Cedar Point - A Review

     Page Two Hundred Sixty-Three.

The Entrance circa 2005(?)

     I recently went to Cedar Point.  (One of the reason why I'm behind with my blogs. I lost a day there and a few days afterwards due to the recuperation process.) Let me tell you about it.
     I hadn't been to Cedar Point since the summer of '12 when I went with the real Thomas, Jackson, William and their father. (I was nannying that family at the time.) Dad felt he couldn't handle those three by himself so he asked for my assistance at Cedar Point, as well as at Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park ten minutes from CP, where we spent the next day. I had a blast. My job was to accompany William and do whatever he wanted. William, 8 years old at the time, and I were pretty much on the same exact page with almost everything, so we both had the time of our lives. (That's why I got him. Even though he's the youngest, he's the most fearless of the kids.)
     I didn't make it to CP last year, '13, but was determined to go this year. I asked, nay, bugged, many of my friends, but nobody could join me. Lost time from work, expense, fear of roller coaster, etc. were the excuses given. My friends just refuse to live on the edge. But then, a couple of weeks ago, I heard through the rumor mill that my nephew Michael and his girlfriend would be coming into town for a few days. Upon phoning him and confirming said rumor, I told him of my desires and he was totally on board. (You should know that Nephew Michael is one of this planet's all time coolest people.) I picked up Michael and Tricia from his sister's home (niece Heather and fiance Mark live very close to downtown Cleveland, 20 minutes from me) at 8.20 AM last Wednesday, July 9th and dropped them back off at  12.15 PM that night. I haven't been the same since.

     We walked into the entrance at exactly 10AM and exited at 10.50PM, driving out of the parking lot at 11.15PM. Though the park officially closes at 10, the CP law states that if you're in any line at 10, then you can proceed and drop to your death on that particular ride, regardless of how long the line takes, and we were in the 45 minute line for the Titanic Hindenburg 10,000 at 9.45. In a nutshell, we went on 23 rides, only taking 2 "picnic at the car*" breaks. We evaluated every single roller coaster in the park after riding it and took in 1 indoor show. We only purchased 1 food item, frozen custard, and 1 cup of pop. We probably walked about 5 miles by my best estimate and nobody got sunburned, thankfully.
     According to trade journals and amusement park enthusiast clubs, CP is considered the best amusement park on the planet and has been since the late '90's when those organizations began bestowing that honor. It really is over the top and aside from the extraordinary prices it is a great time.
     What's that you ask? Prices? Oh... do let me tell...
     Working at the museum, I got discount entrance tickets. Normally 60.00, I got ours for 45.00 which isn't bad. But then, there's the 15.00 parking, 4.00 for each of the two custards which we shared and 4.00 for the kiddie sized cup of pop. We figured out that the food prices in the park are roughly 3-4 X what they are outside the park, in the real world, or at least, Northern Ohio real world anyhow. (And for that ridiculous sum, the quality of the food isn't great. I find it greasy, and not in a good way and overly unhealthy, also, not in a good way. The custard is wonderful, though. That's why I wanted some. It's the world's best.) Being adults, we needed no souvenirs; so we didn't have to deal with that cost, thank heavens. God help budget-minded, middle-class parents when taking their little tykes to a place like this. Well, they simply can't do it.

     Overall, The ticket cost is somewhat reasonable, particularly if one can be had by the multitude of available discounts. But food and extraneous costs are shocking, so should be avoided at all costs. No pun intended.
     Concerning the rides: more fun than a barrel of monkeys. There are rides for all levels of fear: Cowardly Lion to Schwarzenegger and everything in between. Children's rides abound as do carnival-style games of skill and chance - another money killer which I avoid but I know some people like. There's also the petting zoo and numerous Broadway style shows. Plus, for the extra fee!, a water park and a couple of additional rides are adjacent to the park. There are enough things to do to last two days or even more. Which is why many choose to stay in one of the adjacent hotels and purchase a two day pass.
    Cedar Point is truly world class. Go sometime. My rating 10/10.



