What Casey Kasem Gave Me

     Page Two Hundred Fifty-One.

     I found myself feeling very sad over the loss of Mr. Kasem. I listened to his show every week when I was younger and learned a lot from it.
     Some people consider me to have an unnatural knowledge of entertainment trivia from the 1910's-1990's. Much of that was inspired by listening to the weekly countdown each Sunday. Casey's show inspired me to want more information than just the obvious. And not only that, but that desire was okay.
     Contemporary American culture sometimes teaches that it's uncool to know history and it's effects on today. The AT40 taught the the opposite. Thanks Casey. 

Lobster Newburg

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Nine.

     Believe it or not, Lobster Newburg is just small lobster chunks in a sherry-cream sauce, served over toast. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. If you can make a moderately thin cream sauce, (think chicken a la king style) just do it, adding some sherry to thin. Then add your pre-cooked lobster chunks and serve over really great bread which is hot from the toaster and cut into triangles. Look up specific recipes on the net, but really it's that easy and simple. And scrumpdilyicious.  
     
    

Quito. Chapter 11. A Glimmer Of Hope.

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Eight.
     Meanwhile, back at the ranch... the kids were freaking out. "I'm freaking out", declared William. "Where could Quito be? Dudes, where could that Wanda be hiding him? This whole thing is a real bummer."
     "This is a rather dubious situation", confirmed Thomas.
     "Yeah. I don't like the way things are looking", added Jackson.
     "Affirmative", piped little baby Jordan.
     "Well, what are we going to do?", asked Jackson. "Wait, I know", he declared, answering his own question. "We need to call people and tell them what's going on. If we have enough people looking for him, then maybe we'll get some results."
     So that's exactly what they did. The four of them brainstormed a long list of various people and agencies who might be able to help, and one by one the kids spent all day making phone calls. In order, William got on his Winnie the Pooh phone and called the local agencies: the Mayor's office and the Shaker Heights police and fire departments. He also called Shaker Heights Country Club, Canterbury Country Club, Shaker Heights animal control and the city kennel thinking that it couldn't hurt. Additionally, he phoned the Cuyahoga County Executive's office and the Northeast Ohio Regional Sewer District, again, just in case.
     Thomas used his Mickey Mouse phone and took on the state and national agencies: the governors office; the FBI; the CIA; the marines, army, navy and air force; the National Guard; the White House; NASA; the Secret Service and Coast Guard.
     Jackson used his Scooby-Doo phone to make the international calls as he was the one who was most well-connected with people in really high places. He phoned the GRU (Glavnoye Razvedyvatel'noye Upravleniye); Scotland Yard, Mossad; The IDF (Israel Defense Force); The Royal Canadian Mounted Police; BND (Bundesnachrichtendienst); Interpol and MI6 (British Secret Intelligence Service). (Seriously, Jackson was REALLY well-connected.)
     Meanwhile, Jordan, on her Richard Nixon phone, contacted people and organizations whom we wouldn't normally think of, but you just never know... Michelle Obama; Prince George; FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association); Bill Gates; The IOC (International Olympic Committee); Lady Gaga; Kim Jong Un; Pope Francis and Greenpeace. (Jordan was well-connected, too.)
     They spent all day contacting people. People was very sympathetic, understanding and helpful, too. So helpful, in fact, that everybody whom they spoke with generated plans and ideas together to find and free Quito. Kim Jong Un and MI6 came up with one plan together. Lady Gaga, BND, Prince George and the Sewer District came up with another plan. Greenpeace and the city kennel came up with yet another plan. And many other ideas were tossed around as well. Many people had glimmers of hope and they tried to calm the children down.
     Spending the day on the phone wore the children out. Their necks hurt very badly from the phone cradling and their hands were cramped from the dialing and writing out of ideas. By dinnertime they only wanted to go to bed and then wake up to the smell of Quito making some fresh, dark-roast Columbian decaffeinated coffee, sweetened with brown sugar and lightened with scalded whole milk.
     They could barely keep their eyes open long enough to gulp down the Lobster Newburg which William had whipped up. He even had to put Jimi Hendrix on the Victrola just to keep them awake while eating. They all went to sleep very upset and nearly crying as they were so sad because they missed their black and white, furry buddy.
     Continued Next Week... Quito Chapter 12. A Boo-Boo.  

Great Oatmeal Tricks

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Seven.
     Want to know how to dress up oatmeal when you're still asleep and can't think clearly? Here are some little hints.

