Page One Hundred Sixty-Nine.
I have few parties or get-togethers. My apartment really is too small for any number of people above four and parties require three cleanings. Also the cost is dysfunctional. Subsequently, in the nine years that I've been in my current flat, I've only had six or seven soires. Here's how I deal with it:
Apartment Size
Last weekend there were twenty-six guests (plus me) in my place. That's twenty-three more people than it can comfortably hold. But I didn't care. It was an afternoon affair with people coming in and out with never more than about fifteen at a time. Between my living room and dining room there's seating for thirteen, though it is tight. And I do mean tight. But, oh, well. I figure, if I make the food and environment good enough then people won't care if they end up sitting on each other's laps (which some people don't mind either).
Cleaning
Here's the real problem. I'm not at all messy, but I usually have roommates who are pigs. And I'll admit that I'm really bad at dusting and polishing regularly. So every time I have a party, there are three cleanings involved. First, there's the pre-clean clean. That occurs a few weeks in advance and it's when I go on an archaeological dig in my own apartment. I look for dinosaur or pterodactyl skeletons, remnants of the Titanic (and any other shipwrecks) and previously unknown aboriginal tribes. Then I clean whatever I find so heavily that it's shinier and more sparkly than the British crown jewels. And I subsequently organize and arrange items in a manner reminiscent of the Smithsonian Institute. (People have occasionally seen my apartment clean and they have literally commented that it reminds them of a museum.)
Then the second clean is a couple of days prior to the party. That occurs because I get spots on the bathroom mirror, new crumbs appear on the kitchen floor or the throw pillows in the living room get misshapen. In short, I really allow my OCD to rare it's ugly head while getting the apartment looking nice. I refer to these two cleanings as "autoclaving" my apartment. And I'll tell you, after clean #2 you really can eat off any surface in my place.
Clean #3 is after the party is over and all the barbarians and heathens have left. Don't even get me started...
Cost
I'm usually able to rationalize the cost. I'm lucky that way. Also, because I make all the food myself from scratch, my bills are substantially lower than the equivalent at somebody else's place anyhow. The food at last weekend's party was hundreds less than it would've been at a neighbor's merely because I do it all with my little ole' fingers. But the fact is lots of dollars are involved, no matter what. And sometimes my bank account gets cross with me for treating it with such disregard. I hate making my bank account unhappy with me.
So I really don't entertain often. But last week's party was fun. The theme was "bring your own dessert". I provided all the real food and requested the guests to bring sweets to share.
Here's what I ended up making: beef tenderloin sliced thin with accompanying French bread for sandwiches; pork ribs; chicken pot pie; mac 'n cheese; wild rice medley and Mexican baked beans (vegan); quinoa with mushrooms, onions and red pepper (vegan); a cold vegetable tray with blue cheese dipping sauce; hot mulled apple cider and pop. Then, there were bowls of your requisite tree nuts; seeds; chocolate coated things, mandarin oranges and pralines strewn about. It was all very good.
But what guests brought was unreal. Cupcakes galore; chocolate cake; strawberry cheesecake; molasses cookies; angel food cake; key lime pie; mini key lime cheesecakes; chocolate covered who knows what; pumpkin pie; more cookies and other stuff. Plus I contributed two things to the dessert table: a box each of ho-hos and twinkies. Everything was was heavenly.
So perhaps I'll have another sweet treats party next year. I think I can handle one per year. I think.
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