*My picnic cooler included:
freshly sliced:
roast beef
sliced pastrami
sandwich style pepperoni
honey-baked turkey
***
freshly sliced:
extra sharp cheddar
colby jack
swiss
***
1 pint of boiled shrimp
***
2 fresh loaves of bread:
challah
rye with seeds
***
1 quart of my homemade cole slaw
1 quart of my spicy, Mexican baked beans (I need to write that recipe in this blog sometime)
1 pint of olive medley (jumbo blue cheese stuffed, kalamata, pimiento-stuffed)

I pint of tomatoes - small heirloom variety)
1 pound of baby carrots
***

mayo
deli style mustard
steak sauce
shrimp sauce
***
2 pounds of fresh cherries
1 quart of dried fruit
1 quart of deluxe mixed nuts
***
2 bottles each:
Frosty brand root beer
Frosty brand blue cream soda
Goya brand ginger beer
Mexican-made Coca Cola (Mexican is made with cane sugar, not high fructose corn syrup)
***   
1 pound of peanut brittle
***
     I spread the blanket out on the ground between my car and the neighboring one. Then, I propped up a large umbrella and balanced it on the 2 corresponding side view mirrors, for shade.  Ms. Stewart herself couldn't have done finer, if I must say so myself.

Chicken Marsala

     Page Two Hundred Sixty-Two.
     Ever taste Chicken Marsala? Wow! It's good. I hadn't had any in a couple of years, but I had some recently. Oh my gracious, it was delicious. It's not really too difficult to make either. This recipe serves 2-4 depending upon how polite, large, hungry, old or picky your guests are. Of course you can double the recipe, or even triple it. But if you do, you may need to saute the chicken in batches.
                INGREDIENTS:
     two boneless, skinless, chicken breasts
     flour (1/2 cup?)
     salt
     butter (4 tablespoons?)
     olive oil (a few tablespoons?)
     one pint of mushrooms, sliced
     some Marsala wine (1 cup?)
     parsley to garnish, if desired

DIRECTIONS:

     First, carefully slice each flat breast across into two thin cutlets. Set aside.
     Then, mix some flour with a few pinches of salt in a pie plate.
     Then, dredge the cutlets in the flour and set aside again.
     Then melt the butter in a large saute pan over medium high, but not too high, and add the oil.
     Then, fry up the cutlets, until golden, being careful not to burn. Move the cutlets as little as possible, a few minutes on each side should do it.
     When the chicken is lightly browned, add mushrooms and saute for an additional moment or two until 'shrooms begin to brown.
     Then, pour in enough wine to cover, bring to a boil, turn down heat to simmer, cover and let cook 10(?) minutes 'till reduced a bit and chicken is nice and tender.
     Just too tasty to be true, but indeed, it is true.
     Serve, garnished with fresh parsley, next to broccoli or what-have-you. In Italian places this is often served with Fettuccine Alfredo, but that's just too heavy for my taste. You do whatever you want. Enjoy!!!    

Quito Chaper 15. Wanda's Sentence.

     Page Two Hundred Sixty-One.
     Quito barked: "I've been feeling that I've been letting my powers go to waste. I think I should be doing more to help others, but I'm not sure how, or where. I think I was given my powers for a reason, and I want you to help me."
     Wanda looked at him quizzically yet harshly simultaneously and said, "What are you? An idiot? How can I help you?"
     "First of all, no, I'm not an idiot and don't you ever call me or anybody else that ever again. It's extremely mean and unkind. And second of all, I'm not sure exactly how you can help. But I need to start aiding others more and you need to start aiding anybody who's not you. So I want you to be my cohort when I'm on a mission. This'll be a perfect match. We'll be a team like Batman and Robin, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, John Lennon and Paul McCartney or Hillary and Bill Clinton. You and I are going to be a canine Super-Team. How cool will that be?"
     Then Wanda began crying. Little, crystal-colored tears fell down her long, brown, regal, collie snout. This surprised Quito since he wasn't used to seeing villains cry. But he also knew why. She was so moved by his kindness, that her emotions were getting the best of her. He knew that she was so scared of her own feelings that she couldn't just graciously say "thank you". She'd spent so much energy and time over the years building up an emotional wall around herself that it was now as tall as the stately, beige, sandstone Terminal Tower and as wide as the maze-like, murky Cuyahoga River.
     Quito understood that some cats, dogs, tarantulas, porcupines and people feel so hurt by life events that they build up a protective barrier between themselves and others. They build this barrier, or wall, to keep themselves from getting hurt even more. They don't let anybody get too close. They don't tell people the truth about their own feelings. They don't trust anybody enough to tell hem when or why they're upset. Wanda was one of these dogs. She couldn't understand why Quito was being so nice to her. She rarely understand simple kindness because she'd seen so little of it in her life. So she started crying. But then she straightened up fast and got mean again.
     "Okay. Fine I'll help you do whatever you need. But don't expect me to be happy about it."
     Quito was perfectly unfazed by the idea of having a sidekick with an attitude problem. In fact, he thought it might add some entertainment and flavor to his missions (whatever his missions might end up being).
     But first things first... he wanted to get home and eat. (He had a real taste for Chicken Marsala.) And... speaking of which, where was he anyhow? And why did this hideout smell like lemon cleaner? And why was that odor so familiar?
     Continued next week... Chapter 16. Getting Home.  

