Page Sixty-Eight.
I used to run for exercise. I ran a fair amount from the mid-90's until the mid-2000's. I probably averaged twenty-thirty miles a week with my typical run being four or five miles in length. In December of 2002, I decided that I wanted to try to run twelve miles in one shot. I'd never run that distance, and I just wanted to see if I could.
I spent all week psyching myself up for it with Saturday afternoon being the time of destiny. I had my route planned (the route, unfortunately, included some yucky hills, which are virtually impossible to avoid in my hometown of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, but too bad). I didn't run on Thursday or Friday to conserve my energy and I got lots of sleep on Friday night.
What I hadn't planned on was the weather. I woke up to a mild, first winter snow on Saturday. Funny that I should have been surprised by snow in Cleveland in December but I was. I didn't let it stop me though; I decided to run anyhow.
Now what does one eat just prior to attempting to run twelve miles? I had some leftover pepperoni pizza in the fridge, so I ate that along with drinking a cup of coffee. My roommate at the time was a very young vegan engineer student who found me and my spare bedroom on Case Western Reserve University's off campus housing bureau. (Case is a few blocks away from me.) He thought I was crazy for eating pepperoni pizza and coffee just prior to attempting a twelve mile run, but I didn't care. I ate it and off I started.
My route was actually a very large circle around my neighborhood. The circle was four miles long and I simply did it three times, so I was really never too far from home. I had some good music on my Walkman and I just ran. Forrest Gump had nothing on me.
The snow wasn't bad, actually, and in fact, was rather refreshing. I wasn't happy about the hills but they didn't deter me. The pizza stayed where it was supposed to and the caffeine in the coffee kept me going. All in all, it could've been much worse. By the time I completed the major hill for the third time, and was only two miles from finishing, I actually contemplated adding an extra couple of miles. I had that much energy reserved. But I opted not to and proceeded home.
When I got home, I took my shower and was watching TV before my roommate emerged from his bedroom. He was very shocked that I'd completed my task while fortified with such trash as pepperoni pizza. But he admitted defeat. Vegans don't really know everything.
That was the longest run I'd ever do. I eventually switched to long walks and I enjoy my four or five mile walks nowadays. Occasionally I still run though and I insist that they're best after a few slices of pepperoni pizza.
Jeremy Gutow is a Cleveland-based male nanny and private chef. He also manages a beauty salon.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Gomorran Stew
Page Sixty-Seven.
Some time ago, I was traveling in the Middle-East. I'd stayed in Gomorrah for a couple of days and then I went on to Sodom. As those two cities were known for not being hospitable to strangers, I was a bit nervous about visiting them. But like so much gossip and hearsay, my experiences were nowhere near as bad as I was anticipating. In fact, I did actually make some friends with whom I stayed in contact for many years following.
I was staying in hostels on my trip, just to save money, and one night in Sodom, my roommate was Florence Nightingale. We talked until all hours. Then, on another night, I had two roommates, Thomas Jefferson and Angela Davis, who were traveling companions. (I was really surprised by how much they argued, considering the fact that they chose to travel together.) While staying in Gomorrah one night I met Rudolph Valentino. He wasn't staying in my room but he was in another room on my floor and I met him downstairs in the lobby. (Everybody was fawning all over him but he didn't seem to mind.)
The highlight of the trip though, was one evening when I was out dancing at a disco in Gomorrah. I happened to meet a young women named Pipsi who was in University to become a social worker. She'd just taken her finals earlier that day and was out blowing off steam. We got to talking and she mentioned that she wanted to work with disturbed youth. I told her of my experiences as a live-in nanny and we instantly had much in common. (Though none of the kids I've even nannied were certifiably "disturbed", working so closely with youth is a distinction, none-the-less.) After the disco closed we went to this little place around the corner. It was really a hole-in-the-wall, but it was the only place that was open, so in we went.
Pipsi ordered some taco-style pizza and I got some stew. Well, I have to tell you this was some of the best stew I've ever had in my life. I simply inhaled the stuff. It was too good for words. I just couldn't figure out what it was about the stuff, so I asked the waiter. He told me that this stew was one of the house's signature dishes and it was really very well known. In fact, every time Genghis Khan came to town he ordered it for his entire army. The stew was served with hot, seeded rye bread and a very good side salad which was unusual in that it was topped with cold, cooked green beans, peas, asparagus and feta cheese.
But, really, I couldn't get over how good the stew was. After much badgering, the waiter finally gave me the secret. (The waiter knew 'cause his father was the chef/owner of the joint.) Here it is:
Fry up a few pieces of bacon. Then remove the bacon to a separate dish and add one whole sliced onion to the bacon fat and saute until glossy. (If there isn't enough bacon fat to comfortably saute, add a little butter to the pan.) While the onions are cooking, chop the bacon into small pieces. When the onion is done, add it along with the bacon to a typical stew recipe. Then to the stew add one can of beer, one tablespoon of brown sugar and a few shakes of caraway seeds. Cook this stew for a normal amount of time, until the beef is tender. (If your stew recipe calls for onions omit them, because of the cooked onions you've just added. Also, omit some of the cooking liquid from your recipe 'cause of the 12 ounces of beer in the Gomorran recipe.)
That's it. I'm telling you, this combination of stuff is deadly good.
I kept in touch with Pipsi for a while, but she eventually married and moved to Machu Picchu to work with Incan youth. Just recently we friended each other on Facebook and she wants me to come for a visit. Maybe one of these days...
Some time ago, I was traveling in the Middle-East. I'd stayed in Gomorrah for a couple of days and then I went on to Sodom. As those two cities were known for not being hospitable to strangers, I was a bit nervous about visiting them. But like so much gossip and hearsay, my experiences were nowhere near as bad as I was anticipating. In fact, I did actually make some friends with whom I stayed in contact for many years following.
I was staying in hostels on my trip, just to save money, and one night in Sodom, my roommate was Florence Nightingale. We talked until all hours. Then, on another night, I had two roommates, Thomas Jefferson and Angela Davis, who were traveling companions. (I was really surprised by how much they argued, considering the fact that they chose to travel together.) While staying in Gomorrah one night I met Rudolph Valentino. He wasn't staying in my room but he was in another room on my floor and I met him downstairs in the lobby. (Everybody was fawning all over him but he didn't seem to mind.)
