Michael Jackson In Concert - A Review

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Four.

      Now there's talk of an Michael Jackson hologram concert tour?  Is this true? I hope I only heard the newest urban legend. I realize that people are so desperate for him they really would pay to see something like that, but I think it would be creepy and gross. If promoters are going to do something like that, than is a hologram concert tour of, say, Al Jolson far behind? After all, Jolson is considered possibly the greatest entertainer of the 20th century, regardless of genre of era. But why stop there? How about Frank Sinatra, John Lennon or Billie Holiday? I mean, come on. Really people. Just come on.
     I saw MJ live in concert twice. First in '84 at the old Cleveland Browns Stadium on the Victory tour with his brothers and then again in '88 at the old Richfield Coliseum where he performed solo. I suppose that's why I'm able to sleep soundly at night. I simply saw my MJ needs met.
     The '88 concert was the night prior to a mid-term and I did the only logical thing: I brought my books and notes with me and studied at the show. It made perfect sense to me. After all, I knew that he'd have some ridiculous magician as his opening act. He always did. So, during Houdini's act, I studied. (Now there's someone I'd see live in hologram, Harry Houdini.) Everybody sitting around me was staring, too. But as people stared, pointed their fingers and laughed I simply explained my mid-term the next day and they all wished me luck. I'm not making any of this up, either. That Introduction to Mass Communications mid-term would go on to become the first "A" that I'd ever receive on a mid-term or final. So there!!!
     Michael Jackson live in concert - solo, rating: 10/10.
     Victory Tour: 9/10. (Staging and theatrics just a tad too dippy for my taste.) 

Quito Chapter 6. Miss Wanda Villain

     Page Two Hundred Thirty.
     Everybody rushed to answer the door when the chimes rang. (It's always fun to answer the door when the bell rings 'cause you always hope it'll be a surprise for you. It's like in the movie The Music Man when all the town's folk are singing about The Wells Fargo Wagon, hoping it'll be bringing something wonderful for each of them.) When Jordan opened the over-sized, creamy white, French style, front doors, they all saw a very attractive and smiling collie. She was darker than TV's Lassie, but very beautiful. She was carrying a small, charming, suede, purple purse; wearing a fetching purple wool felt pillbox hat with a little silk veil covering her eyes and snout; had tasteful but noticeable ruby drop earrings and had multiple ruby bangle bracelets about her front two furry legs.She was also wearing the most extraordinary perfume. She smelled like a giant bouquet of yellow roses.
     "Hello everybody. May I please speak with Quito", she barked while looking around at all the children and Quito. Her bark was graceful and refined.
     "I'm Quito", he arfed in response.
     "Quito, my name is Wanda Villain and  you don't know me but I know you and I'd like to offer you a job. May I please come in and sit down?
     Quito and all the kids looked at each other nervously but with curiosity also. Their expressions to each other were all saying, "what's going on?" But they were polite enough to know that when guests arrive at your door, you always invite them in and offer them food and drink regardless of the circumstances. They all walked Wanda to the parlor, smelling and sniffing her along the way as her perfume really smelled that lovely. Jordan placed a Michael Jackson record on the Victrola and immediately Thriller began playing. They then offered the new doggie some hot, fresh Earl Gray tea which Jackson had just steeped and placed some very thin orange slices into. And to go with the tea and music, there was a plate of toasted, light golden brown crumpets with butter and lemon curd. Wanda clearly loved the crumpets with butter and lemon curd as she delicately gobbled up 7 of them. 
     "Miss Villain, how do you know me?"
     "A little birdie told me about you. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound evasive but you see, I'm acquainted with a family of  Hummingbirds who live outside of my bedroom window and apparently the Tellabirdie Phone System is up and working great. I had know idea that all birds, the entire globe over, are always telling each other all the news of the world. Birds are surprisingly well-informed people and what's more, they have no discretion. They'll tell anybody anything. Actually, they have really big mouths, in spite of the fact that they have really tiny mouths. So a couple of days ago I was talking with Eggbert, that's the father hummingbird, and your name and location happened to come up. You see, I told him that I needed a strong person to appear in my company's commercials and Eggbert told me of your cold-fusion powers. So, I'd like to hire you to be my spokesdog for a new line of extra-sweet and extra-sugary cereals that my company's developing. If I can have somebody like you illustrate how someone can get strong and powerful by eating tons of sugar, then all the kids will buy it and we'll all be rich, rich rich." At that last part, Wanda seemed particularly eager.
     Quito was stunned at first, then he became angry, very angry indeed. His black and white fur actually turned red with fury. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing and he wasn't sure what to be more concerned and upset about, Miss Villain's idea or the fact that all the little birdies in the world knew about his super-powers. He wasn't embarrassed by them or anything, he just didn't think it should be common knowledge. First of all, he virtually never used his powers in the first place, so he had no idea how the birds knew about them. Secondly, he didn't think he'd like the idea of taking the kids to, say, Cedar Point and having some old lady walk up to him and request, "What am I thinking now?" But he also thought that her idea of having him act as a role model for her sugary cereal was gruesome and grotesque.
     "Miss Villain, I think your idea is gruesome and grotesque. And you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking of such a thing. With your money and power, you have so much opportunity to help kids. Why would you want to hurt them like this? You know that those cereals just make kids fat and yucky. How dare you hurt the world's children."
     "WELL I NEVER!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE INSULTING ME LIKE THAT?" Now Wanda was the one who was miffed. "I came here this morning to offer you a job and now you're insulting me? I don't need or deserve this type of treatment." With that, Miss Villain, got up from the lime green French Provincial style sofa, reached to the authentic, priceless, million dollar, 350 year old, antique, gilded, Louis XIV coffee table which was in front of her, hurriedly wrapped a couple of crumpets with lemon curd in a napkin, put them in her charming, suede, purple purse and walked to the over-sized, creamy white, French style front doors, opened, exited and slammed them in a loud huff.
     The kids and Quito just sat, all their jaws dropping almost to the floor and were speechless. After a moment, William was the first to say anything. "Like, far out, Dudes."
     Then Thomas said, "From the likes of things, I think we shan't anticipate seeing her fury paws again anytime soonish."
     Jackson and Wanda both chimed in with similar thoughts.
     Lastly, Quito barked, "Is that lady off her rocker?" They all talked for a few minutes about how crazy they thought Wanda's idea was. But then they heard some barking coming from outside.
     "You haven't heard the last of me, Quito." Everybody inside the home then rushed to the window just in time to see Wanda get into her 1932 Duesenberg automobile and drive away. 
     "Yup. That lady's nuts", woofed Quito.
Continued next week... Chapter 7. The Fireworks Begin.

