Luke Skywalker's Cheese Sauce

     Page Sixty-Two
     Some time ago, I was eating dinner with Henry VIII. It was at his home and he decided to have a low-key potluck. He felt like having some friends over but didn't want the royal staff to get into a tizzy feeding everybody. So he told all the guests to bring their favorite things. (Though, he was married to Ann Boleyn at the time and she made a mean Chicken Chop Suey which ended up being one of our main courses.) Among the guests were Greta Garbo who brought a crock pot filled with mini meatballs in a sweet/sour sauce; Samson and Delilah (pigs in a blanket); Plato (spinach salad with strawberries and walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette); Adonis (cole slaw) and Mary Todd Lincoln (chocolate cheesecake). There were many other guests also; these are just a few who stick in my memory. I brought some heat 'n serve rolls.
     The thing I remember best about the evening though, is the broccoli with cheese sauce that Luke Sywalker presented. It was probably the best cheese sauce I've ever eaten and Luke was gracious enough to share the secret with anybody who asked. Essentially, it comes down to three special ingredients: paprika, mustard and Worcestershire. That's it! A few shakes of paprika, a quick squeeze of mustard and a few dashes of Worcestershire will liven up the most drab cheese sauce recipe. But you have to add all three, you can't mix and match. The three together create a very specific taste which is what sets this sauce apart.
     Ever since that fateful evening at Henry's I've always added those three things to my cheese sauce, whether it be for mac 'n cheese or the aforementioned broccoli. It always works. Enjoy.

Meeting Mabel

     Page Sixty-One.
     When I was new in the activities department of Fancy-Shmancy Nursing Home in 2003, it took me a few weeks to meet all the residents. Gradually though, I met everybody and started establishing some pleasant relationships. I was told in advance that one particular woman, Mabel, would be very entertaining. She'd moved into the home about one year earlier at the age of 98 and she'd lived at home by herself until moving into Fancy-Shmancy.
     So one afternoon, I went to her room and knocked. I'd already worked in the hospital for a few years, so I knew what to expect. I knew that Mabel would be taking a nap, doing a puzzle, watching a soap or some such thing. After all, like I said, I'd already done this type of thing a thousand times. So, anyhow, I knocked. "Just a minute. Be right there." At least I didn't wake her up, I thought. (I hate waking old people up.) After a long moment, a bright-eyed, small-framed, gray-coiffed, graciously-dressed, very old woman opened the door and with many teeth showing said, "hello, may I help you?" I introduced myself as Jeremy, the new activities assistant, and explained that I was trying to meet all the residents of the home.
     "Oh, yes. I heard about you. Please come in." She led me into her her room. "Please forgive my delay in opening the door. I was in the middle of emailing a friend in China when you knocked."  That told me everything right there. This 99 year old lady, in 2003, was emailing a friend in China. I realized right then that this was no ordinary, old lady. She was hip and knew what was going on. She wasn't scared of any technology or new gadgetry. Her attitude was "Bring It On, Baby". She amazed me. Today, I know people half her age who are substantially more intimidated by technology than she ever was.
     We would go on to become quite friendly. I visited her regularly, even after I got my promotion to activity coordinator of the dementia units. She would have to give up the computer about three years later (age 102) because her eyesight would fail. She would die four years after that (age 106). The last couple years of her life, I only saw her on Christmas. I'd eventually quit working at Fancy-Shmancy, but continued volunteering there. One of my regular volunteer gigs was covering Christmas; I visited all the residents in the home on that day and Mabel always gave me some See's chocolate which friends sent her for the holidays. She never lost her faculties either.
     I'll never forget the 99 year old lady whom I interrupted on the computer.