The highlight of the trip though, was one evening when I was out dancing at a disco in Gomorrah. I happened to meet a young women named Pipsi who was in University to become a social worker. She'd just taken her finals earlier that day and was out blowing off steam. We got to talking and she mentioned that she wanted to work with disturbed youth. I told her of my experiences as a live-in nanny and we instantly had much in common. (Though none of the kids I've even nannied were certifiably "disturbed", working so closely with youth is a distinction, none-the-less.) After the disco closed we went to this little place around the corner. It was really a hole-in-the-wall, but it was the only place that was open, so in we went.
Pipsi ordered some taco-style pizza and I got some stew. Well, I have to tell you this was some of the best stew I've ever had in my life. I simply inhaled the stuff. It was too good for words. I just couldn't figure out what it was about the stuff, so I asked the waiter. He told me that this stew was one of the house's signature dishes and it was really very well known. In fact, every time Genghis Khan came to town he ordered it for his entire army. The stew was served with hot, seeded rye bread and a very good side salad which was unusual in that it was topped with cold, cooked green beans, peas, asparagus and feta cheese.
But, really, I couldn't get over how good the stew was. After much badgering, the waiter finally gave me the secret. (The waiter knew 'cause his father was the chef/owner of the joint.) Here it is:
Fry up a few pieces of bacon. Then remove the bacon to a separate dish and add one whole sliced onion to the bacon fat and saute until glossy. (If there isn't enough bacon fat to comfortably saute, add a little butter to the pan.) While the onions are cooking, chop the bacon into small pieces. When the onion is done, add it along with the bacon to a typical stew recipe. Then to the stew add one can of beer, one tablespoon of brown sugar and a few shakes of caraway seeds. Cook this stew for a normal amount of time, until the beef is tender. (If your stew recipe calls for onions omit them, because of the cooked onions you've just added. Also, omit some of the cooking liquid from your recipe 'cause of the 12 ounces of beer in the Gomorran recipe.)
That's it. I'm telling you, this combination of stuff is deadly good.
I kept in touch with Pipsi for a while, but she eventually married and moved to Machu Picchu to work with Incan youth. Just recently we friended each other on Facebook and she wants me to come for a visit. Maybe one of these days...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Gruesome Kitchen Injuries
Page Sixty-Six.
What's the worst injury you've ever sustained while cooking?
It was 1979 and I was working at the Subconscious Sandwich Shop where we made really good submarine sandwiches. (One of our secrets was the fact that we sprinkled oregano on all our sandwiches.) So it was 8 or 9PM on a Saturday night and I was scheduled to work until 2AM. It was a little slow, so in preparation for the late evening rush, I started slicing onions. Our machine was a large, industrial slicer. It was the type with the round, dinner plate-sized blade and you put the onion (or what ever needed to be sliced) against the metal, then put the protective handle down over the onion and then just zipped it back and forth along the track and the blade did all the work. Well, I was careless and didn't use the protective handle properly and as I was zipping the onion back and forth, I noticed that the sliced onions were turning red. I hadn't felt a single thing.
My boss just happened to be in the shop at the time and I went out front to show her the many liters of blood that I was quickly loosing. She had a couple of friends with her: two doctors. One of them was concerned, the other wasn't. The one who wasn't concerned put what was left of my finger under water for a moment and the bleeding did appear to slow down. (Probably, I'd simply run out of blood and my body was busy trying to make more.) But the doctor who was concerned told me to call my boss occasionally at home to let her know the status of my life. They would all be at her home eating a glorious homemade French dinner together.
Two or three phone calls and three gallons of blood later my boss and the concerned doctor were driving me to the local emergency room where I needed six stitches to sew my finger back on to my being. I'm sure the physician spent more time putting me together than Doctor Frankenstein did on his creation.
The upside to this story is that I ended up with a doctor's note excusing me from gym class for a week. Seems that too much exercise could've caused me to start bleeding again. I did in fact continue to bleed even after the stitches were put in. I also entertained the resident (the young physician in training who was taking care of me) and that was fun. He'd probably been up for a couple of days and was absolutely slap happy. So I told him some funny stories of my life while he was putting me back together. At one point he was laughing so hard he had to stop sewing so he wouldn't screw up my stitches. (Ten-fifteen days later while the Boss-Doc was taking out my stitches he was extremely complementary to the resident. They were concerned that I'd need a skin graft. But the resident was so good at reattaching my own skin, a graft was unnecessary.)
I still have the scar and that finger nail is also permanently disfigured (though mildly). Hopefully that will be the worst kitchen injury I'll ever sustain.
What's the worst injury you've ever sustained while cooking?
It was 1979 and I was working at the Subconscious Sandwich Shop where we made really good submarine sandwiches. (One of our secrets was the fact that we sprinkled oregano on all our sandwiches.) So it was 8 or 9PM on a Saturday night and I was scheduled to work until 2AM. It was a little slow, so in preparation for the late evening rush, I started slicing onions. Our machine was a large, industrial slicer. It was the type with the round, dinner plate-sized blade and you put the onion (or what ever needed to be sliced) against the metal, then put the protective handle down over the onion and then just zipped it back and forth along the track and the blade did all the work. Well, I was careless and didn't use the protective handle properly and as I was zipping the onion back and forth, I noticed that the sliced onions were turning red. I hadn't felt a single thing.
My boss just happened to be in the shop at the time and I went out front to show her the many liters of blood that I was quickly loosing. She had a couple of friends with her: two doctors. One of them was concerned, the other wasn't. The one who wasn't concerned put what was left of my finger under water for a moment and the bleeding did appear to slow down. (Probably, I'd simply run out of blood and my body was busy trying to make more.) But the doctor who was concerned told me to call my boss occasionally at home to let her know the status of my life. They would all be at her home eating a glorious homemade French dinner together.
Two or three phone calls and three gallons of blood later my boss and the concerned doctor were driving me to the local emergency room where I needed six stitches to sew my finger back on to my being. I'm sure the physician spent more time putting me together than Doctor Frankenstein did on his creation.
