Having Conversations With Dementia Patients

     Page Two Hundred Seventy-Four.
     Some old work supplies were recently returned to me by a friend who borrowed them a couple of years ago. She's a college instructor who used them to show her art therapy classes different ways to interact and have meaningful conversations with people with moderate to severe dementia from Alzheimer's or any other memory impairment. These books were assembled by me for me when I was in charge of activities for two dementia units in a nearby nursing home.     
     One of the books is nothing but photos of people, places and things which people born prior to 1940 or so would be able to relate to. The worlds of entertainment, politics, sports and current events are all included. I copied the pictures from history books and then assembled them in a binder and used it over and over again for the years that I was on that job. Just showing people the pictures conjured up old, buried memories and subsequently, conversations began. I'd strongly recommend any care-giver to a demented loved one consider creating a similar book. It can help provide hours of stimulating conversation. Of course, it helps if the care-giver has done a little research on the various topics so as to prod the conversation along. 
     These photos are an example of ones in my book. Admittedly, I'm a grand risk-taker. Not all of these pictures would be appropriate for all audiences, but in my racially and religiously integrated nursing home, I used photos quite similar to these with great effect. You know your loved one, I don't. But, you'll be surprised what gets the juices going.

DOUGHNUT DAY!!! Part 3

     Page One Hundred Forty-Eight.

     So, one Friday morning in October, 2005(?), there's a FRONT PAGE story in the Cleveland Plain Dealer about Annual Doughnut Day in Cleveland Heights. It's a glorious human interest story about this fellow, Tom, who plays in the Cleveland Orchestra, and how he invites scores of guests onto his front lawn to marvel at this doughnut contraption. The article mentions Homer Price, the garage sale (but not Chuck), Father's Day, and how much this gathering typifies daily life in Cleveland Heights (a small town masquerading as an old, large, quirky Cleveland suburb) and how the gathering was the very next day. I read the article and said to myself, "I'm totally in on this".
     I looked up Tom's address in the phone book (you may remember phone books form the olden days) and showed up. I hardly needed an address. The cars and mob scene were crazy. You'd have thought that Abraham Lincoln and Marilyn Monroe were making special guest appearances. The line was easily twenty-five minutes long. But that little contraption was too cool. It was mesmerizing to watch one thingy-doey spill out dough into a tray filled with hot oil. Then, that dough floated along for a while. Then another thingy-doey magically flipped it over without anybody even asking it to. Then, the dough floated along some more. Then, by that time it was a real live doughnut.

                                                           IT'S A MODERN DAY MIRACLE!!!

     Then, it hit a little, metal conveyer belt which mystically lifted it up and out of the hot oil. Then, the metal belt lifted higher and higher toward the sky, when it would suddenly drop the little bit of  heaven onto a waiting plate below, onto which grubby fingers would grasp it for dear life. "MINE, NOT YOURS... MINE". It was incredible. Yet more proof of God's existence.  
     I introduced myself to Tom and we got to talking. He told me he knew about the impending article, but had no idea it'd be on the front page. When he saw it he immediately went out and bought a few hundred more pounds of mix. Thankfully, he didn't need that much.
     I told him how much I loved Homer Price also and we bonded. A couple of months later, I borrowed the machine and used it at a special event at Fancy-Shmancy Nursing Home. Tom insisted on donating the batter and oil (he always donated the supplies whenever anybody borrowed the thing.) It ended up one of the most horrific experiences of my life.
     I couldn't figure out how everything went together. Tom was in Europe, touring with the orchestra, so I was really on my own. I've very rarely been that frustrated. I'm actually very mechanically inclined, but I just couldn't get that thing to work properly. I wanted to cry. I even snapped at one of the old ladies who lived there. (She immediately forgave me and told me that I'm a real live human being just like everybody else.) I was eventually able to get lots of malformed little doughnut holes. And everybody was happy to eat those. Afterwards, I couldn't get the thing cleaned properly either. I wanted to cry again. So, I just gave up. I'm somebody who's a smidgeon preoccupied with perfection, and brother, I didn't get it that day. It remains one of my most psychotic professional memories to this day. But I digress.
     Anyhow... Tom quickly forgave me for returning the contraption in filthy shape and we've become friendly acquaintances over the years. He's a very active member of his church, which just happens to be where I held my enormous Passover Seder last spring. He and Cindy attended and both helped out, too. (I'm glad he got to see that I could  do something successfully.)
    I e-mailed him last week to find out when doughnut day was this year and he told me, 10.12.13. I'm too excited. So is everybody else. His children, now older, come in from college, as do all their friends to attend. In fact, 3 or 4 or 5 neighboring front lawns are taken over by children, younger and older, and dogs, playing football and eating doughnuts, while parents mingle and eat doughnuts. There will be Cleveland Height City Council wannabees campaigning and eating doughnuts. The mayor will be there of course, along with the church pastors and many congregants eating doughnuts. Franz Welser-Most, the conductor of the Cleveland Orchestra, and many orchestra members will be there, eating doughnuts. Assorted other friends, neighbors, relatives, dogs and extras will be there, eating doughnuts.
     And importantly, I'll be there, breaking my diet, eating doughnuts (and handing out my business card - trying to drum up work for myself). It's a doughnut party. Nothing more... nothing less. It just doesn't get more fun than that. (Except some years ago, I had a friend who had an annual pizza party. I should tell that story sometime too.) 