In Search Of Kitchen Perfection -Or- Save Your Soul And Settle For Just Plain Good

     Page Sixty.
     There's a movement going on right now that I have a little problem with. There are certain cookbooks and cooking magazines which teach how to make "perfect" versions of things. I really disagree with that concept. This morning, I was leafing through one of those magazines which teach how to make the "best version possible" of a variety of foods. I found myself feeling sorry for inexperienced people who might try making some of those items. The pressure they must put on themselves while searching for kitchen perfection is unfortunate and sorrowful.
     As someone who's quite at home in the kitchen, I can look at certain cookbooks and say to myself something like, "I don't need to stress out trying to get a perfect burger". A decent burger with an order of ease, comfort and relaxation on the side is just fine by me. But a lot of novices can't do that. They see these recipes and assume that the perfect burger is the only one worth eating. And, if the process causes a three day migraine, well, so be it. If moderate or advanced cooks want to improve their skills, that's one thing, but for beginners, these cookbooks are simply misguided.
     I have a friend who's in his sixties and a man of the cloth. He's a wonderful person who doesn't cook. I mean, he really doesn't cook. I believe he probably owns a spatula and perhaps uses it to flip eggs in the morning. But I think it's equally possible that he goes out to eat every morning, noon and night and indeed hasn't ever flipped an egg in his life. While at his home for a party a while back, I noticed a set of cookbooks on a kitchen shelf. I'd never noticed a cookbook in his place before, so I went over to investigate. I found an unwrapped set of Julia Child's French cookbooks. I was shocked. I didn't ask him about them. I just immediately figured that some well-meaning friend or congregant assumed he would like to learn to cook, so what better place to start than Julia. Like I said, they were still in plastic, up on that shelf. Perhaps he even told somebody that he'd like to learn to cook and received those in response. I recognize that I'm jumping to conclusions here, but if you knew this fellow, you wouldn't question, for a second, the incongruity of him owning a Julia Child set. Nobody but nobody is more intimidating than Julia. Fantastic as she is, she's hardly for beginners. (And somebody spent a lot of money for those books, too.) 
     Therein lies the problem, beginners don't know what a beginner cookbook is and what and advanced cookbook is. Giving my minister friend Julia is akin to giving her to an 8 year old. The same goes for cookbooks which teach "perfection". Who are they really for? They're certainly not for the average skill cook who has to feed his or her spouse and three kids and then rush the kids off to soccer. But the magazines sure don't say that.
     Effective beginner cookbooks are Joy of Cooking or the Fannie Farmer Cookbook. (I consult Fannie more than Joy.) Concerning my minister friend, if he ever told me he wanted a cookbook, you know what I'd do? I'd consider a children's cookbook. I'd probably talk with him about it first though and make sure that he wouldn't be offended. You have to accept and meet people where they are. And perfection is almost always over-rated anyhow, even in the kitchen.   

A Chocolate Fountain Recipe

     Page Fifty-Nine.
     A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I held a community Passover Seder at a local church. It was very successful. Final head count was, I think, about two hundred sixty people. The meal itself was large, hearty and filling. It was mostly traditional fare. We started with green salad with tomatoes, peppers, egg and gefilte fish. After salad, we had the matzo ball soup. Then, our main course was beef brisket, roasted root vegetables and green beans. Dinner was followed by a dessert of chocolate fountains with, as dippers: fresh fruit (strawberries, pineapple and bananas), many varieties of macaroons, egg matzo, walnuts, pretzels and potato chips.
     People were just thrilled with the food, which made me very happy. But I'll tell you what's gross: the recipe for the chocolate fountain. Your chocolate has to be deceptively thin to work properly. After you've melted the chocolate chips, say, a few pounds, you then have to add to it 1/4 - 1/2 cup of pure vegetable oil. Once you've mixed the oil and chocolate thoroughly in a bowl with a spoon, you can pour it into the fountain and off you go. But I'm telling you, the chocolate has got to be really thin. Just don't tell anybody what you've just done because they'll get sick. I'll tell you what though. If you don't add enough oil, the fountain simply won't work. The chocolate will clog the feeder tube and you'll have one serious mess on your hands.
     Chocolate fondue doesn't require so much oil, just a little bit of butter, but with 260 people, fondue isn't a viable alternative either. So next year, if I do another Seder, it'll be tons of chocolate with tons of vegetable oil. Oh, well.  