Good Luck Charm? Who Knew?

     Page Forty-Seven.
     On pages 37-39, I talked about my history with learning disabilities. I shared that situation in hopes that it would inspire parents of children who may be experiencing something similar and cause it's an interesting story. Here's an addendum.
     It was '88. I was taking one of my first Communication classes, Introduction to Mass Communications. This is the study of radio, television, movies and magazines. Mass. Comm. bored me to tears. I was much more into Interpersonal Comm. which is, essentially, the study of conversation. Interpersonal would go on to be my major but I was required to take the class in question. It was like Chinese water torture.
     It was finals week and I realized that the night before my Mas Comm final I had tickets to go to a concert. I won't get into this subject deeply now, but I went to a LOT of concerts during the '80's. Most of the big names, I saw. Go ahead... name a major, pop act of the '80's, I probably saw them. The only glaring exceptions would be the Hair Metal Bands. (I wasn't into hair metal at all.) Otherwise, I probably went to fifty or more concerts of  top acts. So the night before my final I was supposed to see Michael Jackson, for the second time.  
     This would've been his Bad Tour. Previously, I attended the Victory Tour in '84. I know all of you are great students out there. I'm sure that any responsible student would say, "Oh well. Michael will just have to wait. After all, a final is a big important thing. We can't take chances with that, now can we? We need to stay home and study so as to get a really good grade and therefore get a nice respectable job. Michael Jackson? Hogwash! A good grade in Introduction to Mass Communications is more important than seeing him perform live." I know that all of you would've said just exactly that. I didn't. I took my books and my notes with me to the concert and began my studying there.
     If memory serves correctly, his opening act was a magician. So, during that portion of the evening I organized my notes. Then during the break before MJ came on I actually did study: the notes and the book. People around me found this amusing for some reason. They asked me about it. I explained the situation. Isn't this how EVERYBODY crams for a final??? Then MJ came on and I took a much needed break. (Thirty minutes of heavily interrupted, low quality studying was far more than enough anyhow.) He sang and danced. He wore a jacket with electric lights built into it while singing Beat It. All in all, he was up to my standards.
     The next morning, I studied a few more minutes, ten? fifteen? I got my very first "A" on any final I would take in college. From this situation I learned that Michael Jackson was my good luck charm. He got me started on a string of "A's" on Communications finals. Thanks, Michael.