A Trick For Really Great Italan Food

     Page Two Hundred Sixty.

     The next time you make Italian food, practically anything, grate a touch of fresh nutmeg into it. Italian cuisine has much more nutmeg than you may realize. Grate it into your Fettuccine Alfredo or your spaghetti with meat sauce or Bolognese sauce. When you make meatballs add some nutmeg to the mixture. Not too much mind you, just a nice pinch. Sprinkle some into your lasagne and of course, on top of your Tiramisu. It'll be great eating.  

Quito. Chapter 14. The Fight

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Nine.
     Well, it wasn't so much of a fight as it was a run and hide; which our dogs did, in fright, for they'd never seen Seven Dwarfs before. You know how some poodles get. All bark, but no real bite. Some poodles bite, of course, adding salt, pepper and a little freshly ground nutmeg for flavor, but not these guys. They just yip and yap and hide behind furniture or human legs if a stranger approaches. In this case, they ran around and arfed obnoxiously as the dwarfs merely looked at them. But our dwarfs were also especially smart today, even Dopey. They brought with them a secret weapon to guarantee success with said trouble-making canines: doggie bags filled with leftover Empress Chicken from Hunan's. (It was Doc's idea.)
     They all, except Sleepy, opened their stapled, brown, paper bags, took out the round, black, plastic containers which looked like flying saucers, opened them and held them out. Once the doggies approached, sniffed the sweet/spicy/citrus concotion and started gulping, which didn't take but a moment, the dwarfs, except Sleepy, slowly backed out the tiny door which they came through and led the pups up and out. Meanwhile, Sleepy untied our hero in between yawns, then exited and joined his six best buds. And of our evil villainess? She just stood there, stunned and slightly scared by Dopey's lone tooth in the middle of his upper gum.
     So now it was only Quito and Wanda, alone in the room. Quito stared at her without blinking and began barking. "While I was in your head discovering that you were scared of the Seven Dwarfs, I learned some things about you, Wanda. And I just want to tell you that you don't have to be so scared of people leaving you. You don't have to pretend to be  tough just to protect yourself."
     Quito barked very quietly, just above a whisper. "I know that one day when you were a puppy you were playing with your mother and when you tossed the silver, plastic frisbee into the street, she chased it and got killed by that screeching, little, red Corvette. Even today, the smell of gasoline sometimes makes you cry. I know that nobody knows who your dad is. I know that you were passed from house to house during your puppy-time because you were so unruly, what with your incessant howling of loneliness and guilt. I know that you inherited the Villain Dental Clinics only because you became a waitress in a black and white-style diner; and you befriended Mr. Villain, your regular customer, before he died. He had no family so he left you his fortune. You only changed your name to Villain to enter high-society. I know you've had a rough life, Wanda. I get it. But, it's not going to get better until you can be honest and open with yourself and others. You have to heal. You need to tell people when you're scared, lonely and crying on the inside. Don't just chase people away thinking they're going to eventually leave you or hate you anyway."
      Quito continued, but his arf changed and got tougher." Now, we both know I can pummel you into oblivion. But I don't think you'd become obedient if I did that. I also know that you're not a thoroughly evil dog, just a dog in pain. Some dogs really are evil. You're not one of them."
       Wanda didn't say a word while he was talking. She was shamed, terrified and had tears rolling from her red eyes down her snout. She looked to the grey concrete floor a lot and whenever she looked up and caught his gaze, she got embarrassed and looked away, crying more. Quito stared at her intensely and thought about what he would do.
     "I think you need to start helping others, not just yourself."  He took another long pause and looked off into outer space, somewhere. Minute passed with neither of them barking. "I have an idea. Yup, I have a good idea", our long-haired dog finally said. 
     Continued Next Week... Chapter 15. Wanda's Sentence.  