The upside to this story is that I ended up with a doctor's note excusing me from gym class for a week. Seems that too much exercise could've caused me to start bleeding again. I did in fact continue to bleed even after the stitches were put in. I also entertained the resident (the young physician in training who was taking care of me) and that was fun. He'd probably been up for a couple of days and was absolutely slap happy. So I told him some funny stories of my life while he was putting me back together. At one point he was laughing so hard he had to stop sewing so he wouldn't screw up my stitches. (Ten-fifteen days later while the Boss-Doc was taking out my stitches he was extremely complementary to the resident. They were concerned that I'd need a skin graft. But the resident was so good at reattaching my own skin, a graft was unnecessary.)
I still have the scar and that finger nail is also permanently disfigured (though mildly). Hopefully that will be the worst kitchen injury I'll ever sustain.
Monday, April 22, 2013
A Really Bad Salad
Page Sixty-Five.
Yesterday, I went to dinner with my sister at one of Cleveland oldest and most well known delicatessens. I wasn't real hungry so I just ordered some French Fries and a side salad. I was quite disappointed in the salad. It was a small bowl filled with a handful of light green iceberg lettuce, one small slice of soft tomato, two thin slices of peeled cucumber and a very light sprinkling of shredded carrot. It was $3.50. In who's dreams is that a good value and who even serves a boring, non-nutritious salad like that anymore?
I don't know about anywhere else, but in the restaurants where I typically eat, here in Cleveland, Ohio, that type of salad hasn't been served in at least a decade and a half. Perhaps the fault is mine in that I naturally gravitate toward places that serve more interesting salads. But really, comparable delis in Cleveland don't even serve that type of plate anymore. My sister noticed it too and she eats out a lot.
I almost could give them the benefit of the doubt and say it was a cost cutting thing. But romaine lettuce is no more money than iceberg anymore, two teaspoons of shredded carrots can't cost too much more than one teaspoon, a couple of grape tomatoes might increase the cost a touch but not a lot, a couple of slices of onion would've been nice, unpeeled cucumber has much needed fiber and doesn't increase cost at all and a very light sprinkling of nuts or dried berries might increase cost by $.25.
While eating the salad, I said, "I would've loved this salad when I was ten years old. Perhaps that's specifically what they're trying to do: create a salad for a very unsophisticated palate. Who knows? And, again, this is a very well known deli here. They do a BIG business. Perhaps that's it. Maybe they figure, "why mess with success?" All I can tell you is, I'm never getting their salads ever again. (I should really write them a letter and let them know my concerns. But, who knows if I will?)
Yesterday, I went to dinner with my sister at one of Cleveland oldest and most well known delicatessens. I wasn't real hungry so I just ordered some French Fries and a side salad. I was quite disappointed in the salad. It was a small bowl filled with a handful of light green iceberg lettuce, one small slice of soft tomato, two thin slices of peeled cucumber and a very light sprinkling of shredded carrot. It was $3.50. In who's dreams is that a good value and who even serves a boring, non-nutritious salad like that anymore?
I don't know about anywhere else, but in the restaurants where I typically eat, here in Cleveland, Ohio, that type of salad hasn't been served in at least a decade and a half. Perhaps the fault is mine in that I naturally gravitate toward places that serve more interesting salads. But really, comparable delis in Cleveland don't even serve that type of plate anymore. My sister noticed it too and she eats out a lot.
I almost could give them the benefit of the doubt and say it was a cost cutting thing. But romaine lettuce is no more money than iceberg anymore, two teaspoons of shredded carrots can't cost too much more than one teaspoon, a couple of grape tomatoes might increase the cost a touch but not a lot, a couple of slices of onion would've been nice, unpeeled cucumber has much needed fiber and doesn't increase cost at all and a very light sprinkling of nuts or dried berries might increase cost by $.25.
While eating the salad, I said, "I would've loved this salad when I was ten years old. Perhaps that's specifically what they're trying to do: create a salad for a very unsophisticated palate. Who knows? And, again, this is a very well known deli here. They do a BIG business. Perhaps that's it. Maybe they figure, "why mess with success?" All I can tell you is, I'm never getting their salads ever again. (I should really write them a letter and let them know my concerns. But, who knows if I will?)
Labels:
Carrots,
Cucumber,
Delicatessens,
Dried Berries,
Iceberg,
Nuts,
Onion,
Romaine,
Salad,
Tomatoes
Friday, April 19, 2013
Just a Typical Day In The Life Of A Male Nanny
Page Sixty-Four.
I'm writing this blog while sitting with Grandma as she's folding shirts.
I'm at work with the family I nanny for and have stuck the chicken in the oven but I have a while before the boys get home. I arrived a little early today actually. I wanted to get the chicken started so it would be ready in time for three ravenous preteen males and now I have nothing to do but work on my blog.
Grandma came over in 1957 from Germany and she often tells me stories of the old country. Even though she's German Protestant by lineage, she was still technically a holocaust survivor; she was in a prison camp though not one of the Jewish ones. It's a long story, but her ancestors emigrated some generations earlier to a German colony in Romania, therefore, she was "the enemy" during WWII as Romania was a Russian ally.
Grandma is eighty-five and lost her husband about twenty years ago. They came to America together and became a success story. They were very blue collar upon their arrival, in fact Grandma did housecleaning and cooking to help pay the bills. But they had one daughter and sent her to medical school. "Doc" would become mom to the three boys in question (and one daughter who's away at college). So nowadays, Grandma lives here and still helps tremendously with the daily life of the home. In fact, when I was brand new on this job, in February of 2011, she told me that Doc and Son-In-Law initially hired me to help her with the children. (But as I have a history of being rather assertive, rewriting my job description and doing my own thing, it really wasn't too long before we were coexisting on parallel planes and divvying up the work load.)
