Mary Todd Lincoln's Vegetarian Pot Pie

     Page One Hundred Fifty-Four.
     Mary Todd Lincoln was preparing Thanksgiving Dinner for the Union Army during the war. It was Pennsylvania, 1863, and life was hard for everybody, but more so for the the vegetarians than anybody else. Their life-style was a challenge to all the army cooks. But that year Mary Todd tried to accommodate them by preparing a Pot-Pie without turkey. I acquired this recipe because I befriended her ghost some years ago at a seminar for American Civil War enthusiasts. I told her ghost of my penchant for cooking and she graciously gave it to me. Unlike the stories floating around, she really was very pleasant. The ghost I mean, not Mary Todd. The pot pie is pretty good too. Here:

1 stick butter (1/2 cup)
1/2 cup flour
1 quart full-fat milk
2-4 vegetable bullion cubes
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a little bit of olive oil
1 pint mushrooms, sliced
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
1 red pepper, coarsely chopped
freshly ground black pepper
couple of teaspoons of brown sugar
few splashes of white wine, sherry or brandy  
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1 16 ounce bag of frozen mixed vegetables, placed in colander and run under hot water 'till just warm
1 box of extra-firm tofu, cut into 1/2 inch cubes - if desired (but it really is tasty)
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2 cups Bisquik
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup melted butter
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     Pour a little bit of olive oil into skillet and dump in 'shrooms, onions and red pepper. Saute for a while until they begin to soften up. Add black pepper, brown sugar and wine to taste. Saute for a few moments to de-glaze and 'till alcohol burns off. Mixture should be wet but not watery at all. Set aside.
     Heat stick of butter in large pot over medium-low heat 'till melted. Add flour. Heat and stir for a few minutes over medium-low heat. Meanwhile, heat milk in micro for a couple of minutes till hot. Pour hot milk into butter/flour mixture and stir 'till mixture thickens up. Add vegetable bullion to taste. Be careful with those darn bullion cubes. They're salty as all get out!
     Dump 'shroom mixture into gravy mix and then add warmed frozen veggies and tofu (if desired) . Stir well but with a gentle hand as we don't want the tofu to break-up, now do we? Pour the entire Kitten Kaboodle into a very large baking dish, either glass, metal or ceramic. Set aside.
     Mix Bisquik with cream lightly but thoroughly in a mixing bowl. After mixed, place on wooden board and knead just a couple of times. Roll with pin to fit over the casserole. Gently transfer from board to casserole and with pastry brush, brush melted butter over top of crust.
     Bake at 450 for a while, 15(?) minutes, until crust is browned, and filling is bubbly. Feeds a nice Thanksgiving crowd - 10 or so... maybe... perhaps more or less? Who knows? Who cares?
     Nobody will miss the turkey. If you don't tell them it's poultry-less, they may not even notice, in fact.
     This recipe is clearly not low-fat. But, it's Thanksgiving for crying out loud!

This...

Or This?

Luke Skywalker's Cheese Sauce

     Page Sixty-Two
     Some time ago, I was eating dinner with Henry VIII. It was at his home and he decided to have a low-key potluck. He felt like having some friends over but didn't want the royal staff to get into a tizzy feeding everybody. So he told all the guests to bring their favorite things. (Though, he was married to Ann Boleyn at the time and she made a mean Chicken Chop Suey which ended up being one of our main courses.) Among the guests were Greta Garbo who brought a crock pot filled with mini meatballs in a sweet/sour sauce; Samson and Delilah (pigs in a blanket); Plato (spinach salad with strawberries and walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette); Adonis (cole slaw) and Mary Todd Lincoln (chocolate cheesecake). There were many other guests also; these are just a few who stick in my memory. I brought some heat 'n serve rolls.
     The thing I remember best about the evening though, is the broccoli with cheese sauce that Luke Sywalker presented. It was probably the best cheese sauce I've ever eaten and Luke was gracious enough to share the secret with anybody who asked. Essentially, it comes down to three special ingredients: paprika, mustard and Worcestershire. That's it! A few shakes of paprika, a quick squeeze of mustard and a few dashes of Worcestershire will liven up the most drab cheese sauce recipe. But you have to add all three, you can't mix and match. The three together create a very specific taste which is what sets this sauce apart.
     Ever since that fateful evening at Henry's I've always added those three things to my cheese sauce, whether it be for mac 'n cheese or the aforementioned broccoli. It always works. Enjoy.