A Thirteenth Birthday Meal

     Page Fifty-Eight.
     Tomorrow is the 13th birthday of one of the boys whom I currently nanny. For his birthday meal, Zok has asked me to make him homemade chicken noodle soup and homemade pretzels with a rosemary cheese dipping sauce. Is this a joke? What 13 year old boy asks for things like that? Boys who I nanny, that's who. Their grandmother has accused me one thousand times of spoiling them. I always tell her that spoiling them is my job, but this is ridiculous.
     Right now, I have the soup cooking on my stove. Real, homemade chicken noodle soup is a two day affair, so I'll simply bring the finished product with me. It'll be easier that way. (Eventually, I'll put my recipe for the soup in this blog, but for now, all you need to know is: it is very time consuming and expensive.)
     But, anyhow, what ever happened to 13 year old boys wanting really great Chicken Tetrazini or fresh, homemade lasagne or even homemade pizza? (All these are things I make great, by the way.) At least the little one, Fauntleroy, who'll be 9 this summer, is consistent. Every year he wants Belgian Waffles and Baked Alaska for his birthday. Lord help me when the middle one, Billy-Bob-Joe, turns 11 in a month. He's the pickiest. He's the way I was when I was a kid, virtually impossible. Interestingly, I successfully introduced him, of all people, to caviar. Nobody else will touch the stuff but he loves it.
     I've been with these boys for almost two and a half years now and feeding them has gotten easier and more difficult, simultaneously. I've introduced much new food and homemade versions of old food. It's gotten easier because of the occasional success I have with introducing new dishes. It's more difficult because as I bring in new things, they no longer want the old, easier versions of those things. For example, Lord help me if I were to open a can of chicken noodle soup and present it to Zok for his birthday meal. No! no! no! Only homemade will do.(With homemade pretzels with rosemary cheese dipping sauce. How dysfunctional is that?) Maybe I'm just complaining and being lazy, but I promise you he never had homemade chicken soup in his life until I showed up.
     The fact is, on the rare occasions when I make grilled cheese sandwiches with Tots and salad, they're thrilled. And Mom has told me a few times that I can relax a little with the food. But, I can't. It's not in my nature. Of course, I'm spoiling them. But, that's okay.

On Making Chicken Pot Pie.

     Page Fifty-Seven.
     Way back on page fifty-two, I talked about Chicken Pot Pie.I implied that it's an ordeal and complicated to make. Believe it or not, it really isn't. In fact during the last few blogs, I have taught you how to do it, I just didn't tell you that I was teaching how to make Chicken Pot Pie because it sounds so intimidating.
     On page fifty-three, I instructed how to make the chicken; on fifty-four, the vegetables; on fifty-six, the sauce; and on fifty-two the crust. All of those recipes fit neatly together to make one casserole which feeds about eight people. While the chicken is in the oven, make the veggies. When both of those are finished, make the sauce, then put all that stuff into a large baking dish. Finish with the crust. Finally, put everything in the oven, 425 F. for 20-25 minutes or until the crust is light brown and the filling is bubbly. This is one of the most comforting foods in the history of comfort foods. And most kids will eat it. It is not low fat, but it is high protein and full of vegetables. Serve this with a green salad on the side and you have a very satisfying meal. Bone Appetite! 

Medium White Sauce

     Page Fifty-Six.
     Do you ever need just a nice little sauce to go over something or to put other stuff into? Like, for instance, say, you want to make some Chicken a la King and you have all your chicken and other crud ready, but you don't have a sauce to put it in. Well, here you go:
     Slowly melt over medium low heat, 1 stick of butter. When it's melted stir in 1/2 cup of flour. Mix occasionally over low heat for a few minutes. (Right now you're basically cooking the flour to eliminate it's raw taste.) While the flour/butter mixture is slowly cooking, put 1 quart of milk in the microwave or in a separate pot on the stove and heat 'till warm. Pour the warm milk into the butter/flour mixture and stir until thickened, just a few minutes should do it. Add salt, pepper and any other spices you wish to flavor it up. (If for example, you're making the aforementioned Chicken a la King, you can add a couple of chicken bullion cubes and perhaps some poultry seasoning. But this, really, is just an example.) By the way, this is enough sauce to feed eight to ten people if you add a lot of other stuff to it. Of course, you can divide it very easily. For a family of four with little leftover use 1/2 stick butter, 1/4 cup flour and 2 cups milk. Feel free to make even less or gobs more if desired.
     This is a perfect "medium" white sauce. Good gravy, that was easy!