update...
I think this job cooking for the fifteen year old kid will be very temporary. (See page ninety-seven for the full story.) He's extraordinarily angry and takes everything he has out on his guardian, my friend Deb. This includes the food. So, even if he tells her that he wants Chipotle for dinner, when she brings him some, he'll throw it out. Literally. So, I'm in a loose-loose situation. Thankfully, he didn't take any of his anger out on me yesterday, and did actually eat some of the dinner I made him (steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, salad, bread/butter.) He was also somewhat gracious to me. But he certainly expressed no interest in spending time in the kitchen learning how to cook.
He's going away to summer camp in four weeks. So we'll see if my job lasts that long. When he gets back, he's going to move in with his big brother who's their next door neighbor. Deb told me that his brother won't take any of his attitude at all and that the kid has no idea what he's in for. Deb is also going to sign over custody to the brother. I told her that when the kid wakes up in six years, he'll realize all she's done for him, as most twenty-one year olds do. She told me that she understands that. But in the meantime, he's bringing her to tears, daily, with his words and attitude. She was crying when I left yesterday.
With all my nanny experience, I have first hand knowledge of the fact that typical fifteen year olds are little monsters. Combine that normal teen phase with what this kid has gone through and you end up with one horribly unhappy child. I hope and pray that he recuperates from all he's been through and is able to live a satisfying life.
Just an update...
I think this job cooking for the fifteen year old kid will be very temporary. (See page ninety-seven for the full story.) He's extraordinarily angry and takes everything he has out on his guardian, my friend Deb. This includes the food. So, even if he tells her that he wants Chipotle for dinner, when she brings him some, he'll throw it out. Literally. So, I'm in a loose-loose situation. Thankfully, he didn't take any of his anger out on me yesterday, and did actually eat some of the dinner I made him (steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, salad, bread/butter.) He was also somewhat gracious to me. But he certainly expressed no interest in spending time in the kitchen learning how to cook.
He's going away to summer camp in four weeks. So we'll see if my job lasts that long. When he gets back, he's going to move in with his big brother who's their next door neighbor. Deb told me that his brother won't take any of his attitude at all and that the kid has no idea what he's in for. Deb is also going to sign over custody to the brother. I told her that when the kid wakes up in six years, he'll realize all she's done for him, as most twenty-one year olds do. She told me that she understands that. But in the meantime, he's bringing her to tears, daily, with his words and attitude. She was crying when I left yesterday.
With all my nanny experience, I have first hand knowledge of the fact that typical fifteen year olds are little monsters. Combine that normal teen phase with what this kid has gone through and you end up with one horribly unhappy child. I hope and pray that he recuperates from all he's been through and is able to live a satisfying life.
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