Cherry Season

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Eight.
     It's cherry season. Enjoy this 90 minutes while it lasts. It'll be over before you blink. (Cherry season is 10.23 AM, June 28 - 7.16 PM July 17.)
     Cherries and pepperoni pizza are my two favorite foods. I believe I've mentioned that before. What I do frequently in summertime, cherry season, is make a meal of pizza and then have cherries for dessert. In my previous blog, though, I  mentioned my recently changed eating habits.  I've cut back tremendously on the pizza. So these days, I'm having cherries as a complete meal. Really. A bowl of cherries is dinner. Still not too bad.
     I'm also quite finicky about the variety I purchase. I like the very large, dark type. Those are usually difficult to come by and if I can find them they're tre expensive. This year, my neighborhood discount grocer happens to have them at only 2.29 per pound. A true gift from God.                    

On Craving A Burger

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-Seven.

     Have I ever mentioned the fact that I could live on hamburgers? I just love nice, greasy, ketchupy, oniony hamburgers. Don't ever give me a veggie burger and expect me to accept it as the real thing. It isn't. If you say to me: "Jeremy, here's a veggie burger which is just exactly that: a veggie burger", then I'll be fine with it. I'll know that you're not trying to mess with my mind by giving me an imitation. But if you tell me to come over for a "cookout with all the normal things" and I show up drooling, and you give me a turkey burger, I'll start crying. I may only cry to myself and smile ingratiatingly at you, but I'll still be crying on the inside, none-the-less.
     Let me tell of the best burger I've ever had in my life.
     In 1989, I went to summer school in Jerusalem. The Israeli burgers sucked. They may or may not be any better today, but in '89 they were just awful. Dry, gray, cardboard is one way to describe them. Imagine McDonald's on a particularly bad day. Allegedly, it was because Israel doesn't have any cows, so everything has to be imported. Shipping costs are prohibitive, so they primarily get cut-rate stuff. By the way, Israel, '89, is when and where I first heard the international urban legend of America, Australia and Argentina having the best inexpensive beef. Meaning: you can go anywhere in the world and pay top dollar to get great stuff. But where can you go, pay less, but still get a decent beef meal? Brother, it sure ain't Israel. Rather it's the three "A's". We have tons 'o cows and space for them to roam. Seems like since the '90's I've heard that Brazil has good, cheap beef too.
     And in Israel you can forget about cheeseburgers. It's against kosher dietary laws to mix any milk product with any meat product in the same meal. This is a topic I've talked about in prior blogs. So, no drippy cheddar with lettuce/tomato or stretchy mozzarella atop those sauteed mushrooms/onions. Just toss that concept right out of your third floor window and watch it go "splat" on the sidewalk.
     So, by the time I was on the return plane, in late-August, after an unsuccessful school experience, I was dying for the greasiest burger or cheeseburger you can imagine. When I landed at JFK on that sunny afternoon, the first thing I did after retrieving my backpack and going to the bathroom was finding the nearest burger stand and ordering a cheeseburger with the works. After a short search I found a stand. It wasn't a chain restaurant either. It was, like, "JFK International Airport Brand Grease-Burgers". MY GOD it was good. The best burger I've ever had in my life. Lots of gooey cholesterol dripping down my fingers and chin; a strong flavor of sodium and beef; an oversized bleached-flour casket in which the thing lie. It was glorious. I was never so grateful for America in my life.
     Well...
     Last July (2013) I went on a diet and have really changed how and what I eat. I lost weight and have kept most of it off. (Lost 22, put 7 back on, lost 2 more so still down 17. Would still like to loose 10 pounds or 1 more inch around my waist.) Here-in lies the problem: no regular splurges of burgers, much as I might crave 'em. A grease-burger occasionally? Who cares. But nothing regular. And I really could have burgers 3-4 days per week and be giddy with delight. I love them that much.
     Perhaps because it's summer and I smell neighbors' grills.