At the moment though, the big drama in this house is Billy-Bob-Joe's birthday which is tomorrow. He'll be eleven and he's the pickiest eater in the house. So cooking special for him is always a challenge. But, he wants the same thing as last year: a fondue dinner. I mean he wants fondue everything. We actually did that last year, I have the three fondue pots to prove it. But this year, I convinced him to mix it up a little. Instead of the cheese fondue we'll start dinner with a cheese platter of his favorites: Camembert and St.Andre (both of which I introduced him too) plus Havarti, which he's never had. And also on the platter will be a little caviar that he loves (I introduced him to that also). Then, we'll have a spinach salad followed by the actual fondue of beef chunks in one pot and onion rings in another. (I know that onion rings are hardly a typical fondue fare, but really, the kid is eleven. So screw tradition.) They adore my onion rings in this house too: they're always a big sell. Then for dessert: an ice cream cake. I think he'll be very happy.
(Incidentally, to make the best onion ring batter, thoroughly mix 1 & 1/2 cups beer with an equal amount of flour. Then let it sit out on the counter for two hours. Dip the rings in that then fry up. It's great.)
I'm writing this blog while sitting with Grandma as she's folding shirts.
I'm at work with the family I nanny for and have stuck the chicken in the oven but I have a while before the boys get home. I arrived a little early today actually. I wanted to get the chicken started so it would be ready in time for three ravenous preteen males and now I have nothing to do but work on my blog.
Grandma came over in 1957 from Germany and she often tells me stories of the old country. Even though she's German Protestant by lineage, she was still technically a holocaust survivor; she was in a prison camp though not one of the Jewish ones. It's a long story, but her ancestors emigrated some generations earlier to a German colony in Romania, therefore, she was "the enemy" during WWII as Romania was a Russian ally.
Grandma is eighty-five and lost her husband about twenty years ago. They came to America together and became a success story. They were very blue collar upon their arrival, in fact Grandma did housecleaning and cooking to help pay the bills. But they had one daughter and sent her to medical school. "Doc" would become mom to the three boys in question (and one daughter who's away at college). So nowadays, Grandma lives here and still helps tremendously with the daily life of the home. In fact, when I was brand new on this job, in February of 2011, she told me that Doc and Son-In-Law initially hired me to help her with the children. (But as I have a history of being rather assertive, rewriting my job description and doing my own thing, it really wasn't too long before we were coexisting on parallel planes and divvying up the work load.)
At the moment though, the big drama in this house is Billy-Bob-Joe's birthday which is tomorrow. He'll be eleven and he's the pickiest eater in the house. So cooking special for him is always a challenge. But, he wants the same thing as last year: a fondue dinner. I mean he wants fondue everything. We actually did that last year, I have the three fondue pots to prove it. But this year, I convinced him to mix it up a little. Instead of the cheese fondue we'll start dinner with a cheese platter of his favorites: Camembert and St.Andre (both of which I introduced him too) plus Havarti, which he's never had. And also on the platter will be a little caviar that he loves (I introduced him to that also). Then, we'll have a spinach salad followed by the actual fondue of beef chunks in one pot and onion rings in another. (I know that onion rings are hardly a typical fondue fare, but really, the kid is eleven. So screw tradition.) They adore my onion rings in this house too: they're always a big sell. Then for dessert: an ice cream cake. I think he'll be very happy.
(Incidentally, to make the best onion ring batter, thoroughly mix 1 & 1/2 cups beer with an equal amount of flour. Then let it sit out on the counter for two hours. Dip the rings in that then fry up. It's great.)
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
My Cooking Resume
Page Sixty-Three.
You know, considering the fact that I successfully(?) pass myself off as a private chef, I really have very little professional experience. And, I really don't try to ever deceive anyone into thinking that my cooking resume is fat. It just isn't.
I've had three food service positions in my life. 1) In the eleventh and twelfth grade, 1978-1979, I made submarine sandwiches at a sandwich shop on Taylor Road, here in Cleveland Heights. 2) In the summer between eleventh and twelfth, 1979, I temporarily quit the sub shop and spent the summer working in a family-style restaurant where I apprenticed as their ice cream sundae-maker (this restaurant was known city-wide for their over-the-top ice cream sundaes). 3) From 1999 until 2002 I was a barista at a local coffee bar. That's is. Now, of course, I also have years of experience working as a nanny and elder-care provider and those positions bring with them much food prep. And with most of my positions I did actual cooking, not Kraft mac 'n cheese or "quick 'n easy" recipes.
I also took cooking classes for a while. Cleveland has it's share of reputable cooking schools and in the spring of 2008, I took the entire recreational track at one of those schools. Meaning: Level I was every Tuesday morning in February; Level II was each Tuesday morning in March and III was in April. We were taught many kitchen basics and those classes really did fill some gaps.
But primarily, I'm self-taught. I began cooking for myself when I was four, I read cookbooks for pleasure and experiment a lot in the kitchen, what with my job nannying for a large family. So I tell people I'm a private chef. And, they buy it. Thus, it pays my bills (mostly).
You know, considering the fact that I successfully(?) pass myself off as a private chef, I really have very little professional experience. And, I really don't try to ever deceive anyone into thinking that my cooking resume is fat. It just isn't.
I've had three food service positions in my life. 1) In the eleventh and twelfth grade, 1978-1979, I made submarine sandwiches at a sandwich shop on Taylor Road, here in Cleveland Heights. 2) In the summer between eleventh and twelfth, 1979, I temporarily quit the sub shop and spent the summer working in a family-style restaurant where I apprenticed as their ice cream sundae-maker (this restaurant was known city-wide for their over-the-top ice cream sundaes). 3) From 1999 until 2002 I was a barista at a local coffee bar. That's is. Now, of course, I also have years of experience working as a nanny and elder-care provider and those positions bring with them much food prep. And with most of my positions I did actual cooking, not Kraft mac 'n cheese or "quick 'n easy" recipes.
I also took cooking classes for a while. Cleveland has it's share of reputable cooking schools and in the spring of 2008, I took the entire recreational track at one of those schools. Meaning: Level I was every Tuesday morning in February; Level II was each Tuesday morning in March and III was in April. We were taught many kitchen basics and those classes really did fill some gaps.
But primarily, I'm self-taught. I began cooking for myself when I was four, I read cookbooks for pleasure and experiment a lot in the kitchen, what with my job nannying for a large family. So I tell people I'm a private chef. And, they buy it. Thus, it pays my bills (mostly).