     1) Add a tablespoon of bran to each serving of oatmeal while cooking. You'll also have to add a touch more water, too. This extra fiber adds nutrition and also makes the bowl of deliciousness more filling; thereby, keeping you from craving your next meal for a longer duration.
     2) Add some craisins, raisins, chopped dates, walnuts, pecans, pistachios or whatever you like while cooking. Again, add a little extra water. Be prepared, the cooking process will reconstitute the dried fruit and it will be warm, gooey, ooey and yummy. All these items will add even more healthful bulk, to keep you full longer. If adding the tree nuts, you'll get that much more protein.
     3) Add cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger or cardamom. Add vanilla extract or other extracts:  almond, orange, lemon, mint, butter rum, etc. while cooking. Pure flavor.
     4) Add brown sugar while cooking. There's no law against a little sweetness and malty flavor.
     5) After cooking, add maple syrup or table syrup. What was that about no law against sweetness?
     6) Top with finely diced fresh fruit like apples. Or toss on some berries, bananas or... why the possibilities are endless. Sprinkle on some crunchy granola. Yum
     7) Top with milk. This increases the protein, of course, and also if you didn't add enough cooking water, the milk will fill in the moisture gaps. This protein and calcium also makes it a complete and balanced meal.
     8) Prepare all the dry ingredients the night before. Put everything into the sauce pan and cover with the lid. Refrigerate or not, who cares? Then, when you arise in the morning, there's no thought involved. Just add the liquids, cook slowly for 5 minutes and chow down.
     9) For example, Orange Creamsicle Oatmeal: vanilla extract, orange extract, grated orange rind, white sugar and milk. Or Lemon-Poppy Oatmeal. Or Butter-Rum Oatmeal with extra butter added. Or Sweet Green Tea Oatmeal made with green tea instead of water. That would be good with cardamom, honey and chopped dates. Hawaiian Oatmeal cooked with a combination of water and pineapple juice and topped with more pineapple, sweetened coconut, chopped walnuts or almonds, coconut milk and topped with a marachino cherry. Come up with your own combinations. Anything you can create and cook at home will be substantially healthier than a McMuffin, doughnut or something prepared straight from a box in the freezer. 
     10) Remember, always add that bran to increase the nutrition.

Quito. Chapter 10. Wanda's Hide-Out

     Two Hundred Forty-Six.
     As Quito slowly came to, he was very groogy and didn't understand what had happened to him. Then, he realized that he'd been dog-napped and was being held in a kennel which was far too small. But he was barely able to get up and walk around in a tight little circle before settling down again. He looked around and saw Wanda's henchmen, or rather, hench-poodles, playing video games. They were playing Minecraft and apparently having the time of their lives as they didn't notice that he'd woken up from the chemicals they'd used to put him to sleep. Also, he was always in a bad mood when he first woke up; he didn't like to talk with people at all first thing in the morning. Typically the only thing that made him happy at sunrise was a big bowl of oatmeal. He especially loved it when it was dressed up with lots of fruit and other sweet stuff. But he had the feeling that his captors weren't good cooks, He found out that he was correct about their lack of cooking expertise much sooner than he would have preferred.
     One of the poodles just happened to look over and noticed that Quito was awake. "He's awake" the small black dog yipped to the other six canines.
     "Well, let's give him something to eat", yapped an all white poodle who's hair was cut to look like a fancy bush in your garden; he even had ribbons on him. (Actually, you sort of had to feel sorry for the little guy, even if he was an evil hench-poodle. He looked like he just stepped out of a French beauty salon and his name should be Fifi.) Then a couple of the others got up, went to a corner of the room, put some things in a bowl, brought it over and slipped it into the cage. Our hero began eating and realized that it was old, stale Rice Krispies with no extra sugar or strawberries. Also, the milk was beginning to turn sour. It was just awful. The meal was not fit for a king, he thought. But being well-mannered and polite, he ate what was offered to him. Quito knew that being a gracious guest was just as important as being a gracious host and that included eating what was presented to him while a prisoner in a villain's secret hide-out. But while attempting to consume this most horrible meal, he was also looking around and trying to figure out where he was and how to get out.
     The room appeared to be in a basement. He could figure this out because he saw three windows across the top of the walls. And looking out of the windows, he saw grass and plants, so he knew he was looking up front underground. Additionally, the windows had thick, black, metal bars on them. So, whatever was inside, stayed inside; and whatever was outside, stayed outside. The walls were old, dirty brick and the floor was gray concrete. It was a little messy, but he'd seen worse. He noticed something else though. The odor was somewhat familiar. He couldn't place it, but he'd definitely smelled this odor before. It wasn't a bad odor, in fact, it smelled like a cleaning solution of some type.
     "Well, well, well. How nice to see you again, Quito. I trust our accommodations, though not fancy, meet your lowest expectations?" Quito saw Wanda entering the room from a very small door in the corner. For the quick moment that the tiny door was opened, he could see sunlight streaming down a flight of stairs leading to this delicate opening.
     "Wanda, you can do whatever you want to me, but I will not be your spokesdog!"
     "How quaint. You think that's why I've doggie-napped you? Not at all. I've decided to eliminate you. I'm done trying to get you in my ads. Now I'm just going to use you as an example to make sure that nobody ever says NO! to me ever again. I'm going to make sure you never say anything to anybody else ever again. You see Quito, I have powers of my own that you don't know about. I'm sending you into a parallel universe which is right next door. And you're going to live there forever. And not only that, but I'm going to make sure that you only ever watch commercials in the other universe. I'm going to transport you with an old-fashioned, small screen, square TV and arrange it so that whenever a real show comes on, the channel will automatically switch and you'll be back to watching commercials for medicine, carpet and banks for ever and ever and ever."
     "Spot, you and Fido walk Quito over to the sofa in the corner and use a leash to tie him up there. Prince, Rusty, Skipper and Ruff, you bring the Universal Alternator up from storage. Bingo you make some kibble to nibble while we're transforming Quito." 
     One hour and seventeen minutes later Quito was leashed up to the sofa and a big pink and purple contraption that looked a little like a television camera was aiming right toward his chest. On the other side of the room was the dingiest little TV you ever saw and all sorts of wires and cables were connecting it to the pink and purple contraption. Our hero was concerned. He couldn't see a way out.
    Continued next week... Chapter 11. A Glimmer of Hope.