Before Doughnut Day...

Pepperoni Sauce

     Page Seventy-Three.
     On page seventy-two of this blog, I wrote about the world's most questionable spaghetti sauce. Let me tell you now of a truly great spaghetti sauce trick.
     It was April, 1912. I was traveling from England to New York by way of the Titanic. It was one of the more interesting experiences I've had in my life. And that's saying something, 'cause I've had some pretty interesting experiences. I mean really. Have you ever sailed on the Titanic? It's not dull. Everybody was trying to outdo everybody else, with all their name dropping and jewels and furs. And the conversations were completely over the top: which is a superior autocar? The McLaren F1 or the Bugatti Veyron. They really were arguing about this, no kidding. Also, some of the other passengers were debating Niece vs.Monaco, which is better? I just wanted to throw up. But still, it was an entertaining trip.
     I was staying in first class, and  on the third night I was eating dinner in the A La Carte Restaurant. I wasn't in the mood for anything too fancy so I ordered the spaghetti with meat sauce. While waiting for my meal, who in the world should appear in the doorway but James Dean? I was really surprised too, because I'd recently read in one of the tabloids that he was busy filming The Wizard Of Oz in Hollywood. That just goes to show how much you can trust the tabloids. He appeared to be alone so I invited him to join me as I was solo too. He was as sullen and moody as is his reputation and he also drank a lot. But he was a nice enough chap; he seemed interested in finding out about me and my interests. It turned out that we both loved the book Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner and also the rock band Joy Division. So we had a lot to talk about. He also ordered the spaghetti.
   By the time dinner showed up we were famished. The salad was great. It was a bed of greens: romaine, butter and arugula with, get this, hot, sauteed onions, red peppers and mushrooms placed on top. Then, blue cheese, whole, marinated, garlic cloves and sweetened cranberries were sprinkled on top of that. It was deadly good. There was also a hot, crusty bread to go with it. But the award really goes to that red sauce. It was a normal meat sauce, but it wasn't. It was spicier than normal and a little sweet. I was deliriously happy while eating it. James liked it too, but he didn't seem to see heaven the way I did.
     I couldn't resist and requested an audience with the executive chef to find out his secret. As it turned out, the executive chef was Marilyn Monroe! I knew that she was quite the cook as I'd read that in a number of different sources (you don't think of Marilyn Monroe as being a strong cook, but she really was). I just was shocked to see her moonlighting as the executive chef on the Titanic. She explained that she had a little time in between film shoots. She'd just finished filming Forrest Gump and had a while prior to pre-production on A Christmas Story. So during her hiatus, she'd acquired this job. (She also had never met James Dean, so it was nice to see them mingle.)
     She was as nice as you can imagine and she told me her trick. After browning the ground beef and sauteeing the onions, add tomato paste and tomato sauce as usual. But then, instead of lots of spices, cut up a good amount of pepperoni and add it, along with a dash of sugar, to the sauce. Let the sauce simmer for an hour or longer. Unless the pepperoni is really bland, the inherent spices will leach out and flavor the sauce beautifully. Marilyn further explained that this trick even works with boring jarred sauce. Pour some jarred sauce into a pan and add the same pepperoni and the same sugar. Let it simmer for an hour and serve. It always works.
     Though I didn't love all aspects of that voyage, I made some good friends and met some interesting people (James Dean and Marilyn Monroe. If that's not enough for you, I don't know who else I could add.) I also learned this amazing trick for spaghetti sauce. The trip was definitely worth it.