Monday, April 15, 2013
Luke Skywalker's Cheese Sauce
Page Sixty-Two
Some time ago, I was eating dinner with Henry VIII. It was at his home and he decided to have a low-key potluck. He felt like having some friends over but didn't want the royal staff to get into a tizzy feeding everybody. So he told all the guests to bring their favorite things. (Though, he was married to Ann Boleyn at the time and she made a mean Chicken Chop Suey which ended up being one of our main courses.) Among the guests were Greta Garbo who brought a crock pot filled with mini meatballs in a sweet/sour sauce; Samson and Delilah (pigs in a blanket); Plato (spinach salad with strawberries and walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette); Adonis (cole slaw) and Mary Todd Lincoln (chocolate cheesecake). There were many other guests also; these are just a few who stick in my memory. I brought some heat 'n serve rolls.
The thing I remember best about the evening though, is the broccoli with cheese sauce that Luke Sywalker presented. It was probably the best cheese sauce I've ever eaten and Luke was gracious enough to share the secret with anybody who asked. Essentially, it comes down to three special ingredients: paprika, mustard and Worcestershire. That's it! A few shakes of paprika, a quick squeeze of mustard and a few dashes of Worcestershire will liven up the most drab cheese sauce recipe. But you have to add all three, you can't mix and match. The three together create a very specific taste which is what sets this sauce apart.
Ever since that fateful evening at Henry's I've always added those three things to my cheese sauce, whether it be for mac 'n cheese or the aforementioned broccoli. It always works. Enjoy.
Some time ago, I was eating dinner with Henry VIII. It was at his home and he decided to have a low-key potluck. He felt like having some friends over but didn't want the royal staff to get into a tizzy feeding everybody. So he told all the guests to bring their favorite things. (Though, he was married to Ann Boleyn at the time and she made a mean Chicken Chop Suey which ended up being one of our main courses.) Among the guests were Greta Garbo who brought a crock pot filled with mini meatballs in a sweet/sour sauce; Samson and Delilah (pigs in a blanket); Plato (spinach salad with strawberries and walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette); Adonis (cole slaw) and Mary Todd Lincoln (chocolate cheesecake). There were many other guests also; these are just a few who stick in my memory. I brought some heat 'n serve rolls.
The thing I remember best about the evening though, is the broccoli with cheese sauce that Luke Sywalker presented. It was probably the best cheese sauce I've ever eaten and Luke was gracious enough to share the secret with anybody who asked. Essentially, it comes down to three special ingredients: paprika, mustard and Worcestershire. That's it! A few shakes of paprika, a quick squeeze of mustard and a few dashes of Worcestershire will liven up the most drab cheese sauce recipe. But you have to add all three, you can't mix and match. The three together create a very specific taste which is what sets this sauce apart.
Ever since that fateful evening at Henry's I've always added those three things to my cheese sauce, whether it be for mac 'n cheese or the aforementioned broccoli. It always works. Enjoy.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Meeting Mabel
Page Sixty-One.
When I was new in the activities department of Fancy-Shmancy Nursing Home in 2003, it took me a few weeks to meet all the residents. Gradually though, I met everybody and started establishing some pleasant relationships. I was told in advance that one particular woman, Mabel, would be very entertaining. She'd moved into the home about one year earlier at the age of 98 and she'd lived at home by herself until moving into Fancy-Shmancy.
So one afternoon, I went to her room and knocked. I'd already worked in the hospital for a few years, so I knew what to expect. I knew that Mabel would be taking a nap, doing a puzzle, watching a soap or some such thing. After all, like I said, I'd already done this type of thing a thousand times. So, anyhow, I knocked. "Just a minute. Be right there." At least I didn't wake her up, I thought. (I hate waking old people up.) After a long moment, a bright-eyed, small-framed, gray-coiffed, graciously-dressed, very old woman opened the door and with many teeth showing said, "hello, may I help you?" I introduced myself as Jeremy, the new activities assistant, and explained that I was trying to meet all the residents of the home.
"Oh, yes. I heard about you. Please come in." She led me into her her room. "Please forgive my delay in opening the door. I was in the middle of emailing a friend in China when you knocked." That told me everything right there. This 99 year old lady, in 2003, was emailing a friend in China. I realized right then that this was no ordinary, old lady. She was hip and knew what was going on. She wasn't scared of any technology or new gadgetry. Her attitude was "Bring It On, Baby". She amazed me. Today, I know people half her age who are substantially more intimidated by technology than she ever was.
We would go on to become quite friendly. I visited her regularly, even after I got my promotion to activity coordinator of the dementia units. She would have to give up the computer about three years later (age 102) because her eyesight would fail. She would die four years after that (age 106). The last couple years of her life, I only saw her on Christmas. I'd eventually quit working at Fancy-Shmancy, but continued volunteering there. One of my regular volunteer gigs was covering Christmas; I visited all the residents in the home on that day and Mabel always gave me some See's chocolate which friends sent her for the holidays. She never lost her faculties either.
I'll never forget the 99 year old lady whom I interrupted on the computer.
When I was new in the activities department of Fancy-Shmancy Nursing Home in 2003, it took me a few weeks to meet all the residents. Gradually though, I met everybody and started establishing some pleasant relationships. I was told in advance that one particular woman, Mabel, would be very entertaining. She'd moved into the home about one year earlier at the age of 98 and she'd lived at home by herself until moving into Fancy-Shmancy.
So one afternoon, I went to her room and knocked. I'd already worked in the hospital for a few years, so I knew what to expect. I knew that Mabel would be taking a nap, doing a puzzle, watching a soap or some such thing. After all, like I said, I'd already done this type of thing a thousand times. So, anyhow, I knocked. "Just a minute. Be right there." At least I didn't wake her up, I thought. (I hate waking old people up.) After a long moment, a bright-eyed, small-framed, gray-coiffed, graciously-dressed, very old woman opened the door and with many teeth showing said, "hello, may I help you?" I introduced myself as Jeremy, the new activities assistant, and explained that I was trying to meet all the residents of the home.
