On Hating Your Own Food

     Page Twenty-Four.
     Have you ever been a Personal Chef and had a job where you hated your own food so much that McDonald's was your regular stop on the way home? I'm serious. Let me tell you the story.
     I was hired on by an otherwise pleasant household to come and cook a few days per week. I was also invited to always stick around and eat whatever I made. The job started out well enough and the money was much needed. Problem was, there was Asperger's in the home. At first I thought, "I can handle this, after all I've dealt with far stranger things in life". In fact, the person in question could be charming. But what caused the problem were the demands made on my menus. Shortly after I arrived, The family member in question convinced everybody else that an ultra-low fat diet was the healthiest way to live. Subsequently, I was told to make meals which contained no more than six grams of fat. Now, six grams of fat per meal is low. I mean that's LOW. LOW!!! Allowing for three meals per day that equals eighteen grams of fat per day. I bet an Anorexic tries to stay between five and ten. Weight Watchers, last I heard, allowed thirty per day to loose weight at a healthy speed. An average healthy-weight American needs, perhaps, forty to maintain their weight. One McDonald's Big Mac contains twenty-nine grams of fat.
     This person acquired cook books and gave them to me. This person learned a lot about nutrition. I was then instructed on the assets of an ultra-low fat diet. I was gradually given stricter and stricter guidelines to follow. WOW! Was that food bad or what?
     For the record, I'm in decent shape. Anybody meeting me might say that I could loose 6-9 pounds but no more. I'd like to loose two inches around my waste. I typically eat rather nutritious food. It's what I crave most often: salads, vegetables, fruits, lean meats, water and so forth. I also love the crap but I really don't crave it as often. I really do know and live healthy eating. (Plus, I exercise a fair amount.) So, I can be pretty objective about this topic. I'm telling you that the food I made just sucked.
     There were also food allergies in the home which added a further level of complication. (I was told in advance that the food allergies were psychosomatic.) Additionally in the home: one vegetarian and one deer hunter who loved venison.
     One day after I'd been there a year or longer, the phone rang and it was a relative. I took the message and then they began talking with me 'cause they'd heard about me. They said. "Jeremy, how do you feel having to make food that tastes like sh**?"  I hemmed and hawed and tried to be diplomatic but they'd have none of it. They just went on and on about how people knew what I was capable of and how I was stuck making terrible food. I was also told that all the relatives had been looking forward to coming over on a regular basis to eat my food, but as the menu changed to accommodate the ultra-low fat requirements, family members were making more and more excuses not to come. I wish I were making this up.
     That job lasted a little while. They would always give me a great reference if I ever asked for one. But I'll tell you, I probably ate more fast food food while working there than I have since becoming an adult. I simply wouldn't eat that stuff. I wouldn't give it to a dog.