How Unfortunate

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Five.
     A few weeks ago in this blog I mentioned that I'd decided to put myself on care.com in hopes of finding a new nanny position. I filled out the application, getting, according to them "71%" done.  I paid $60 for a background check, wrote my experience, posted my photo, lined up some references and so forth. Everything I posted to my bio was properly approved by the company.
     A female co-worker who'd gotten work through them encouraged me to post myself on this website as she thought they'd beat a path to my door what with my resume and all. In fact, a few people in the recent past encouraged me to do it. I'd assumed any agency would laugh at me 'cause I'm a male. "No, go on and do it. They'll love you 'cause of all your experience", everybody said.
     So last Friday, I applied for my first job, watching a newborn and a toddler - part-time, a job I feel very confident about. Later in the day, I received an e-mail from care.com saying that they'd dismissed me, with no reason given. In this "form letter" they said that it's their right to dismiss anybody at any time, and they'd inform anybody who I'd been in contact with that they'd let me go. What in the world?
     I knew it! I assume what happened is this mommy received my e-mail of interest, saw I was a guy, freaked out, assuming I was a child molester and contacted the company. That's all I can guess. If this isn't sexism I don't know what is. Society just refuses to think that men can watch children. And by society, I mean modern-day mommies and daddies. I don't care if they claim to be on the political left or right, the vast bulk of modern-American parents flatly refuse to acknowledge any possibility that men can care for children as much as women can. That disgusts me. 
     Further more, I can't tell you how many adds I saw that said "must love kids" right in the add. Why would anybody need to put that in a nanny-wanted post? I don't get why anybody would pick a profession like child-care unless they adored children. I think that's one of those jobs that someone wouldn't even approach without a very strong care-giving personality profile already in place.
     How unfortunate that people think that males are only able to do certain jobs and females are only able to do others. With no overlap. And we think we've come so far.

Michael Jackson In Concert - A Review

     Page Two Hundred Forty-Four.

      Now there's talk of an Michael Jackson hologram concert tour?  Is this true? I hope I only heard the newest urban legend. I realize that people are so desperate for him they really would pay to see something like that, but I think it would be creepy and gross. If promoters are going to do something like that, than is a hologram concert tour of, say, Al Jolson far behind? After all, Jolson is considered possibly the greatest entertainer of the 20th century, regardless of genre of era. But why stop there? How about Frank Sinatra, John Lennon or Billie Holiday? I mean, come on. Really people. Just come on.
     I saw MJ live in concert twice. First in '84 at the old Cleveland Browns Stadium on the Victory tour with his brothers and then again in '88 at the old Richfield Coliseum where he performed solo. I suppose that's why I'm able to sleep soundly at night. I simply saw my MJ needs met.
     The '88 concert was the night prior to a mid-term and I did the only logical thing: I brought my books and notes with me and studied at the show. It made perfect sense to me. After all, I knew that he'd have some ridiculous magician as his opening act. He always did. So, during Houdini's act, I studied. (Now there's someone I'd see live in hologram, Harry Houdini.) Everybody sitting around me was staring, too. But as people stared, pointed their fingers and laughed I simply explained my mid-term the next day and they all wished me luck. I'm not making any of this up, either. That Introduction to Mass Communications mid-term would go on to become the first "A" that I'd ever receive on a mid-term or final. So there!!!
     Michael Jackson live in concert - solo, rating: 10/10.
     Victory Tour: 9/10. (Staging and theatrics just a tad too dippy for my taste.)