"Oh, yes. I heard about you. Please come in." She led me into her her room. "Please forgive my delay in opening the door. I was in the middle of emailing a friend in China when you knocked." That told me everything right there. This 99 year old lady, in 2003, was emailing a friend in China. I realized right then that this was no ordinary, old lady. She was hip and knew what was going on. She wasn't scared of any technology or new gadgetry. Her attitude was "Bring It On, Baby". She amazed me. Today, I know people half her age who are substantially more intimidated by technology than she ever was.
We would go on to become quite friendly. I visited her regularly, even after I got my promotion to activity coordinator of the dementia units. She would have to give up the computer about three years later (age 102) because her eyesight would fail. She would die four years after that (age 106). The last couple years of her life, I only saw her on Christmas. I'd eventually quit working at Fancy-Shmancy, but continued volunteering there. One of my regular volunteer gigs was covering Christmas; I visited all the residents in the home on that day and Mabel always gave me some See's chocolate which friends sent her for the holidays. She never lost her faculties either.
I'll never forget the 99 year old lady whom I interrupted on the computer.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
In Search Of Kitchen Perfection -Or- Save Your Soul And Settle For Just Plain Good
Page Sixty.
There's a movement going on right now that I have a little problem with. There are certain cookbooks and cooking magazines which teach how to make "perfect" versions of things. I really disagree with that concept. This morning, I was leafing through one of those magazines which teach how to make the "best version possible" of a variety of foods. I found myself feeling sorry for inexperienced people who might try making some of those items. The pressure they must put on themselves while searching for kitchen perfection is unfortunate and sorrowful.
As someone who's quite at home in the kitchen, I can look at certain cookbooks and say to myself something like, "I don't need to stress out trying to get a perfect burger". A decent burger with an order of ease, comfort and relaxation on the side is just fine by me. But a lot of novices can't do that. They see these recipes and assume that the perfect burger is the only one worth eating. And, if the process causes a three day migraine, well, so be it. If moderate or advanced cooks want to improve their skills, that's one thing, but for beginners, these cookbooks are simply misguided.
I have a friend who's in his sixties and a man of the cloth. He's a wonderful person who doesn't cook. I mean, he really doesn't cook. I believe he probably owns a spatula and perhaps uses it to flip eggs in the morning. But I think it's equally possible that he goes out to eat every morning, noon and night and indeed hasn't ever flipped an egg in his life. While at his home for a party a while back, I noticed a set of cookbooks on a kitchen shelf. I'd never noticed a cookbook in his place before, so I went over to investigate. I found an unwrapped set of Julia Child's French cookbooks. I was shocked. I didn't ask him about them. I just immediately figured that some well-meaning friend or congregant assumed he would like to learn to cook, so what better place to start than Julia. Like I said, they were still in plastic, up on that shelf. Perhaps he even told somebody that he'd like to learn to cook and received those in response. I recognize that I'm jumping to conclusions here, but if you knew this fellow, you wouldn't question, for a second, the incongruity of him owning a Julia Child set. Nobody but nobody is more intimidating than Julia. Fantastic as she is, she's hardly for beginners. (And somebody spent a lot of money for those books, too.)
Therein lies the problem, beginners don't know what a beginner cookbook is and what and advanced cookbook is. Giving my minister friend Julia is akin to giving her to an 8 year old. The same goes for cookbooks which teach "perfection". Who are they really for? They're certainly not for the average skill cook who has to feed his or her spouse and three kids and then rush the kids off to soccer. But the magazines sure don't say that.
Effective beginner cookbooks are Joy of Cooking or the Fannie Farmer Cookbook. (I consult Fannie more than Joy.) Concerning my minister friend, if he ever told me he wanted a cookbook, you know what I'd do? I'd consider a children's cookbook. I'd probably talk with him about it first though and make sure that he wouldn't be offended. You have to accept and meet people where they are. And perfection is almost always over-rated anyhow, even in the kitchen.
There's a movement going on right now that I have a little problem with. There are certain cookbooks and cooking magazines which teach how to make "perfect" versions of things. I really disagree with that concept. This morning, I was leafing through one of those magazines which teach how to make the "best version possible" of a variety of foods. I found myself feeling sorry for inexperienced people who might try making some of those items. The pressure they must put on themselves while searching for kitchen perfection is unfortunate and sorrowful.
As someone who's quite at home in the kitchen, I can look at certain cookbooks and say to myself something like, "I don't need to stress out trying to get a perfect burger". A decent burger with an order of ease, comfort and relaxation on the side is just fine by me. But a lot of novices can't do that. They see these recipes and assume that the perfect burger is the only one worth eating. And, if the process causes a three day migraine, well, so be it. If moderate or advanced cooks want to improve their skills, that's one thing, but for beginners, these cookbooks are simply misguided.
I have a friend who's in his sixties and a man of the cloth. He's a wonderful person who doesn't cook. I mean, he really doesn't cook. I believe he probably owns a spatula and perhaps uses it to flip eggs in the morning. But I think it's equally possible that he goes out to eat every morning, noon and night and indeed hasn't ever flipped an egg in his life. While at his home for a party a while back, I noticed a set of cookbooks on a kitchen shelf. I'd never noticed a cookbook in his place before, so I went over to investigate. I found an unwrapped set of Julia Child's French cookbooks. I was shocked. I didn't ask him about them. I just immediately figured that some well-meaning friend or congregant assumed he would like to learn to cook, so what better place to start than Julia. Like I said, they were still in plastic, up on that shelf. Perhaps he even told somebody that he'd like to learn to cook and received those in response. I recognize that I'm jumping to conclusions here, but if you knew this fellow, you wouldn't question, for a second, the incongruity of him owning a Julia Child set. Nobody but nobody is more intimidating than Julia. Fantastic as she is, she's hardly for beginners. (And somebody spent a lot of money for those books, too.)
Therein lies the problem, beginners don't know what a beginner cookbook is and what and advanced cookbook is. Giving my minister friend Julia is akin to giving her to an 8 year old. The same goes for cookbooks which teach "perfection". Who are they really for? They're certainly not for the average skill cook who has to feed his or her spouse and three kids and then rush the kids off to soccer. But the magazines sure don't say that.
