Brussels Sprouts

     Page One Hundred Eighty-Eight.
     How can one food insight such violence in people as Brussels Sprouts? Kids almost always hate them. Many adults feel them to be the devil's food. But in fact, if you ask, many will admit to never even having tried them. They've "heard" how yucky they are. So there!
     Also, Br-Sprouts suffer from being one of those foods which many people simply don't know what to do with. They look at them in the grocery store and wonder what far away galaxy they arrived from so many trillions of years ago. 
     Or worse yet, some adults have childhood memories of mushy, tan-green, gruesome, zombie food on their dinner plates which they were then guilted into eating. "Don't you know how many starving people on Park Avenue would be happy to have that?!?!"
     I was never exposed to them during my childhood so I really have no association, either positive or negative. During my 20's, while a live-in nanny, they were occasionally prepared by the respective families I worked for. I tasted them and liked them very much. It was during my 30's and preparing them myself, with mixed success, that I began realizing one major problem. There's no food which tastes more different, fresh or frozen then Sprouts. Frozen Sprouts are one of the vilest foods on this or any other planet. And I've visited many solar systems in my lifetime. I know.
     Just to clarify, I'm perfectly fine with most frozen foods. Mixed vegetables, chicken nuggets, Stouffer's mac 'n cheese... I'm really okay with most of it. But over the years I've realized that frozen Br-Sprouts rate desperately low, right down there with frozen waffles, on the yum-yum scale. Meaning: they're awful. Just terrible. Horrible, in fact. And I don't know why.
      I'm not aware that Birdseye or Green Giant processes them differently than, say, corn or peas. But for some unknown reason, when cooked up from frozen, Brussels Sprouts are bitter, vomit-like zombie food. When prepared from fresh, though, the identical vegetable is sweet, crisp, citrucy-bright and cheerful like a May sunrise over evergreen mountains. And that's BEFORE you add the Lawry's seasoned salt and olive oil.
     Which brings me to my final theory on their unpopularity: Many people born post-1950 have only ever tried them from frozen. Let's be honest... it's probably true. The American working class and middle-class have relied heavily on frozen for many of their vegetables for much of the last 60+ years. I think the very likely possibility of exposure only to Br-Sprouts straight from the deep freeze may be contributing heavily to it's unwarranted pariah status. They're just that bad.
     If you are one of the legions who hate them, try them fresh sometime. And now they even have them pre-sliced in microwaveable bags. Simply cut open the bag, sprinkle on your Lawry's, pour on your olive oil, then re-seal the bag and micro. Oh my Lordy, they're happy.

On Increasing Body Weight Without Consuming More Fat

     Page One Hundred-Thirty-One.
     This morning, at the beauty salon, I mentioned to one of our clients my work with food. After telling her some of my experiences, she asked me for some advice. Her question kind of threw me for a moment "cause it's precisely opposite of the types of things so many people ask.
     "Jeremy, Let me tell you something. My husband recently had open-heart surgery. He's lost twenty-five pounds since they cut him open and the problem is, he really can't afford to loose that weight. He's always been a little bit too slender and the doctors want me to put the pounds back on him. And, I'm not a cook. I never  learned how or was interested. What can I do to increase his weight but not with fatty foods, because that's what he's not allowed to eat. And, how can I do it simply, because I can't cook?"
     "Whew." I thought to myself. That's a new one. What little fat he has consumed during the last seventy year went straight to his arteries. So, I thought for a moment. "Does he have diabetes?"
     "No.It's just fat that he's not allowed."
     "How about salt?"
     "His doctors said he can have that too."
     "Dose he like fruit?"
     "Yes."
     "Good. Start making him lots of fruit plates and sprinkle some powdered sugar on the fruit. You actually can increase the calories without increasing fat. Also, does he like breads and rolls "
     "Not a lot. But he'll eat those things if I serve them."
     "Good. Give him some rolls with his dinner every night and give him some dipping oil made with olive oil. He's allowed olive oil, right?"
     "Yes."
     "Good. Then just pour some oil into a dish, like they do in fancy restaurants. Then sprinkle on some Lawry's seasoned salt and mix it for a second. Also, give him lots of starchy vegetables like potatoes, beans and corn. You won't put the weight back on him overnight. It'll take some time, many months. But you can do it." (I gave her this blog address too. So Sara, if you're reading this right now, add rice and pasta to that list.)
     She was quite appreciative of my suggestions. I wish him, and her, positive health in their future.