Restrictive Diets And The Very Old

     Twenty-Eight.
     I created quite a controversy in my nursing home some years ago. I gradually got more and more disgusted by the policy of dietary restrictions among the very old and I got vocal. Putting an old person on a restrictive diet is very cruel, I believe.
     Those people have diminished hearing and diminished sight. They've lost their spouses, friends and sometimes children. They've usually lost sexual partners. Many things they're comfortable with - the world they know - is gone. And now... the ultimate insult... they're not allowed to eat what they want because some doctor, nurse or dietician believes that something isn't healthy.
     Let's get this straight...
     "My name's Joseph. You can call me Joe. I was in the South Pacific, under MacArthur, during the war. But, let's talk about today. I'm eighty-nine and thirty pounds overweight. I admit, I've always been a little chubby. My cholesterol is too high and I have high blood pressure. I have stable diabetes and all my other organs are okay, knock wood. My wife, Vivian, and two of my three children are gone. One of my sons died in Viet Nam and my daughter died a few years ago of cancer. I never really got over the loss of my son. All my siblings are dead. I'm still at home on a limited income so I can't do most things I wish I could. Even if I could go out once in a while, who would I go with? All my friends are either dead or they've moved away. Everything hurts. You wouldn't believe how vigorous I used to be. I played tennis twice a week. Now, I can't even walk to the mailbox without getting winded. My macular degeneration has advanced so I'm not able to drive anymore and hearing aid batteries are very expensive so it's hard for me to hear sometimes. I don't remember things so well anymore, either. I have to write everything down so I don't forget."
     "I'm not complaining though. I've had a great life. I was a machinist and married to the most wonderful girl in the world. You could never have asked for a better wife. Boy was she pretty! All the guys wanted her but I got her. Life's different with her gone. Now, I have to rely on my son and daughter-in-law for everything. They pick up my groceries and pills. I'm grateful for them, don't get me wrong, but they're too bossy."
     "For instance, I used to love Stouffer's frozen mac 'n cheese but they won't buy it for me because the damn doctor told them I should eat less fat. They also won't buy me real butter or even 2% milk. I'm stuck with cheap margarine and imitation milk made from almonds of all things. I can certainly afford real milk and butter, dammit. When they do get me pasta it's this whole wheat sh**. Why won't they get me good food? I tried to be a good father. I really did. I sacrificed like they don't know. Who worked while they took vacations? Who scrimped and saved? When I was a child my mother could stretch a dollar better than anyone you ever met. We always had food on the table. And it was good, too. Now, they won't even let me have the peanut butter I like and I don't even know why. They buy me this strange peanut butter that has no flavor.. Why doesn't everybody just leave me alone, God Dammit? I have no independence at all any more. SH**!!!"
     I knew men just like this, and women too. And I agree with them. In the nursing home It's even worse because we had TOTAL control over what they ate. And if the doc, nursing staff or dietician decided that Joe shouldn't eat something, he basically had no control over it, especially if he had advanced dementia. And his kids would feel obligated to agree with us. In reality, Joe and his children absolutely have the right to refuse any dietary restrictions. The right to disagree with any nursing home decision is a law, it really is. But modern life teaches that medical workers are not to be disagreed with so Joe is stuck eating food he doesn't like.
     As I became vocal about my displeasure with this concept, more people I worked with took sides too. On one occasion I actually got into a shouting match with our head Dietician (whom I was very friendly with). I also occasionally received anonymous notes and articles in my mailbox concerning this very topic. One anonymous party left me an article about a doctor in southern Ohio who completely eliminated all restrictive diets in his nursing home. This would have been about 2004 or so. He felt as I do... they have nothing left. Let them enjoy what little pleasure they can find in life.What are we proving by trying to make a very old person "healthy"?
     What is life without joy? If food is one of the very few joys they have left, then why deny them that pleasure. In the rule book somewhere it says that if somebody's cholesterol is too high then they should lower it. Period. End of sentence. Except I don't buy that. I think that if somebody should be allowed to die with have high cholesterol if they want.
      Redd Foxx used to talk about a friend of his. This friend gave up alcohol, tobacco, women, gambling and unhealthy foods. Redd said, "He's gonna feel like a damn fool layin' up in the hospital bed dyin' from nothin'.