Effective beginner cookbooks are Joy of Cooking or the Fannie Farmer Cookbook. (I consult Fannie more than Joy.) Concerning my minister friend, if he ever told me he wanted a cookbook, you know what I'd do? I'd consider a children's cookbook. I'd probably talk with him about it first though and make sure that he wouldn't be offended. You have to accept and meet people where they are. And perfection is almost always over-rated anyhow, even in the kitchen.
Monday, April 8, 2013
A Chocolate Fountain Recipe
Page Fifty-Nine.
A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I held a community Passover Seder at a local church. It was very successful. Final head count was, I think, about two hundred sixty people. The meal itself was large, hearty and filling. It was mostly traditional fare. We started with green salad with tomatoes, peppers, egg and gefilte fish. After salad, we had the matzo ball soup. Then, our main course was beef brisket, roasted root vegetables and green beans. Dinner was followed by a dessert of chocolate fountains with, as dippers: fresh fruit (strawberries, pineapple and bananas), many varieties of macaroons, egg matzo, walnuts, pretzels and potato chips.
People were just thrilled with the food, which made me very happy. But I'll tell you what's gross: the recipe for the chocolate fountain. Your chocolate has to be deceptively thin to work properly. After you've melted the chocolate chips, say, a few pounds, you then have to add to it 1/4 - 1/2 cup of pure vegetable oil. Once you've mixed the oil and chocolate thoroughly in a bowl with a spoon, you can pour it into the fountain and off you go. But I'm telling you, the chocolate has got to be really thin. Just don't tell anybody what you've just done because they'll get sick. I'll tell you what though. If you don't add enough oil, the fountain simply won't work. The chocolate will clog the feeder tube and you'll have one serious mess on your hands.
Chocolate fondue doesn't require so much oil, just a little bit of butter, but with 260 people, fondue isn't a viable alternative either. So next year, if I do another Seder, it'll be tons of chocolate with tons of vegetable oil. Oh, well.
A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I held a community Passover Seder at a local church. It was very successful. Final head count was, I think, about two hundred sixty people. The meal itself was large, hearty and filling. It was mostly traditional fare. We started with green salad with tomatoes, peppers, egg and gefilte fish. After salad, we had the matzo ball soup. Then, our main course was beef brisket, roasted root vegetables and green beans. Dinner was followed by a dessert of chocolate fountains with, as dippers: fresh fruit (strawberries, pineapple and bananas), many varieties of macaroons, egg matzo, walnuts, pretzels and potato chips.
People were just thrilled with the food, which made me very happy. But I'll tell you what's gross: the recipe for the chocolate fountain. Your chocolate has to be deceptively thin to work properly. After you've melted the chocolate chips, say, a few pounds, you then have to add to it 1/4 - 1/2 cup of pure vegetable oil. Once you've mixed the oil and chocolate thoroughly in a bowl with a spoon, you can pour it into the fountain and off you go. But I'm telling you, the chocolate has got to be really thin. Just don't tell anybody what you've just done because they'll get sick. I'll tell you what though. If you don't add enough oil, the fountain simply won't work. The chocolate will clog the feeder tube and you'll have one serious mess on your hands.
Chocolate fondue doesn't require so much oil, just a little bit of butter, but with 260 people, fondue isn't a viable alternative either. So next year, if I do another Seder, it'll be tons of chocolate with tons of vegetable oil. Oh, well.
Friday, April 5, 2013
A Thirteenth Birthday Meal
Page Fifty-Eight.
Tomorrow is the 13th birthday of one of the boys whom I currently nanny. For his birthday meal, Zok has asked me to make him homemade chicken noodle soup and homemade pretzels with a rosemary cheese dipping sauce. Is this a joke? What 13 year old boy asks for things like that? Boys who I nanny, that's who. Their grandmother has accused me one thousand times of spoiling them. I always tell her that spoiling them is my job, but this is ridiculous.
Right now, I have the soup cooking on my stove. Real, homemade chicken noodle soup is a two day affair, so I'll simply bring the finished product with me. It'll be easier that way. (Eventually, I'll put my recipe for the soup in this blog, but for now, all you need to know is: it is very time consuming and expensive.)
But, anyhow, what ever happened to 13 year old boys wanting really great Chicken Tetrazini or fresh, homemade lasagne or even homemade pizza? (All these are things I make great, by the way.) At least the little one, Fauntleroy, who'll be 9 this summer, is consistent. Every year he wants Belgian Waffles and Baked Alaska for his birthday. Lord help me when the middle one, Billy-Bob-Joe, turns 11 in a month. He's the pickiest. He's the way I was when I was a kid, virtually impossible. Interestingly, I successfully introduced him, of all people, to caviar. Nobody else will touch the stuff but he loves it.
I've been with these boys for almost two and a half years now and feeding them has gotten easier and more difficult, simultaneously. I've introduced much new food and homemade versions of old food. It's gotten easier because of the occasional success I have with introducing new dishes. It's more difficult because as I bring in new things, they no longer want the old, easier versions of those things. For example, Lord help me if I were to open a can of chicken noodle soup and present it to Zok for his birthday meal. No! no! no! Only homemade will do.(With homemade pretzels with rosemary cheese dipping sauce. How dysfunctional is that?) Maybe I'm just complaining and being lazy, but I promise you he never had homemade chicken soup in his life until I showed up.
The fact is, on the rare occasions when I make grilled cheese sandwiches with Tots and salad, they're thrilled. And Mom has told me a few times that I can relax a little with the food. But, I can't. It's not in my nature. Of course, I'm spoiling them. But, that's okay.
Tomorrow is the 13th birthday of one of the boys whom I currently nanny. For his birthday meal, Zok has asked me to make him homemade chicken noodle soup and homemade pretzels with a rosemary cheese dipping sauce. Is this a joke? What 13 year old boy asks for things like that? Boys who I nanny, that's who. Their grandmother has accused me one thousand times of spoiling them. I always tell her that spoiling them is my job, but this is ridiculous.
