Brussels Sprouts

     Page One Hundred Eighty-Eight.
     How can one food insight such violence in people as Brussels Sprouts? Kids almost always hate them. Many adults feel them to be the devil's food. But in fact, if you ask, many will admit to never even having tried them. They've "heard" how yucky they are. So there!
     Also, Br-Sprouts suffer from being one of those foods which many people simply don't know what to do with. They look at them in the grocery store and wonder what far away galaxy they arrived from so many trillions of years ago. 
     Or worse yet, some adults have childhood memories of mushy, tan-green, gruesome, zombie food on their dinner plates which they were then guilted into eating. "Don't you know how many starving people on Park Avenue would be happy to have that?!?!"
     I was never exposed to them during my childhood so I really have no association, either positive or negative. During my 20's, while a live-in nanny, they were occasionally prepared by the respective families I worked for. I tasted them and liked them very much. It was during my 30's and preparing them myself, with mixed success, that I began realizing one major problem. There's no food which tastes more different, fresh or frozen then Sprouts. Frozen Sprouts are one of the vilest foods on this or any other planet. And I've visited many solar systems in my lifetime. I know.
     Just to clarify, I'm perfectly fine with most frozen foods. Mixed vegetables, chicken nuggets, Stouffer's mac 'n cheese... I'm really okay with most of it. But over the years I've realized that frozen Br-Sprouts rate desperately low, right down there with frozen waffles, on the yum-yum scale. Meaning: they're awful. Just terrible. Horrible, in fact. And I don't know why.
      I'm not aware that Birdseye or Green Giant processes them differently than, say, corn or peas. But for some unknown reason, when cooked up from frozen, Brussels Sprouts are bitter, vomit-like zombie food. When prepared from fresh, though, the identical vegetable is sweet, crisp, citrucy-bright and cheerful like a May sunrise over evergreen mountains. And that's BEFORE you add the Lawry's seasoned salt and olive oil.
     Which brings me to my final theory on their unpopularity: Many people born post-1950 have only ever tried them from frozen. Let's be honest... it's probably true. The American working class and middle-class have relied heavily on frozen for many of their vegetables for much of the last 60+ years. I think the very likely possibility of exposure only to Br-Sprouts straight from the deep freeze may be contributing heavily to it's unwarranted pariah status. They're just that bad.
     If you are one of the legions who hate them, try them fresh sometime. And now they even have them pre-sliced in microwaveable bags. Simply cut open the bag, sprinkle on your Lawry's, pour on your olive oil, then re-seal the bag and micro. Oh my Lordy, they're happy.