Right now, I have the soup cooking on my stove. Real, homemade chicken noodle soup is a two day affair, so I'll simply bring the finished product with me. It'll be easier that way. (Eventually, I'll put my recipe for the soup in this blog, but for now, all you need to know is: it is very time consuming and expensive.)
But, anyhow, what ever happened to 13 year old boys wanting really great Chicken Tetrazini or fresh, homemade lasagne or even homemade pizza? (All these are things I make great, by the way.) At least the little one, Fauntleroy, who'll be 9 this summer, is consistent. Every year he wants Belgian Waffles and Baked Alaska for his birthday. Lord help me when the middle one, Billy-Bob-Joe, turns 11 in a month. He's the pickiest. He's the way I was when I was a kid, virtually impossible. Interestingly, I successfully introduced him, of all people, to caviar. Nobody else will touch the stuff but he loves it.
I've been with these boys for almost two and a half years now and feeding them has gotten easier and more difficult, simultaneously. I've introduced much new food and homemade versions of old food. It's gotten easier because of the occasional success I have with introducing new dishes. It's more difficult because as I bring in new things, they no longer want the old, easier versions of those things. For example, Lord help me if I were to open a can of chicken noodle soup and present it to Zok for his birthday meal. No! no! no! Only homemade will do.(With homemade pretzels with rosemary cheese dipping sauce. How dysfunctional is that?) Maybe I'm just complaining and being lazy, but I promise you he never had homemade chicken soup in his life until I showed up.
The fact is, on the rare occasions when I make grilled cheese sandwiches with Tots and salad, they're thrilled. And Mom has told me a few times that I can relax a little with the food. But, I can't. It's not in my nature. Of course, I'm spoiling them. But, that's okay.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
On Making Chicken Pot Pie.
Page Fifty-Seven.
Way back on page fifty-two, I talked about Chicken Pot Pie.I implied that it's an ordeal and complicated to make. Believe it or not, it really isn't. In fact during the last few blogs, I have taught you how to do it, I just didn't tell you that I was teaching how to make Chicken Pot Pie because it sounds so intimidating.
On page fifty-three, I instructed how to make the chicken; on fifty-four, the vegetables; on fifty-six, the sauce; and on fifty-two the crust. All of those recipes fit neatly together to make one casserole which feeds about eight people. While the chicken is in the oven, make the veggies. When both of those are finished, make the sauce, then put all that stuff into a large baking dish. Finish with the crust. Finally, put everything in the oven, 425 F. for 20-25 minutes or until the crust is light brown and the filling is bubbly. This is one of the most comforting foods in the history of comfort foods. And most kids will eat it. It is not low fat, but it is high protein and full of vegetables. Serve this with a green salad on the side and you have a very satisfying meal. Bone Appetite!
Way back on page fifty-two, I talked about Chicken Pot Pie.I implied that it's an ordeal and complicated to make. Believe it or not, it really isn't. In fact during the last few blogs, I have taught you how to do it, I just didn't tell you that I was teaching how to make Chicken Pot Pie because it sounds so intimidating.
On page fifty-three, I instructed how to make the chicken; on fifty-four, the vegetables; on fifty-six, the sauce; and on fifty-two the crust. All of those recipes fit neatly together to make one casserole which feeds about eight people. While the chicken is in the oven, make the veggies. When both of those are finished, make the sauce, then put all that stuff into a large baking dish. Finish with the crust. Finally, put everything in the oven, 425 F. for 20-25 minutes or until the crust is light brown and the filling is bubbly. This is one of the most comforting foods in the history of comfort foods. And most kids will eat it. It is not low fat, but it is high protein and full of vegetables. Serve this with a green salad on the side and you have a very satisfying meal. Bone Appetite!
Monday, April 1, 2013
Medium White Sauce
Page Fifty-Six.
Do you ever need just a nice little sauce to go over something or to put other stuff into? Like, for instance, say, you want to make some Chicken a la King and you have all your chicken and other crud ready, but you don't have a sauce to put it in. Well, here you go:
Slowly melt over medium low heat, 1 stick of butter. When it's melted stir in 1/2 cup of flour. Mix occasionally over low heat for a few minutes. (Right now you're basically cooking the flour to eliminate it's raw taste.) While the flour/butter mixture is slowly cooking, put 1 quart of milk in the microwave or in a separate pot on the stove and heat 'till warm. Pour the warm milk into the butter/flour mixture and stir until thickened, just a few minutes should do it. Add salt, pepper and any other spices you wish to flavor it up. (If for example, you're making the aforementioned Chicken a la King, you can add a couple of chicken bullion cubes and perhaps some poultry seasoning. But this, really, is just an example.) By the way, this is enough sauce to feed eight to ten people if you add a lot of other stuff to it. Of course, you can divide it very easily. For a family of four with little leftover use 1/2 stick butter, 1/4 cup flour and 2 cups milk. Feel free to make even less or gobs more if desired.
This is a perfect "medium" white sauce. Good gravy, that was easy!
Do you ever need just a nice little sauce to go over something or to put other stuff into? Like, for instance, say, you want to make some Chicken a la King and you have all your chicken and other crud ready, but you don't have a sauce to put it in. Well, here you go:
Slowly melt over medium low heat, 1 stick of butter. When it's melted stir in 1/2 cup of flour. Mix occasionally over low heat for a few minutes. (Right now you're basically cooking the flour to eliminate it's raw taste.) While the flour/butter mixture is slowly cooking, put 1 quart of milk in the microwave or in a separate pot on the stove and heat 'till warm. Pour the warm milk into the butter/flour mixture and stir until thickened, just a few minutes should do it. Add salt, pepper and any other spices you wish to flavor it up. (If for example, you're making the aforementioned Chicken a la King, you can add a couple of chicken bullion cubes and perhaps some poultry seasoning. But this, really, is just an example.) By the way, this is enough sauce to feed eight to ten people if you add a lot of other stuff to it. Of course, you can divide it very easily. For a family of four with little leftover use 1/2 stick butter, 1/4 cup flour and 2 cups milk. Feel free to make even less or gobs more if desired.
This is a perfect "medium" white sauce. Good gravy, that was easy!
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